WHAT GETS ON MY GOAT…

My goat has a backbone made of steel with Herculean shoulders as broad as a barn door. My goat has to be very strong because I kid you not - a lot gets on my goat. My poor goat has to bear a burdensome load; a load that increases daily, unfortunately.

Ironically, it’s because there appears to be more of its relatives lurking about these days than ever before - and this really gets on my goat!  Many of these goats should be penned up forever, whether they’re wethered or not; some should be wethered! 

Enough said about that – I won’t air my strong opinions - not at this time, anyway!

I’m not a speed hog, nor am I a speed hound. I’m more a greyhound than a grey fox. It’s more likely I’m a silly old goat! 

In case you’re unaware - the grey fox travels faster than the greyhound (by about 4kms an hour; but 4kms make a big difference if a speed gun is pointed at you).

If I had a choice of what speedy animal I’d prefer to be – I’d like to be a black panther. However, a grey panther is more applicable to me these days. The black (or grey) panther’s top speed is 56 kms; I’d never get a ticket.  With practice I could increase my pace a little.  I wouldn’t mind being known as a grey panther. I’d accept that description - it wouldn’t get on my goat.  It sounds more glamorous than a greyhound; or an old grey mare. 

What does get on my goat, however, is being forced to travel behind those folk who crawl along at 30 to 40kms in a 60km zone.  They amble along; their heads turning left to right and back again; usually with their mouths open; not dissimilar to those open-mouthed, head-turning clowns in a sideshow alley stall!

Another thing on my lengthy “what-gets-on-my-goat” list is people who immediately start complaining about rain when we’ve received about three drops of the precious commodity. Their washing won’t get dry is their woeful cry!

If we get no rain they’ll have no water in which to do their washing. D’oh! They’d then really have something to whinge about! 

Up here on the hill where many households depend solely on rainwater to fill their tanks why on earth would anyone want to complain about a measly few drops of moisture?

Why complain about rain when, in fact, we should be grateful hearing it land on our roof? It’s a comforting sound. We never know when we’ll hear it again. In the meanwhile, the precipitation fills or tops up our tanks. It waters our trees and gardens.  I kid you not – grumbling about rain really gets on my goat.

Forget the washing; an extra rinse or two won’t hurt it – it will dry eventually.  I’d rather have wet washing than a dry throat - that would get on my goat!  I hear dehydration isn’t much fun!

However, I must retract what I wrote above where I stated there seemed to be more goats around nowadays. I’ll never call those who get on my goat “goats” again. I shouldn’t insult goats this way.

I sincerely apologise to all you goats out there, hairy, old or otherwise!

My reasons are - goats are highly intelligent animals. Also, they are curious, coordinated and well-balanced animals.

We mountaineers up here on the range should proudly call ourselves “mountain goats”.  I won’t ram this down your throats, though. 

 I’m a slow old goat!  At a measly 19kms to 25kms top speed goats run faster than I can.

 A mountain goat can climb a mountain at 10kms per hour; downhill they speed it up to 30kms. I’m a ninny; not a nanny!  I can’t achieve either!  I doubt I could run that fast when I was younger! I hated running, uphill or down; unless I was being chased by a billy goat, of course!

Potato-Pumpkin-Goat Cheese Gratin: Preheat oven 200C. Lightly oil casserole dish. Use mandoline or very sharp knife; slice 500g Jap or butternut pumpkin and 500g 4 potatoes or kumara into very thin slices; toss slices with 3tbs olive oil. Spread 1/3^rd slices in bottom of dish; season; top with 55g goat cheese, scattered evenly in large chunks. Repeat with another 1/3^rd of vegetables; season; top with 55g broken-up goat cheese; finish layering with final 1/3^rd of slices; season. Pour 1/4c whole milk over slices and cheese; top with freshly-grated parmesan. Bake, covered 30mins; then bake 15mins, uncovered.

Figs, Goat Cheese Pecans & Bacon: Preheat griller. Halve 6 figs; stuff with goat cheese. Press some halved, toasted pecans into the cheese. Wrap each stuff fig half with a bacon slice; secure with toothpicks. Arrange on baking try; grill 5mins or until bacon is evenly brown and crisp and goat cheese bubbly, slightly browned.

Green Beans with Goat Cheese & Pine Nuts: Heat heavy pan over med-low heat; pour in some olive oil; add trimmed green beans; cook covered; stir every couple of minutes until almost tender and lightly-browned. Add chopped garlic to taste; cook 2mins. Season; add goat cheese and pine nuts (55g pine nuts per 450g beans); stir gently to distribute; cook a couple of minutes to lightly toast the nuts.

Rolled Goat Cheese Omelette: Chop 6 mint springs. Mash 6 small goat cheeses coarsely with fork; add mint, 2tbs olive oil, salt and pepper. Beat 10 eggs; season. Heat 2tbs peanut oil in pan; pour in beaten eggs; cook until set; turn omelette halfway through cooking. Slide onto a plate; garnish with the goat cheese. Tightly roll; cut into thick slices; serve immediately with rocket salad.

PS: I've begun writing my tale about Klaus, the German backpacker I mentioned in my previous post.  Once completed, I shall post my story about Klaus. He was another special young person I've had the good fortune to have met.