Thursday, June 11, 2015

OOPS! FLY IN-FLY OUT…OR FLY BY THE SEAT OF YOUR PANTS!


Bill Bailey is the one on the left....
Top End street junction of Brunswick Street, Fortitude Valley...
Fortitude Valley Circa 1960
Queen Street, Brisbane Circa 1969
Queen Street, Brisbane - Circa mid-Sixties


British comedian/ actor/musician Bill Bailey was a guest on “The Graham Norton Show” a few weeks ago. During his time on the show he related a story to the amusement of his fellow guests, his host and the audience.  

While out driving one day Bailey was stationary at a stop sign when out of nowhere an elderly woman (not me) opened his car door and climbed into his car. Settling into the seat the lady directed Bailey to drive her to a certain address. Bill said he had nothing else to do so he drove the lady to her destination.   

That’s taking “Won’t you come home Bill Bailey” literally, don’t you think?

A similar situation happened to a friend of mine in Brisbane back in the Sixties.  

At the time my friend Nancy worked in the offices of the “Truth”, a Sunday newspaper in days of yore, the premises of which were at the south-western corner of Brunswick and McLachlan Streets, Fortitude Valley.

During her lunch hour, as was her wont, Nancy visited Queen Street, the main street of the CBD, a couple or so kilometres from The Valley.  Those were the days long before Queen Street became a pedestrian-only shopping mall. Trams, buses, cars, trucks and other modes of transport (not horse and buggy) still bustled busily along the inner-city street.   

The noon-day clock was ticking at a rapid rate of tocks. 

Nancy's lunch hour was expiring. She needed to be back at work. Sweat (perspiration…she was a lady) formed on her forehead in her anxiety.  She jumped into a cab – after flinging open its door – and breathlessly asked the driver to take her to the newspaper's address in The Valley.  As the car pulled out and headed off in the direction of The Valley Nancy noticed the driver’s shoulders were shaking uncontrollably.   

At first she thought he was in the throes of a fit.  In a way he was - he was in fits of laughter.   

The man wasn’t a cabbie; he was private citizen going about his business when a frazzled stranger climbed into his car demanding, albeit politely, for him to take her to the address she’d hurriedly blurted out. 

It soon became obvious the driver was a gentleman; one who appreciated the funny side of the situation in which he’d innocently found himself.  Good-naturedly the driver attempted to placate his crazed passenger while, en route, an embarrassed Nancy apologised non-stop for her rash behaviour. 

She made it back to work – just in time! “Two for the Valley!” taken literally!

Nancy had a penchant for embarrassing moments. 

Another fateful day, with her macramé bag clasped firmly in her hand, she scurried along Queen Street trying to beat the unbeatable clock.  Her string bag swung freely in the breeze caused by her haste. Suddenly she was yanked backwards.  Her bag had snagged on something. Tugging to no avail, Nancy turned. To her abject horror she discovered her shameless bag had indiscriminately latched onto the zip of a blushing, unsuspecting man’s trousers!  Fumbling then ensued between two strangers in Queen Street in the height of the lunch hour rush; two strangers who hoped they’d never meet again - not in the night and, most definitely not in daylight!

Was it a case of fly-in-fly-out, or lunch on the fly?  Perhaps instead of fly-by-night, it was a fly-by-lunch. Lay-by would’ve been less awkward.   

A few months passed before Nancy was brave enough to make a re-appearance in Queen Street. She prepared her lunch at home. From then on for a while, Nancy ate her self-prepared lunch while glued to her work desk; it was a safer and less mortifying  way.

Lunch-On-the-Run Slice: Preheat oven 180C. Grease 30x20cm slice tray. In pan heat 1-2tbs olive oil over med-heat; cook 2 crushed garlic cloves, 4 chopped, rind-less bacon rashers and 1 finely chopped onion until onion begins to caramelize and bacon starts to crisp; remove from heat. In bowl, combine 450g grated zucchini, 200g ricotta, 1/2c grated parmesan, 1/4c chopped chives/shallots, salt and pepper. In a bowl, combine 6 eggs and 1c S.R. flour until smooth. Add bacon mix to zucchini mix; pour in the egg mixture; fold to combine well; pour into baking tray; bake 40-50mins; cut into slices.

Spinach-Cheese Rolls: Preheat oven 200C. Finely chop and cook 1 spinach bunch; drain; squeeze out excess liquid. Combine with ½ onion, finely chopped; blend with hand-mixer to thick paste; add 1tb cream cheese or soy cream cheese, 1tbs minced garlic, 1c plain flour, salt and pepper; mix well. Cut 4 sheets partially-thawed puff pastry sheets in half; spoon 1/3rd to ½ cup mix down short end of pastry; carefully roll up; repeat process; place on greased tray; spray with olive oil; bake until golden.

Chicken Salad: Combine 1/2c orange juice, 1tbs grated orange zest, 1tsp olive oil, 1/2ts ground ginger, 1tsp honey and 1/4tsp cumin; add 2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts; marinate 1-2hrs. Preheat oven 190C; remove chicken from marinade; place on baking dish; discard marinade. Sprinkle freshly-ground black pepper over chicken; bake 25-30mins. Toss together some mixed greens, 1/2c thinly sliced red capsicum, a few red onion slices, 1/3c thinly sliced cucumber and 1/4c toasted pecans. Whisk together a dressing – 1/3c orange juice, 2tbs olive oil, salt and pepper to taste (keep in separate bottle if taking salad to work). Add chicken to salad; sprinkle over some dried cranberries; drizzle with dressing when ready to serve.

28 comments:

  1. Oops. I think that my blushes would have started a fire in the city...
    Some people attract those situations don't they. And some of us cope with them better than others. Count me on the not coping very well side.

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  2. Hahahaha! I'm sure you'd cope just fine, EC. I laugh every time I think about Nancy's moments of horror....even after all these years.

    Thanks for coming by. :)

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  3. I often fly by the seat of my pants but to fly by the seat of someone else's pants what a hoot. but not so deftly as the two folks you mentioned. Love the photos with all the old cars from back in the day.

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    1. Just be careful waving your string bag around while walking, Linda! You never know what you'll catch! :)

      Thanks for popping in. :)

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  4. We call that sort of thing "car-jacking" around these parts, and some people get plumb upset over it.

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    1. It's not car-jacking if the driver is very considerate and willingly takes you to where you want to go, Jerry! You just have to know how to pick your mark! lol

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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    2. Arlynda has always said that I often miss the mark. Sigh.

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  5. Queen Street Brisbane 1969, when dresses were recognisably dresses. Not like those bits of cloth seen on catwalks and red carpets these days.

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    1. But they were the days of mini-skirts and hot pants, River. And we sure did love wearing them! :)

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  6. Replies
    1. She sure did have a knack, Arleen...a very blatant one! lol

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  7. Gosh your food always looks so wonderful - do you cook like that now or before? That comedian I have never heard of but he looks like h e'd be funny with that face.

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    1. Hi Sandy...the recipes given a simple...simple but tasty. I don't get too carried away these days.. Naturally when I was cooking in commercial kitchens things were slightly more elaborate, but the simpler the better for me now...as long as it's still tasty and healthy. That's what matters.

      Bill Bailey is an English entertainer...he was in a TV sit-com...a really crazy funny one called - "Black Books". I loved that show. Dylan Moran, and Irish comedian was the headliner in it.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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    2. BTW....They're not pictures of food I've prepared, Sandie. :)

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  8. I have been trying to figure out how a macramé bag got caught in some man's zipper if that zipper was properly zipped! Still can't figure it.

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    1. G'Day, Mountain Thyme...seeing you've taken a lot of time in trying to figure it out...I'll help you...the string.twine/wool (or whatever her open-weave shopping bag was made from...I never did see the wanton bag) in Nancy's bag (probably similar to the one pictured above...open, loose weave) latched on to the tag at the top of the zip on the man's fly...the little flappy thingie...I'm still referring to the zipper here...the tag one holds onto to open a zipper. When the zipper flies open the fly in a man's trousers opens.

      I hope my convoluted explanation helps you in some way in figuring it out. You could, of course, try it, hands-on...or bag-on...but if you do, and you find yourself in a similar situation...please don't mention my name! lol

      Thanks for popping in...sorry for the confusion! :)

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  9. I'm missing out Brisbane on my world tour!!!!!

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    1. You'll be safe if you just wear your trakkie-daks, Adullamite...or, if not, you could just walk backwards up Queen Street...that should keep you out of harm's (or Nancy's) way.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  10. Living "across the ditch", you have such a gift for story telling that I'm tempted to grab my blanket and pop a thumb in my mouth.

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    1. Hey there LJ....you made me laugh...thanks.....be ready to snuggle...I have more to tell!

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  11. "The Truth" seems a very inappropriate name for a newspaper. Better for it to have been called "The Lies" or "The Load of Old Tripe". Poor Nancy - having to fumble with a man's zipper in order to retrieve her stylish macrame bag. That is one helluva way to hook a man. I wonder what your preferred tactic was Lee? Perhaps a nice bag of iced voo-voos and you yelling "Here boy!"

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  12. And you think that I'd give away my secrets so easily, Yorky?

    However, I'll tell you this much...I used more subtle methods than a swinging string bag...even in the Swinging Sixties! ;)

    I learned early in the piece that iced vo-vos and yelling out "Here boy!" had no effect whatsoever; the reverse actually. Now...when it came to ginger nuts...that was another thing...

    Thanks for coming by. :)

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    1. Ginger nuts? You liked red headed men then?

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    2. Re-read my first sentence in my response above, Yorky!

      Go and take a walk and bring me back some photos! lol

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  13. That's truly funny - I could see how that taxi thing could happen though.

    And I always get so hungry when I read your blog!

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    1. G'day Lynn....Nancy, her husband and young daughter lived in the unit above my first husband and me when we first married. They were a lovely couple and if you knew Nancy...it makes the story even funnier. She was quite an innocent in many ways. I mean that nicely. :)

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  14. I love Bill Bailey, and I can picture him doing that!

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    1. Hi RK...yep...he's a character! lol

      Cheers...thanks for coming by. :)

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