YOU TALKIN’ TO ME? YOU TALKIN’ TO ME? YOU TALKIN’ TO ME?

The title is uttered in my impeccable “Travis Bickle” aka Robert De Niro voice!

I'm sure you, like me, have had those moments - you know the ones - trying to hold your tongue when listening to another person drone on and on endlessly. We’ve all been caught in that situation at one time or the other; and no doubt will continue being trapped in the future.

It made me stop and think for a bit! Uh-oh! I’m an offender! I’ve committed this sin, too. I plead guilty! Shame on me! I doubt one amongst us can claim innocence; no matter how much one protests! If they do, it harks of: “the lady protests too much, methinks” - (it applies to the “man” as well – let’s not be sexist here)!

Staying on this train of thought, there have been times when chatting with someone or another it’s become very obvious I’ve lost his/her attention and interest. The clue - his/her eyes glaze over! Have you ever noticed this intriguing phenomenon? Perhaps your eyes are already starting to glaze over as you read this! Have I lost you already?

It’s off-putting when glazing happens during discourse. It doesn’t always happen, but it does occur; and when it does, I find it very disconcerting! The odd thing is it normally happens when the other person is the one who instigated the conversation!

Lured into a feeling of wellbeing, I’m invited in; the impression having been given that he/she wants my participation; their body language urging me to contribute my tuppence or thruppence, or perhaps a shillings’ worth. Soon after I’ve begun expending that worth (it’s akin to putting coins into a sideshow alley slot machine - it snaffles them up and giving little or nothing in return) I notice my co-conversationalist has lost interest. I’ve become invisible. He or she has drifted off into his/her own world, or reverted to doing whatever he/she was doing before instigating the conversation! What a quandary! I’m then left feeling uneasy; feeling like an intruder or an idiot; or worse, both!

Consumed by embarrassment, my voice dwindles to a whisper (or croak). Shuffling my feet in an almost indiscernible reverse motion, eventually I manage to blend back into the landscape once again! I don’t want to appear rude when trying to make my escape, even though the other person has already displayed his/her ignorance by glazing!

Glazing has been around a long time; long before planking became the craze of the day; and it’ll be around long after planking has been plonked!

So there I find myself; caught like a deer in the headlights, trying to escape a situation I didn’t want to be in, in the first place! An uncomfortable position made evident by the “glazing-over” of others!

It’s there, all right! I’ve seen it! I don’t need the assistance of a CSI team! There is no need to waste forensic experts’ time! Of course, I could stroke the “glazer’s” ego. He or she would soon bounce back to life; but I can’t be bothered! By that stage, I’ve lost interest!

Spicy Orange Glaze for Chicken/Duck: Put in saucepan, 3 crushed garlic cloves, 1tbs finely-grated ginger, 1/4tsp cayenne, 2tbs chilli paste, 1c marmalade, 1/3c rice vinegar, 1/4c hoisin sauce and 1tbs soy sauce; bring to boil over med-heat; cook, stirring, 3mins; cool. Marinate whole or butterflied chicken or chicken pieces a couple of hours; drain; roast or grill on barbecue.

Pork Roast with Spicy Maple Glaze: Preheat oven, 175C. Oil-spray bottom of shallow roasting pan. In bowl, combine 1c Maple syrup, 4tbs Dijon mustard, 2-1/2tbs each cider vinegar and light soy sauce, salt and pepper. Place pork roast in roasting pan; evenly spread with glaze; bake according to pork size; rest 10mins before serving.

Salmon Glaze: Combine 3tbs honey, 1tbs soy sauce and 1tbs sesame oil; spread over 2 salmon fillets; cook in 204C oven, 10mins.

Balsamic-Glazed Salmon: Combine; 3tbs balsamic, 1/4c vegetable oil, 2tbs brown sugar, 1tbs honey and 2-1/2tb soy in glass dish; add fresh salmon fillets, skin-on; marinate 1-3hrs; no longer. Grill salmon, skin-side down, covered, on oiled, preheated med-low grill, 7-9mins; cooking time varies with thickness of salmon and heat of grill.

Apricot-Glazed Ham: Combine 2c diced, dried apricots, zest of 1 orange, 2c sugar, 1/2c orange juice, 1-1/2c water and 2tbs honey; boil; lower heat; simmer 5mins. Add 12tsp each vanilla bean paste and cardamom, 14tsps each allspice and coriander and 1tsp minced fresh sage. Glaze ham with half mix; bake at 175C, about 45mins. Meanwhile, in saucepan, add 2c dried cranberries to remaining apricot mix; add 1c red wine. Simmer until thick. Serve this “chutney” with the ham.