WHO KNOWS? I’VE NOT A CLUE - MAYBE YOU KNOW - I DON’T KNOW!

Audie Murphy - Second World War Hero - and Movie Star Cowboy

When we’re young we think we know everything. When we’re old and grey with our teeth in a jar beside our bed we no longer think we know everything - we know we know everything! You know I’m kidding! You do know that, don’t you?  

Maybe you and I don’t know everything, but I know you know you’ve met some who think they know they do.  I know I have.  Be honest! You know you have.  I bet even you and I have had our moments of glory when we’ve been guilty of a similar transgression.  I know I have; that much I do know; and I should know!

Mrs. Weller, one of our neighbours when I was growing up (I’m still in the process of growing up. It’s a slow, long process. I know many of you can empathise) was a simple, gentle soul. She was a person who never uttered a bad word about anyone, you know. 

Her husband’s name was Audie - “Audie” as in the baby-faced Audie Murphy, the Second World War hero and cowboy movie star . 

Audie Weller was neither, but he was a hero in kind; he was a butcher.  The couple had no children, you know.

Mrs. Weller completed all her sentences, or almost every one of her statements with – “you know”…you know.

Most of the time I didn’t know what she was talking about, but she kept telling me, as well as everyone else within earshot that we all did know.  Mrs. Weller never took into account perhaps the listener didn’t know. 
You know, I often noticed some captive listeners nod pretending they knew; perhaps some did know - I don’t know.

You know how frustrating it can be when you’re relating a story about which only you know the details because you personally played a part in the story you’re narrating, and the person to whom you’re telling your tale insists on interrupting frequently,  talking over you, and then practically taking over as if they already know the story!  It’s as if they participated in the actual event and they know more about it than you do!   

How can they know?  They weren’t there!  When I find myself in such a situation I end up shutting my mouth and let the other person continue on his/her all-knowing way. It easier to do so because it becomes obvious what I knew I knew I didn’t know at all. Much easier and more polite than clonking them over the head, you know!

We also have our “those-in-the-know” - the “faucet experts” aka “experts’ – the drips under pressure; those who love to tell us what they know.

You and I know they learned what they know from someone else who learned it from another in the know, and so on down the line until it reaches you and me.  Sometimes it’s all made up just to cover up what they really don’t know!

A current fad that’s being shoved down our throats (because the “experts” know what’s good for us; not, of course, because they’re making a mint from it) is the Paleo Diet aka the Caveman Diet; a diet based on what our ancient ancestors ate.  If Paleo is so great how come the life expectancy of humans nowadays is much longer than it was in said ancestors’ day?

Those-in- the-know who know everything about Paleo tell me I shouldn’t indulge in dairy products. Tough cheddar! I’m not relinquishing milk or cheese for any caveman! He can go wave his club elsewhere!

I’m told to give up wheat, rye, canary seed (I’ve never eaten canary seed; I know I’m pretty chirpy without it), barley, legumes, processed oils, potatoes etc., etc; an endless list that goes on and on.

I’ll have you know I’m not giving up olive oil, either!

One Paleo exponent said he realised how bad an early breakfast of boiled potatoes made him feel, so he gave up having them.  Who has boiled potatoes for breakfast? I don’t know anyone who does.  Do you know anyone who has boiled potatoes for breakfast? 

I know those-in-the-know believe they know, but I also know I don’t have to believe everything they insist on telling me they know.  I do know I don’t have to blindly follow them…you know what I mean.

Rump Steak with Salsa Verde: Using 400g of a variety of tomatoes cut large ones in half; leave smaller ones whole; place in shallow dish. Combine 1tbs x-virgin oil, 25sp red wine vinegar and 1/4c caster sugar; season; shake well; add to tomatoes; gently toss. Salsa Verde: Process until finely chopped 1c firmly packed flat-leaf parsley, 1/2c firmly packed basil leaves, 1/4c firmly packed mint leaves, 1tbs drained capers, 2 chopped gherkins and 1tbs Dijon mustard; transfer to bowl; add 1-1/2tsp white wine vinegar, 1/4c x-virgin olive oil and 1tbs cold water; stir. Oil grill or pan; heat on med-high; season 650g rump steak with cracked pepper; cook 4-5mins each side for medium or as preferred. Add salad leaves to tomato; toss. Serve sliced steak with salsa verde and salad.

Red Lentil-Crusted Goat Cheese Salad: Combine 3/4c al dente cooked red lentils, 1 cup each cooked brown and green lentils in bowl; add 5 spears of cooked broccolini, roughly chopped, 1 sliced endive head, 2tbs x-virgin olive oil, 1tbs red wine vinegar; season; set aside 30-60mins. Place 1/4c cooked red lentils on tray; roll 270g goat cheese, sliced into 6x2-inch slices in lentils to coat; place into baking pan. Halve a ruby grapefruit; separate segments from one half.  Whisk together juice from other half with juice of 1 lime and 1/8c x-virgin olive oil; add segments; season. Distribute lentils onto 6 plates. Just before serving, heat cheese slices 3-5mins in 175C oven until warm, not melting; place on lentils; drizzle with vinaigrette.

Mashed Potato Puffs: Heat oven to 200C; lightly grease cups of mini-muffin tin (either a 12 or 24 cups). Whisk together 2 cups mashed potatoes, 3 large beaten eggs, 3/4c grated Parmesan or Gruyere, ¼ chopped chives or finely-chopped shallots and 1/4c diced cooked bacon or ham (optional); season to taste. Spoon mounds of mixture in each muffin cup; sprinkle tops with some of the grated cheese. Bake 20mins or until set, browned on top and hot through. Cool in pan 5mins, then gently release from the pan; serve immediately with dollops of sour cream, if desired.

Potato-Brie Frittata: Grab 150g Brie; slice thinly; set aside until later. Preheat oven, 180C. Lightly grease (or spray) 20x30cm lamington pan; line base and two long sides with baking paper; allow sides to hang over. Boil 3 halved desiree potatoes (about 600g). Peel them if you prefer…I never peel potatoes. Cook 10-15mins or until just tender; drain and set aside a few minutes to cool a bit. Heat 1tsp olive oil in non-stick pan over medium heat; add 1 halved, thinly sliced red onion; cook, stirring occasionally, 5mins or until onion softens. Using a fork, whisk together 8 eggs, 1/2c sour cream and 2tbs finely chopped fresh chives; season with salt and pepper. Thinly slice the potato; arrange half of the spuds in a single layer over the base of the lined pan; top with half the onion; then arrange half of the thinly sliced Brie over the onion; repeat the layers with remaining potato, onion and Brie. Pour over the eggs; bake in oven, 30min or until golden and just set; set aside approx 30mins to cool. Using serrated knife, cut frittata into squares to serve.

Kidney Bean Casserole: In pan sauté until tender, 3/4c chopped onion, 1/3c chopped green capsicum (pepper), 1/3c chopped celery and 2 minced large garlic cloves. Add 910g drained canned red kidney beans (or a combination of kidney beans, chickpeas, cannelloni…whatever takes your fancy along those lines), 1c peeled chopped fresh tomatoes, 1 can diced tomatoes, 1tbs tomato paste, ¼ chicken or vegetable stock, 1/2tsp chilli powder/flakes, pepper and a dash of hot sauce. Cover; cook 15mins. Spoon 2c cooked long grain brown rice into bottom of lightly greased casserole dish; spread bean mixture over rice.  Sprinkle grated cheese over the bean mix. Place in preheated 190C oven for approximately 15mins…until bubbling and cheese is golden.

One of the Best Smoothies I Know: Blend 1 kiwi fruit, 1 banana, 1/2c blueberries, 1c strawberries, 1c raspberries, 1/2c orange juice and 1c yoghurt or milk. You know what to do next!
Even if you don't know...I do know that Chapter 10 of my seemingly unending story..."Music to My Ears...To All the Cats I've Loved Before..." etc., etc., will follow this post...