PADDY, MULLIGAN, GUINNESS AND “COL CANNON’S” PARTY DAY!

17th March.....

St. Patrick’s Day was first observed in Boston in 1737 by Irish immigrants, not in Ireland as one would imagine!

Paddy was too busy ridding Ireland of snakes to party! His thoughtless actions impress me not, to be sure! Not having the good manners to ask us if we wanted them, he expelled all the Emerald Isle’s snakes to our shores! It isn’t what I’d call a saintly act! Erroneously Patrick gave no thought to his careless tactic - extremely antagonistic! You can’t even blame the Irish sense of humour for such an antic! Patrick wasn’t Irish! Therein folks the problem does recline!

Paddy, prove your goodwill is genuine! A favour is owed! Come on Down Under, Paddy! Repeat the deed once again, but in reverse this time! Paddy, me lad! Another miracle is overdue!

I’ll even throw a barbecue! Not at you (although I should), but in your honour! It’ll be on the house - well, on the verandah! I dislike heights almost as much as I abhor snakes!


The Irish were slow off the mark in giving you a party, Paddy! It surely was a long time between drinks from the 400s until 1737! This surprises me! Such a lengthy delay is out of character for the Irish!

Not to Harp on it, but perhaps Jameson Whiskey had to come of age first! Couldn’t Cooper find enough trees to lop to make the barrels? Was old Guinness so stout he needed to trim down before celebrations could begin? Maybe Mulligan was too busy practicing his golf swing (golfers will understand), or “Col Cannon” was too engrossed in pickling his cabbage and shallots in cream before tossing in dollops of butter at completion to consider wasting his energy on frivolous pastimes? Whatever the reasons, the Irish worldwide (and those who become Irish for this one day of the year) have since made up for the lack of celebrations prior to those conceived by the Bostonian-Irish who swilled swags of Smithwick’s and kicked up their heels in an inaugural jig!

One day celebrating old Paddy I added green mashed potatoes to the restaurant menu. When presented with his meal an excited little boy’s eyes lit up like beacons. Upon taking his first mouthful, his eyes sprung open in shocked horror! His naïve expectations were crushed by one foul morsel! He’d thought it was lime ice-cream, the poor misguided little tyke!

It was his introduction to life’s disappointments! He had to start somewhere! Happy to oblige!

Never iron a four-leaf clover; you don’t want to press your luck!

Back-To-Front Irish Beef Kebabs: Cut 1kg beef into cubes; heat oil in pan; add beef; add 2 tbls plain flour, 20 whole garlic cloves, salt and pepper. Add onions, cut into eighths. Cook until onions are translucent and beef browned. Add 1 can of Guinness and 2tbls tomato puree. Place in 175C oven, 15mins or so. Skewer cooked beef, onions and garlic. Serve with Green Goddess dressing/dip – blend 1/2c mayo, 1/2c sour cream, 1/4c chopped shallots, 2tbl chopped chives, 2tbls chopped parsley, 1tbl anchovy paste, 1tbl lemon juice, salt and pepper.

Cabbage Nests: Boil whole cabbage leaves until just limp; remove; dip into cold water; dry. Prepare mashed spuds; add cooked, crisp bacon pieces, crushed garlic, grated cheese and chopped shallots. Line muffin tin with cupcake liners; spray with oil; wrap cabbage inside liners to form a nest; cut smaller piece of cabbage; lay on bottom of liner; add mashed spuds; sprinkle with grated cheese. Bake at 175C until crispy.

Guinness Honey-Glazed Pork: Put 300ml Guinness, 100ml honey and 250g brown sugar in pan; reduce to almost half to a syrupy glaze; cool. Season 2kg skinless, boneless loin pork; roast 20mins at 180C; reduce heat 140C. Remove pork from oven; brush with most of the glaze; cook 40-50mins; baste. Remove from oven; rest. Pour remaining glaze into pan; add splash of white wine or water; boil; simmer 4-5mins. Serve pork slices on colcannon; top with syrup.

Irish Eyes: Shake with ice, 30ml Irish Whiskey, 10ml Crème de Menthe, 60ml cream; garnish with Maraschino cherries. The Shamrock: Mix ½ shot Irish whiskey, 1 shot of Vermouth, 3 dashes each Crème de Menthe and Green Chartreuse.