Saturday, December 16, 2017

CRASHING DOWN TO EARTH...WITH AN ALMIGHTY THUD! OUCH!



A section of the western view as I drive along Main
Western Road en route to our local supermarket, IGA

I’m a broken, wounded woman...hurt to the core, and beyond.  I may never recover.  One thing about which I’m certain...the recuperation period will be lengthy.
  
Lost in my thoughts - it could be said by many (including me) I was living in a fool’s paradise - minding my own business while strolling along IGA’s aisles tossing (carefully) this and that into my supermarket trolley, stopping here and there for a cheerful “G’day” to the usual suspects
.
Upon reaching my destination, I shared pleasantries with the lovely young lass who had, having checked out my ladened trolley, thoughtfully opened a checkout to help ease my load. 

My morning had been progressing along a satisfactory, hassle-free path, when suddenly words, uttered loud enough for me (and others) to hear in reference to my own good, innocent self, caused me to abruptly hurtle, at a rapid rate of knots, back down to earth with an almighty crash. 

The words directed toward me were words of the kind that sometimes can be an unwanted, unwelcome, rude awakening...the reality of reality.  Life, and those in it, can be, at times, so cruel; so thoughtless.

My spirit was crushed like a trodden-upon grape when hearing a markedly succinct voice, rather loudly, not unlike that of a Town Crier, declare, for all the world to hear, something along the lines...”When is that OLD lady going to be finished...”  - words to that effect.  Maybe it was - “OLD woman”.  The rest became indistinct after the word - “old”!

Harrumph! 

Hearing the explicit, impossible-to-ignore statement, and knowing to whom it referred, I spun around to face my heartless detractor.

Spontaneously, I burst into laughter.  Actually, I’d begun laughing before turning around.
  
Swinging on the guard rail, oblivious to the distress he’d caused –no wonder I have grey hair - was a little boy of around four years, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. 

It’s no secret I turned a year older in early November, but there was no need for him to pour vinegar onto the wound, and then rub salt into it! 

The young fellow was shopping with his grandmother, who was – is - younger than I am.  Perched in the trolley was his little sister who was along for the ride.  Fortunately for me, she’s not yet a fluent talker.  She was looking on with interest, though...probably making mental notes.

I promised the little bloke I’d stick around for another 70 or so years, just to have the satisfaction of repaying him in kind.  I’d toss similar words back at him when coming upon him at a checkout!  That’ll teach him!

Amid my laughter, I asked him what Santa was going to bring him for Christmas.   Well, that surely opened the floodgates.  Thenceforth, I couldn’t shut him up!

My laughter continued as I walked towards where my car was parked.  The grandmother greeted me as she passed by to place her trolley in its respective parking bay.  Chuckling, she, too, was still highly amused by the checkout vignette.  We exchanged pleasantries. 

As I loaded my groceries into said vehicle, my amusement persisted, and it continued, unabated, on my drive home. 

The happy little bloke made my day...he’d made my week. 

Out of the mouths of babes...you can’t help but love kids.  They are a joy...even if unfiltered.

A week or so following this” distressing incident”, the grandmother and I passed each other in one of IGA’s aisle, and we paused to chat.  Again, I burst into laughter, as did she.   

Naturally, the little bloke was the centre of our conversation.  She told me that later in the day of his supermarket outburst when his mother arrived home from work, she had  paid a visit to her hairdresser during the day.  She came hair with a new hairdo and hair colour.  Her hair was blue, different to the colour it was when she'd left home that morning.  

Upon seeing his mother’s new appearance, the little fellow blurted out – “You’re old!”

His mother is 37!   So, there is hope for me yet.....

While on the subject of age....

One is never too old to learn.  Sometimes I regret I never went to university when I was younger.    

The times I regret not attending uni are when I read articles like the one I read in “The Australian” newspaper the other day.  At this ancient age I am I’ve only now learned flies are unhygienic - that a fly’s legs and wings are bacteria-ridden! 

Who would’ve thunk it?   

Researchers from the Pennsylvania State University, Singapore’s Nanyang Technological University and the Federal University of Rio De Janeiro have alerted ignoramuses like me to this world-shattering news.  Through their tireless, in-depth researches they’ve found this to be the case.   

I’m speechless...almost!   

I knew I should’ve extended my education by attending university.  If I’d done so – if I’d swatted long and hard - way before now I may have known the truth about the airborne, dirty, little critters that transport many harmful species of bacteria dangerous to humans.   ****

Yep! One is never too old to learn....or to laugh...

Gingerbread Sandwich: Cream 3/4c butter and 1 packed cup brown sugar until light and fluffy; add 1 egg and 3/4c molasses. Combine 4c plain flour, 2tsp mixed spice,1-1/2tsp baking soda, 1-1/4tsp ground ginger and 1/4tsp salt; gradually add to creamed mixture; mix well. Cover; chill 2hrs or until easy to handle. On lightly floured surface, roll dough to 1/8-inch thickness. Cut with a floured 3-inch tree-shaped cutter. Place 2-inches apart on un-greased baking sheets. Gently press mini M&Ms into half of biscuits.  Bake at 160C, 8-10mins.  Cool completely on wire racks. Make icing, and tint green, if desired. Spread over plain half of biscuits; top with decorated halves; store in fridge.

Peppermint Christmas Slice: Grease and line an 18cmc28cm rectangular slice tray.  Place 240g finely crushed Marie biscuits into bowl; stir in 2tbs cocoa powder.  Melt 300g sweetened condensed milk, 100g butter and 200g block peppermint chocolate; pour onto crushed biscuits; add 1-2 drops peppermint essence; mix well. Spread into baking tray. Pour 250g melted milk chocolate over top; decorate with 5 chopped candy canes and M&Ms; chill minimum 3-4hrs.  Allow slice to come to room temp before cutting into pieces; store in airtight container up to 5 days. 

Chocolate-Nutella Candy Caners: Stir together 2-1/4 unsifted plain flour, 1tsp baking soda and 1/2tsp salt. Beat butter 1/4c unsalted butter and 1/2c Nutella with 3/4c sugar and 3/4packed cup of brown sugar until creamy. Add 2tsp vanilla and 2 eggs, one at a time, mixing on low speed until incorporated. Gradually blend dry mixture into creamed mixture. Stir in 295g semi-sweet choc chips and 1/2c candy cane pieces. Drop by tablespoon onto un-greased baking sheets. Bake at 190C 9-11mins until golden brown.

Rudolph Knows: Moisten glass rims; dip into green sanding sugar; add cranberry juice to halfway; fill up with ginger ale. Add ice cube and a strawberry. It’ll sleigh you!


**** I do hope you realise I am being facetious...tongue-in-cheek...re my newly-acquired knowledge about flies!!!!

31 comments:

  1. Learning and laughter sound pretty good to me. And this week I am certainly older than dirt. Older than very old dirt.

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    Replies
    1. Hey, EC....We need more laughter...and lately I've certainly felt I've needed it!

      Thanks for coming by. :)

      Delete
  2. As you said, out of the mouths of babes. My niece once asked my partner why he is so wrinkly. Another niece asked her mother, why are you so big and J (her other mother) small? They are the same height but the similarity ends there.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Andrew...the pure innocence of a child...it's quite wonderful.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

      Delete
  3. As kids they're so cute! but then they grow into rude adults, unless home and school detect the ones with "potential" and try hard to educate them.

    Flies do indeed carry bacterias, so do plants (the Christmas tree too), and of course cats and dogs. There are no lovers of flies among us, but the lovers of plants and pets should know that and beware.

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    1. Oh, this little boy wasn't being rude or cheeky, DUTA...he was a little sweetie. A joy and....honest! lol

      Thanks for coming by. :)

      Delete
  4. I thought someone was going to complain you were up at the register before others; what a hoot, sweet little boy he was; and now you can commiserate with his grandmother. ha.

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    1. G'day, Linda...it really was a special moment....he was a pure joy. :)

      Thanks for coming by. :)

      Delete
  5. But if you had been at university you would not have been studying entomology or bacteriology. You would have probably been studying English, Philosophy, Australian History or Cookery. By now you would have been Professor George, jetting all over the world to give guest lectures and writing lengthy books such as "Cultural Diversity and Social Dynamics on Hinchinbrook Island" and "The History of Gingerbread".

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    Replies
    1. I know, Yorkie....I realise now studying either would have helped me so much with my cookery studies.

      Oh, well....I lost my chance. It's too late now to cry over spilled milk (the flies are having a whale of a time wading in it), but at least, finally, I've learned about the wicked ways of the dastardly little critters!

      There are no flies on me re social dynamics, though...on or off islands.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

      Delete
  6. Flies are unhygenic? You mean after crawling all over garbage and dog poop and manure piles on farms they aren't squeaky clean? Thats amazing. As to being called out in public over getting older...there really is only one acceptable response and that is laughter (and the hope that the perpetrator swallows one of those unhygenic flies lol.

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    1. I know, Delores...it's almost unbelievable, isn't it? We learn something new every day. Our education was sadly lacking until those studies throughout the world were conducted, apparently! Did I give a spray when I read that!!! :)

      I'd love to see that little boy again. He was a cutie.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  7. Greetings from the UK. Good luck to you and your endeavours.

    Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

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    1. Thank you and same to you, Andrew. :)

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  8. We do need to laugh more - I think our health does better. I made a lot of desserts for Christmas and I am eating way too much!!!!!!!!!

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    1. That we do, Sandie. Laughter is great....and even better when spontaneous...unexpected.

      Christmas desserts and special treats are great, too...and eating them even better!! :)

      Thanks for coming by. :)

      Delete
  9. So wonderful to read your post and to know you can laugh - isn't it wonderful to have a good sense of humour.
    My youngest son is so very old according to his 3 little ones :) and I must be ancient!

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    1. G'day, Margaret...it'd be a very dreary world and life without the ability to laugh, that's for sure.

      I, too, am among the ancient! lol

      Thanks for coming by. :)

      Delete
  10. You had me worried there for a minute, I thought you were really being harassed and upset about it. Glad to hear it wasn't as bad as I thought.

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha, River. No...all is well...it wasn't at all bad...it was all good!

      Thanks for coming by. :)

      Delete
  11. I tried to ban kids using the word 'old' but this is difficult in a museum...
    Kids ought to be banned!

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    Replies
    1. Ahh...come on now, you don't mean that, Mr. Ad-Man. You're neither Scrooge nor the Grinch. You can't fool me!!

      Thanks for coming by. :)

      Delete
  12. Wishing you and yours the happiest Holiday Season. Love Granny Annie

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    Replies
    1. Thank you,Annie...A very Merry Christmas to you and your family, too. :)

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  13. I am glad you had a fun day, and yes, if that little boy is as lucky as you and I, he too, will be older and wiser some day.

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    1. I'm not sure about the "wiser", Arleen. I hope he never loses the charm he presently exudes...and the bright-eyed smiles.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

      Delete
  14. I just love some of the things children say - you can't help but laugh!
    Anyway I have two speeds slow and very slow!

    Enjoy the Christmas Season.

    All the best Jan

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    Replies
    1. G'day, Jan. Me, too...little kids are special...and we should, at all times, remind ourselves to see the world through their eyes. It's a far better looking world...through the eyes of a child.

      I have similar speeds to yours. Frustratingly,arthritic hips don't allow for speed these days!

      I hope you enjoy your Christmas Season, too. Take care. And thanks for coming by. :)

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  15. Too funny. You're right, Lee. Kids have no filter!
    Those drinks are a wonderful idea! And the Peppermint Slices look and sound yummy.
    Have a jolly day.

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    1. Hey there, Sandra. Little kids are wonderful...and the excitement they feel around this time of the year is contagious and delightful to see. :)

      Of course, a nip of Vodka could be added to the drink....if you desire.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

      Delete
  16. Hmm - you don't seem old to me. You handled that wonderfully.

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