AUSSIE PRIDE! LET’S NEVER LOSE IT, NOR OUR AUSSIE SPIRIT! BOTH ARE OURS TO KEEP; OURS TO PROTECT!

In honour of Australia Day, which is just around the corner and down the road a bit, I’ve composed a bit of nonsense and plonked it down below. (Read it after you've had a squizz at the history of Australia Day).   

It’s just a bit of harmless fun using some our Aussie slang.  I hope we never lose our identity in this wonderful country of ours; a country often referred to as “the lucky country”.  I hope, also, that we don’t lose sight or use of our unique slang.  It is ours to be proud of; not to be ashamed of. 

If my readers living in the Northern Hemisphere need translation, my hourly fee is low, practically non-existent, actually. Because I’m feeling in a generous mood during 2015 as a one-off offer, there will be no charge this year.  It might be more fun for you to attempt to decipher what I’ve written without my assistance.  I’m sure you will be able to do so.  You're all a smart mob! You’ll be able to make heads and tails out of it!

However, before you venture forth on an adventure Down Under…here’s some background on the background of “Australia Day…26^th January” for your information, if you're so interested.   

An abbreviated history about the Land of Oz with compliments of Wikipedia:

Quote:  “Australia Day is the official national day of Australia. Celebrated annually on 26 January, it marks the anniversary of the 1788 arrival of the First Fleet of British Ships at Port Jackson, New South Wales, and raising of the Flag of Great Britain at that site by Governor Arthur Phillip. In contemporary Australia, celebrations reflect the diverse society and landscape of the nation, and are marked by community and family events, reflections on Australian history, official community awards, and citizenship ceremonies welcoming new immigrants into the Australian community.^”
The meaning and significance of Australia Day has evolved over time. Unofficially, or historically, the date has also been variously named "Anniversary Day", "Invasion Day", "Foundation Day", and "ANA Day".

26th January 1788 marked the proclamation of British sovereignty over the eastern seaboard of Australia (then known as New Holland). Although it was not known as Australia Day until over a century later, records of celebrations on 26 January date back to 1808, with the first official celebration of the formation of New South Wales held in 1818. On New Years Day 1901, the British colonies of Australia formed a Federation, marking the birth of modern Australia. A national day of unity and celebration was looked for. It was not until 1935 that all Australian states and territories had adopted use of the term "Australia Day" to mark the date, and not until 1994 that the date was consistently marked by a public holiday on that day by all states and territories.^[

In contemporary Australia, the holiday is marked by the presentation of the Australian of the Year Awards on Australia Day Eve, announcement of the Australia Day Honours list and addresses from the Governor-General and Prime Minister. It is an official public holiday in every state and territory of Australia, unless it falls on a weekend in which case the following Monday becomes a public holiday instead. With community festivals, concerts and citizenship ceremonies, the day is celebrated in large and small communities and cities around the nation. Australia Day has become the biggest annual civic event in Australia.”  End Quote


As usual, no doubt there will be a few of the politically-correct mob out waving their flags; jumping up and down flapping their arms about in the air, spewing forth their rhetoric…I’m not one of them.  It is Australia Day! And I’m proud to be an Aussie…very proud, actually.

Fair suck of the sav! Belt up!  Button ya cake-hole and pull ya head in! Stop being a whinger! Get on with it! Enjoy it! Throw a prawn (not a shrimp) on the barbie.  Get ya laughing gear around it! If you don’t like seafood, toss a lamb chop on the barbie; and wash whatever your choice is down with a coldie!  Av-a-go-ya-mug! Have a cuppa and a lamington…but leave some room for the pav after the barbie!

Now that I’ve got your attention…let’s have a bit of a chinwag.  You might call it more of an ear-bashing, but, gee whiz, I hope you enjoy it either which way.  It’s seems yonks since we’ve been able to do this....

G’Day youse! Fair dinkum! Would I yank your chain?  Too right I wouldn’t!  Bloody oath! He strode into the bar as if he owned the place; his well-worn R.M. Williams’ riding boots caked with dry mud and God knows what else. His black Akubra had seen better days; his Wrangler jeans, although needing the help of a few soap suds, fitted him like a second skin – quite decoratively, I might add! I wasn’t having a gander, of course!

Banjo comes to town once in a blue moon, but when he does everyone takes notice except old Bluey. Sitting on his bar stool in the same spot he parks himself daily, Bluey, as usual, was away with the pixies.  Bluey only stirs to take a sip of his amber fluid, or whenever he reaches for his weathered leather tobacco pouch with his nicotine-stained fingers when the rollie glued to his lips is on its last legs; and to give the Aussie salute; but most of the time even the blowies leave Bluey on his Pat Malone with his thoughts.  Old Bluey’s harmless. No one knows how old he is. Some yobbos who are as useful as an ashtray on a Harley enjoy taking the mickey out of him by saying he hasn’t got all four paws on the mouse, but that’s a load of fertilizer! When they start going on like two-pot screamers I get very toey. I do my lolly; chuck a wobbly; spit the dummy and go to town on them: “Fair crack of the whip! Rack off, you no-hopers! You lot couldn’t go two rounds with a revolving door. You’re full of it! Deadset! You’re a mob of drongos!”

There’s a furphy going around that Bluey, when he was a young jackaroo, got a biff to the head by a brumby he was trying to break.  It’s none of my bizzo; I don’t ask questions. I always shout him a couple of coldies. Bluey hasn’t got a lot of moolah, but he does have a kind heart and good manners. His faded blue eyes light up when I hand him his beer. With a smile he mutters: “Ta, dearie! Ya blood’s worth bottlin’!” 

This arvo when Banjo blew into town and into the boozer there was a different air about him.  He still walked as if he had a stallion between his legs; that’ll never change. You know the old saying about the wind changing your face. Well, riding horses does similar to your legs. You could fly a jumbo jet between Banjo’s legs with room for a Cessna, too!  Years being head ringer on a cattle station out the back of Bullamanka or wherever it is he shoots through to; somewhere out the back o’Bourke beyond the black stump, 50ks south, north or west of Woop Woop - you get my drift – astride a horse every day will do that to you. When you see a dusty old green ute rumbling down the main drag you know it’s Banjo. Lee Kernaghan blaring forth from the ute is a dead give-away, too.

 “Owyagoin’, Banjo?” I asked. “Do ya wanna crack a tinnie and chew the fat a while?”
Crikey! He stared at me as if I was some kind of galah.

“Nope,” he replied, happy as a pig in mud while I stood there looking like a stunned mullet. “Just a pot, please luv, then I’ll ‘ave to hit the frog ‘n toad.” 

 Holy-dooly! Blow me down!  You could’ve knocked me over with a feather, but I kept my gob shut other than to say, “No dramas!” 

Gulping down his beer Banjo wiped the froth from his lips: “Not to big note…I got meself a Sheila. She’s from the Top End,” he said, proud as Punch, a broad smile on his dial. “As soon as I pour this down the hatch I’ll be off like a bucket of prawns in the midday sun! I need to go tart meself up!” 

 “Good Onya, Banjo!”  I grinned. “Happy Australia Day!”

Spinach-Feta Damper: Preheat oven 200C. Dust baking tray with plain flour. Place 3c S.R. flour and 100g chilled, chopped butter in a bowl. Use fingertips (your own) to rub butter into flour until mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs; stir in 200g crumbled feta, 1c shredded parmesan and 60g coarsely chopped spinach leaves. Add 2/3c milk and 1 lightly whisked egg. Stir until well combined; turn onto lightly floured surface. Using hands, bring the dough together; knead 1-2mins or until smooth. Shape into 20cm disc. Place on prepared tray; use sharp knife dipped in flour to score the top into 8 wedges; sprinkle top with 1-1/2tbs shredded parmesan. Bake 35-40mins or until golden and the loaf sounds hollow when tapped on the base. Transfer to a wire rack to cool slightly.

 
BBQ Prawns with Mango-Lime-Mint Dressing: Soak 16 wooden skewers in water 60mins. Cut flesh off 1 peeled, ripe mango; add to blender with juice of 2 limes, 1tbs x-virgin olive oil, 1 long, mild, deseeded green chilli, 1tbs Tamari, 10 mint leaves and 6 coriander leaves; blitz until super smooth; season to taste; transfer to serving dish. Using 16 large green, peeled, tails intact, king prawns - thread one per skewer; place in wide deep baking tray. Whisk together 3tbs Ponzu sauce, juice of 1 lime and pinch salt; pour over prawns; turn over skewers to coat well; cover; marinate in fridge 30-60mins. Cook on super hot griddle pan or barbie until cooked through; serve warm with the sauce on the side. 

Barbecued Prawns with Coriander and Candied Lime Peanuts: Preheat barbie to high.  Grab yourself 16 large green prawns (more if you want); remove the heads from the prawns and de-vein, leaving tails intact.  Brush prawns with oil; cook 2-3mins each side; don’t overcook; set aside; keep warm (the prawns, you drongo, not you)!  Place 2tbs fish sauce, 1/4c caster sugar, 1/4c water and 2 finely chopped Kaffir lime leave into a small frying pan over high heat; bring to boil; add 1 cup roughly chopped raw peanuts; simmer 1-2mins or until thickened. Pour over the prawns; add 1/4c fresh coriander leaves (cilantro); toss to combine; serve with lots of fresh lime wedges and extra coriander.

Spicy BBQ Lamb Chops Tandoori: In a large bowl, mix together 2tbs quality tandoori paste, 1tbs honey and 2tbs natural yoghurt; then add 12 French-trimmed lamb cutlets; turn to coat. Allow to marinate while doing further preparation. Place 700g quartered chat potatoes (baby spuds, unpeeled) in pan of salted water; bring to the boil; cook for 10mins until tender. Heat 2tbs oil in large pan over medium heat; add 2tsp black mustard seeds; cook, stirring, 1min until seeds start to pop; add 2tsp quality curry powder, 1tsp garam masala, 2tsp grated fresh ginger and potatoes; cook, stirring 2-3mins, until potatoes start to crisp. Add 2 seeded tomatoes, cut into thin wedges, and 100g baby spinach leaves; cook 2-3mins until spinach has wilted. Keep warm. Heat about 55ml sunflower oil in pan or in a char-grill over med-high heat. Cook the lamb, 2mins each side until lightly charred and cooked, but sill slightly pink in the centre; serve with the potatoes, mango chutney and extra yoghurt.

Lamingtons: Make the cake: preheat oven 180C/160C fan-forced. Grease a 3cm-deep, 20cm x 30cm base lamington pan; line pan with baking paper, leaving a 2cm over-hang on all sides. Using an electric mixer, beat 125g softened butter, 1c caster sugar and 1/2tsp vanilla extract until light and fluffy. Add 3 eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition – the mixture might curdle – but that’s okay. Have 1-3/4c self-raising flour on hand.  Sift half of the flour over the butter mixture; stir to combine; add 1/4c milk; stir to combine. Repeat the process with remaining flour and milk; spoon into prepared pan. Smooth top  Bake for 30mins or until skewer inserted in centre comes out clean. Stand in pan (not you…you’ll squash the cake, and burn the soles of your feet!) for 10mins. Turn cake out onto wire rack; cover with tea towel; set aside overnight. Next day cut cake into 15 pieces. Place 2c desiccated coconut in a dish. Make icing: In another bowl add 3-1/2c sifted icing sugar and 1/4c sifted cocoa powder; add 1tbs softened butter and 1/2c boiling water; stir until smooth. Using a fork, dip one piece of cake in icing; shake off excess icing; toss in the coconut to coat all sides. Place on wire rack over baking tray.  Repeat process with remaining cake, icing and coconut. Allow the lamingtons to sit (we’re all tired of standing) for 2 hours or until icing has set; and then bog in! (In other words…eat)!

Australia Day Pavlova: In a small electric mixer bowl, beat 4 room temperature egg whites on medium until soft peaks form. Add 1tsp white vinegar, 2tsp cornflour and gently sprinkle in 1c caster sugar, one teaspoon at a time, beating until stiff and glossy (you will be glossy with sweat and stiff after you finish all this beating), approx 10mins.  Trace a map of Australia onto baking paper; and cut out shape. Place cut-out onto a baking tray; spoon meringue mix inside the map.  Smooth sides and top of meringue with a spatula, leaving the centre slightly hollowed.  Bake in oven at 130C for 1-1/2 hours, or until pavlova is dry to touch.  Turn oven off; leave pavlova to cool in the oven with the oven door ajar.  Once cooled, place pavlova on a serving plate.  Beat 300ml thickened cream with a little icing sugar or caster sugar added, to desired taste (don’t add any sugar if that what you prefer).  Gently spread the whipped cream on top of the meringue; and decorate with fresh fruit, washed and sliced, to your heart’s content.  Whatever fruit you like…sstrawberries, mango, kiwi fruit, passionfruit, banana, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, peaches…let your hair down – go for broke…use your imagination and whatever floats your boat.  You can even top the fruit and pav with some raw, coarsely-crushed/chopped macadamia nuts.