Sunday, January 03, 2016

THE ROYAL HOUSE OF WINDSOR IS NOT FOR ME!



Windsor Hotel...and Windsor Hotel Lobby
Lunch, anyone?


A foreword...some thought my previous post a little lengthy to waste time upon reading, believing it to be more a Reader's Digest version of "Gone With the Wind" than a blog post...so to ease the pain...this post is much shorter...even shorter if you don't read the recipes; or if you read the recipes and not the content...whichever is to your taste!  

(By the way...don't mistake the pictures to the right of this page...I'm the one shown in the lower picture)!

The Royal House of Windsor may not be for me, or them for me (we mix in different circles, squares, rectangles and piazzas); and neither is the noble, luxury, notable, exalted Hotel Windsor in Melbourne, but that didn’t stop me from entering its elaborate doors during a business trip to the southern city in the mid 80s.

It wouldn’t have felt right to frequent Melbourne’s nightlife and not have made an appearance at the Hotel Windsor.

After all, the legendary hotel had been the hang-out of previous illustrious, celebrated guests such as Maggie Thatcher, Meryl Streep, Gregory Peck, Larry Olivier and Vivien Leigh.

Those other three Dames - Melba, Sutherland and Fonteyn graced its halls...why not me? 

The Duke and Duchess of York (both of whom unexpectedly had to change outfits and their address when he became King George Vl, and the Duchess, having little other choice, eventually the “Queen Mum”) also sipped and supped at the Windsor.

As did Rudolph Nureyev and Sir Robert Helpmann in between doing high leaps and arabesques; and, so help me, did Katharine Hepburn and Lauren Bacall, as well many other famous people.

One time or the other while in Melbourne on a business trip I arranged to dine with some resort guests to whom I’d played “hostess with the mostest” on Hinchinbrook Island a few months earlier.  My dinner guests had, in their own ways, been lots of fun during their time spent lazing leisurely at the resort.

On the particular night of the Windsor escapades my companions were husband and wife, David and Margaret; and Dennis, a clever chappy who was heading off for a stint at Oxford University shortly after our dining sojourn. David was a plastic surgeon.

One morning, while he was a guest at the resort David proved his knife skills when he operated on a couple of fresh fish he’d caught only an hour or two earlier. 

He asked my permission for him to use the resort’s kitchen. In turn I asked my chef for his permission for David to step foot into his hallowed domain, because he, David, wanted to prepare ceviche.  My chef, also named “David”, said it was peachy for guest David to make ceviche.

Dennis was academically-inclined in one direction or another.  Not being academically-minded myself I can’t remember in what field Dennis roamed; but it definitely wasn’t a wheat field, that much I do remember.

Dressed up to the nine and halves the four of us entered the Hotel Windsor’s stately, rejuvenated lounge bar. Once comfortably seated around a table we placed our drinks’ order with an appropriately-attired drink waiter. I swear he clicked his heels to attention when he reached our table. 

The atmosphere in the lounge was pompously “stiff-upper-lip”. Perhaps the staff had been patients of David’s and had received a few jabs of Botox or ear tucks.  Even the slightest hint of a smile was indiscernible.

Befitting the sedate atmosphere in which the other patrons whispered as if planning a heist, when placing the order in a hushed tone, I’d asked for a top-shelf single malt Scotch for me.

Looking at the whisky placed before me it was obvious there wasn’t a water shortage in Melbourne that year! My Scotch was swimming raised eyebrow-deep in water!

Without making a fuss, I subtly slipped money to the waiter as I politely and quietly asked him to add another nip to my glass.

In the spirit of the occasion my aim was to taste the spirit, not have only a puny hint of a whiff waft past my nostrils; particularly seeing the whisky (that I couldn’t see) was a quality aged single malt. 

Red alert! You’d swear I’d morphed into Rasputin!

The waiter’s already rigidly formal demeanor stiffened even further; something I’d thought would’ve been impossible to have achieved! 

It was obvious housekeeping was missing a broom - it was glued to his spine (or elsewhere, but I’m too polite to say where)!

With pursed mouth, his nose turned even higher towards the Windsor’s lofty ceiling. I cared not for his puckering and pursing.  He could pucker, huff and puff all he liked, but payment of my drink and those of my guests came from my purse - I expected to receive what I’d paid for.

 My guests and I had many anecdotes to share. Lively laughter emanated from our table. As soon as we finished our drinks we decided the Windsor’s staid ambience and our happy, animated mood didn’t blend.  We headed off to somewhere more receptive to our festive spirits.

I think even the Windsors of Buckingham Palace would’ve been less reserved than the Hotel Windsor and its staff!

The majestic old hotel, built in 1884, has had many facelifts over the years, not unlike some of David’s clients, I imagine. 

Scallop & Kingfish Ceviche: Place 16 scallops, without roe, very thinly sliced, 220g kingfish or other firm-fleshed, fresh white fish, very thinly slice and ¾ cup lime juice in a large bowl; toss gently to combine. Cover with plastic wrap; marinate in the fridge for 30 minutes. Drain seafood through a sieve; discard marinade. Place seafood in a bowl. Add 1 long green chilli, seeded, very thinly sliced, ½ red onion, very thinly sliced, 1c baby coriander leaves, 1 Lebanese cucumber, very thinly sliced lengthways and 2 radishes, very thinly sliced. Season to taste with salt and pepper; toss gently to combine. Divide ceviche among plates, then drizzle with a little ex-virgin olive oil. Serve with toasted sourdough baguette..

Victoria Sponge: Grease and line 20cm round cake tin. Set aside 225g S.R. flour and 4 eggs.  Cream 225g butter, 225g caster sugar and 1/4tsp vanilla until fluffy. Add 1 beaten egg and 1tbs of the flour to the butter/sugar; beat together until all eggs are used; fold in rest of flour with metal spoon. Pour into tin. Bake in 180C oven, 40-50mins until cake springs back when pressed gently. Turn out onto rack. Slice cooled cake in half horizontally; fill with raspberry or strawberry jam, and then Buttercream:- beat 110g icing sugar into 50g softened butter until well combined; add 2 drops vanilla. Put other half of cake on top; sprinkle with caster sugar.

Windsor Wedding Cake: Grease and line 9-inch tin (or spring-form). Crush Rich Tea Biscuits to almond-size and crumbles; add chopped glacé cherries, 56g raisins and chopped nuts, if desired; set aside. Melt 110g butter, 400g condensed milk and 150g chocolate over low; pour over biscuit mix; stir to combine; pour into tin. Freeze 2-3hrs; take from freezer 2-3hrs before serving. Melt 150g chocolate; spread over cake. Flavour cake with whisky, peppermint essence or whatever, if you like.

Royal Raspberry Cake: Combine 2c plain flour, 1/2tsp salt and 1tbs baking powder. Cream 1/3c butter and 1c sugar until fluffy; beat in 1 room temp egg, 1c room temp milk and 1tsp vanilla; add dry ingredients alternately with milk mix; beat well after each addition. Spread into greased 13x9-inch dish; spoon 3-1/2c fresh or thawed frozen raspberries over top. Bake at 175C, 30-35mins. Cool 5mins. Combine: 1-1/2c icing sugar, 2tbs cream, 2tsp melted butter and vanilla; spread over cake; leave berries exposed.

47 comments:

  1. Always nice to see how the other half (much less than half) lives. And equally nice to leave it to them and return to less rareified air.

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    1. Hey there, EC. I like the less rarefied air...I find it far more relaxing to inhale and exhale...and I like being relaxed. No...correct that...I LOVE being relaxed!

      Thanks for popping in...I hope you're having a good year! :)

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  2. Interesting to visit but think I wouldn't return. A little too pretentious but a great adventure.

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    1. Hi Gail...yes...I'm not really into "pretentious"...but I'm glad to took the opportunity when it was there in front of me.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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    2. We must never miss an opportunity to try something new.

      The bird feeder will be combined and built straight. I wanted a test run to see if the birds will come. Now, to make sure the Hitchcock birds don't flock in...I will have to think on that one!

      Have a blessed weekend.

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  3. I wonder if the Windsor has changed any? When I book online now I always look at what other people are saying about a place on Trip Advisor. It might be fun to have a look at what they are saying about the Windsor in 2015 Lee.

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    1. P.S. if you need help to load up your Laughing Horse award in your sidebar, just drop me a line and I will send you some screen shots.

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    2. Oh, Carol! I thought that was just a joke about putting the Laughing Horse Award on my side bar! lol

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    3. I doubt that the hotel has changed much...I'm sure they're still stiff...and probably stiff you, too...if you know what I mean! lol

      I'm glad I visited the hotel, though...because it does have a lot of history. But we were in such high-spirits that night...very happy and our laughter kind of didn't suit the place...if you know what I mean! ;)

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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    4. Thanks, Carol for your offer...as you can see I put it up...with a notation at the start of this most for people not to mistake who is who in the two pics! ;)

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  4. Can't stand that pompous stuff Lee though the hotel itself looks lovely. Shame when a building is nice but not the staff in it don't you think?
    And yes, you do have to put the Laughing Horse on your side bar, I have one from last year on mine !

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    1. Helsie...I didn't realise I had to put the horse up...but I now have done so! lol

      Please note my notation at the top of this post...I've just added it...just in case some folk confuse me with the horse! lol

      Neigh, she says...we can't have that happening!!! :)

      The hotel is lovely...but I like feeling at ease...and we were all in such a happy mood...and we were in the wrong place to let our senses of humour run free!!

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  5. Laughing Horse, indeed!
    Windsor is alright with me. We are all different.
    Enjoyed your story as I can see you letting your hair down really well.

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    1. Hi Margaret...don't misunderstand me....the Hotel Windsor is a beautiful old establishment, of that there is no doubt. But we weren't in the mood for a staid atmosphere that evening, so it was best we went to a more light-hearted venue. From memory, I think we ended up in a new Italian restaurant that had opened recently at the time.

      Plus...when I have a scotch...I like to taste the scotch, and more particularly when it's an expensive one!

      We had a great night all around. They were a nice bunch of people with whom to spend an evening. :)

      Thanks for dropping in. :)

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  6. Victoria Sponge! I haven't made one of those since high school cooking class when mine was a failure. Not my fault either. Twenty girls in the class, only five ovens in the home ec room. We all followed the instructions and mixed our batter at the same time, the lucky five who got to the ovens first turned out beautiful cakes. The rest of us baked batter which had been sitting and waiting :(
    The Hotel Windsor looks very posh, way too posh for me. I'm astonished that such a high class establishment would water the whiskey! how dare they?
    I did start to read your last post, a couple of times, but you did say you'd already posted it before, in instalments, so decided not to continue.

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    1. I'm sorry you couldn't be bothered reading my previous story, River. I know it was lengthy having posted the three chapters at once.

      I doubt that you know the story because when I originally posted the chapters a couple or so years ago you weren't reading my blog...but never mind...the world will still rotate.

      The Hotel Windsor didn't water the Scotch...the barman just added too much water to my glass. I asked for Scotch on the Rocks with just a dash of water...not a flood.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  7. Oh dear! I said whiskey instead of scotch and they're not the same thing are they? Or are they? I have no idea.

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    1. http://www.whiskyforeveryone.com/whisky_basics/whisky_or_whiskey.html

      The above site should clear up any confusion, River.

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  8. Oh, yum.
    Happy 2016!

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    1. And the same to you, Lux. I hope you have a wonderful 2016. Thanks for dropping by. :)

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  9. Marvellous! I read that in one day!
    Stuffed shirted places are not for me.

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    1. I'm glad you've taken up speed reading, Mr. Ad-Man!

      I'm with you....stuffed-shirted places and people are not for me, either.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  10. Being a USA, Oklahoman the only famous name I recognized was "Queen Mum".

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    1. Hi Annie...how strange you've not heard of Meryl Streep, Gregory Peck or Vivien Leigh! The latter, of course, played Scarlett O'Hara in "Gone with the Wind".

      That you've never heard of Rudolph Nureyev, the world famous ballet dancer who, arguably was the world's best ever male dancer strikes me as being unbelievable. And not to have heard of Margot Fonteyn, prima ballerina whom Nurevey famously partnered for many years!

      And surely you've heard of Lauren Bacall and Katharine Hepburn!

      And, don't forget...you do recognise me...I visited the Hotel Windsor!!!! ;)

      Thanks for popping in. :)

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  11. If someone else was paying, I would not mind staying at the hotel. However, I might go find a neighborhood bar to have a good drink and a happy bartender to talk the night away.

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    1. Sounds like a good plan, Arleen! What time shall we meet up? :)

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  12. I've printed out the previous post to read at my leisure, you've almost got a book there, 31 pages. Have you ever thought of writing and publishing your memoirs?
    I've read chapters one and two so far.

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    1. My goodness, River! It is almost a book within itself!!! No wonder it's taken people 2015 to 2016 to read it! lol

      I'll send you down a couple of flasks of coffee to see you through! Let's hope you get a few rainy days...and then it'll be a good excuse to waste some time upon! ;)

      Speaking of rain...it's been raining most of today up here...and it's wonderful.

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    2. I have plenty of coffee, don't you worry about that. The story certainly is interesting, I even got out my old map of Australia to find Newbry Island, but I guess it's too small and my map is very old, held together with sticky tape along the folds. it sounds like a wonderful resort, Australian style, not all glitz and glamour like some of the ones you see on TV.
      Lucky you getting some rain. I've seen the weather reports on TV lately, quite a lot of the east is getting rain.

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    3. Newry Island is a little north of Seaforth, River. Seaforth is north of Mackay. The sites below should give you a clearer picture of where Newry Island is.

      The naturalness of the "resort" is why I loved being there, living there, and taking care of it.
      http://www.nprsr.qld.gov.au/parks/newry-islands/

      http://kayaksnthings.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/GoogleEarth_Image11.jpg (You will see Rabbit Island...and then Outer Newry Island....Newry Island is the island (un-named on the map) between Rabbit Island and Outer Newry Island).

      http://kayaksnthings.com/sea-kayaking/rabbit-island-a-lesson-learnt/

      I'm glad you're reading the saga of that Christmas/New Year. :)

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  13. Who cares what others think? It's your blog, and you should write what you like!

    I detest snobbery. It actually makes me laugh.

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    1. Hey there, RK! I hope you had a very enjoyable, peaceful, hassle-free Festive Season.

      I'm with you about snobbery...on both counts! lol

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  14. I can't believe that guy watered your drink down like that! Especially after you had paid for straight scotch.

    The cakes seem simple to make - I'm salivating over the sponge cake and the wedding cake.

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    1. Hey there Lynn...there's nothing worse than having one's drink diluted! When I have an alcoholic drink, I want to taste the alcohol! I love water and I drink lots of it daily, and always have done so;I didn't need to buy it from the Hotel Windsor!!! lol

      Yes, they are simple recipes...so get cracking, girl...you've eaten all your Christmas cake and fruit mince tarts...time for more cake!!!

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  15. I would have loved to been a fly watching a lively group at the stuffy place. Oh what fun to watch such a stiff crew and I would have had a Kitty Justice LOl when the broom fellow got stiffer. Then my fur ness would have been taken to the front door. Peace

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    1. You would've been more than welcome to have joined our party, Miss KItty. You would've enjoyed the evening and the folk involved. We had a great night...lots of laughter shared with good people.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  16. Whenever I drink whiskey (Irish) or whisky (Scottish), I always have it neat. Any dilution whatsoever - with ice, water or anything else just seems wrong to me. I am surprised that The Hotel Windsor allowed you through the front door. It's a bit like Eliza Doolittle attending a high society London party.

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    1. I was brung up well, Yorks, and tort not to speek through me nose; to not speak with a high-pitched, squeaky tone; not to sound like an Aussie wanker.

      I can mix it with the best of 'em (and I can mix a drink better than that waiter at the Windsor).

      When and if the occasion pops up,I can lift meself high above the hoi polli and become hoity-toity along with the best of 'em.

      I speek the Queen's English, probably as good as Liz does, with a slightly deeper tone than 'ers. When a King steps to sit on the throne, I'll 'ave ya know I'll speak the King's English pretty damn good, too, in a slightly lighter tone.

      By the way, each one of us in our party of four was dressed very well (something about which, personally, I've always prided myself).

      Gee whiz, mate...I 'ad me best, favourite rubber thongs on (you call 'em "flip-flops" up your way; I'd had them for 10 years and wore 'em everywhere! And I'd even ironed me boardies. Me new t-shirt even had "Up Youse! Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Oi! Oi! Oi!" printed in large letters across its front!

      The Hotel Windsor had no choice but to allow us through the front door. They knuckled under the moment they saw the sledge hammers in our 'ands. We also left through the front door, unescorted. All bodies were accounted for. They didn't check our backpacks for glasses or ashtrays, either...which was just as well!

      Fair dinkum, cobber! You do like to stir things up a bit! Ta for dropping in...'tho, I dunno why I'm thankin' ya! :)

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    2. PS...I do know the difference between "whisky" and "whiskey"! lol

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    3. Oh dear, I appear to have touched a sensitive nerve there Sheila.

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    4. Hahahahaha! At least you're a SNAG...a sensitive new age guy to have picked up on it, cobber!

      You'd better watch out...Australia Day is coming up soon and we toss snags on the barbie! lol

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  17. Well Lee I just had a whirlwind trip to Melbourne. Next time I must pass through these doors. Victoria sponge. Yum! And the ambiance looks rather good, too.

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    1. It's a lovely old hotel, Denise...lots of history and definitely worth a visit or two. Next time you're in Melbourne you must go there.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  18. Housekeeping was missing a broom, so funny!!
    I ADORE Victoria sponge, I have only had it in England but I think it is truly heavenly!
    That hotel looks very beautiful but I have to steer away from places like that, it looks like they would charge you just to walk in the door!!

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    1. Hey there Kay.

      I steer away from such places, too. Back then, however, it was a business trip I was on and some...just some...of my expenses were part of the trip. That night wasn't of course...it was a night of sheer pleasure shared with a couple of friends.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  19. The Windsor is a bit of an icon - although I think there has been some controversy about development plans.

    Cheers - Stewart M - Melbourne

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    1. Hi Stewart...I hope they don't modernise it too much...I hope they manage to hold onto the ambience...that's what it's all about.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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