Wednesday, January 24, 2018

‘APPY STRAYA DAY TO ALL OF YOUSE! OI! OI! OI!




 (Blow me down!  January, 2018 is almost at an end.  My post below is written tongue in cheek, which is far easier to do than if I tried to write it while sitting on my hands, by the way.  It is just a bit of Aussie humour.  Some of you will be able to decipher it...others...well, that may be another story.  No offence is intended...and I hope none is taken).


G’day! 

Strewth!  I’ll probbly get into trouble for callin’ all youse blokes an’ sheilas out there “blokes” an’ “sheilas”, but, fair crack of the whip!  Wot next?  

Has everyone gone bonkers an’ lost the plot lately?  They’ve all gone to the extreme an’ beyond by becomin’ blinded by political-correctness.  There’s a limit to everythin’, I tell ya!

Tell ‘em they’re dreamin’!  Can’t anyone take a joke no more?  

Soon we’ll be afraid to open our mouths – evah!   When it comes to some jackasses that wouldn’t be a bad thing! 

‘alf the time I’m standin’ around like a stunned mullet at some of the stuff that’s been goin’ on, an’ bin said.  Flamin’ galahs, the lot of ‘em!

There away with the pixies - the pixies must be havin’ more fun than I am. I better go an’ ‘ave a Captain Cook! 

Often I think there not the full quid - an’ I aren’t referrin’ to the pixies.  

Commonsense seems to be cactus.

If I’m not careful one of these days I’ll come a gutser.  I’ll  trip over me own jaw because it’s constantly fallin’ open to the ground in shocked amazement at what spews forth from the mouth of some dingbat or another.   It’s a wonder I don’t ‘ave gravel rash on me jaw!

I wish they’d all jest belt up – hit the turps; crack a tinnie; suck on a few - chill out, an’ gimme a break! 

With me mouth constantly open I’d make a bonzer fly-catcher.  I could hire meself out, an’ make a quid or two. Holy dooley! That’s a good idea!  Why didn’t I think of it before?  A bit slow, I reckon.

Nowadays when you’ve got a cold or the flu you’d probably get put in the clink for sayin’, “I’ve got the wog”!   Deadset!  

Things are changin’ around us; an’ not always for the better. 

As regular as after a dose of salts there’s always some yobbo bein’ precious; spittin’ the dummy, wavin’ his/her arms in the air protestin’ about somethin’ or rother.  

Often she/he (no gender neutral here) aren’t even aware the posters there wavin’ about are upside down!  D’oh!

Probbly ‘alf of ‘em don’t know what there protestin’ about...a mob of sheep followin’ a mob of sheep, an’ each don’t ‘ave a clue where there goin’!  

I feel like tellin’ ‘em to rack off!  They make me crazier than a cut snake!

Some of ‘em ‘ave been out in the sun too long, I think - they’ve gone troppo.   Bloody drongos!

Yeah! I’m ravin' an' ‘avin’ a whinge - carryin’ on like a pork chop - but, if I don’t let it all out, I’ll hit the plonk.  

‘ang on....better still...I’ll stay in me grundies, or me tracky dacks, an’ guzzle a few Bundies through Mundee, Choosdee, Wensdee, Fursdee, Fridee, Saddee an’ Sundee!   Sounds like a plan!

Fair dinkum! It might be fun bein’ a lush...if I was flush enough to be one, that is.  Too right it would!  No dramas!

I don’t know how a pork chop carries on, do you?  Do pork chops even carry on?  If youse ‘appen to see one bein’ a pork chop, gimme a bell.  No worries if ya forget.

It might explain the odd noises I ‘eard comin’ from me fridge last night.  It was the pork chops knowin’ they’re gunna be tossed on the barbie tomoz.  I reckon I’d carry on, too – spit the dummy - if that was me fate.  I’d scoot before it was too late!  

I shoulda took a peek. Sussed it out, an’ tried to calm ‘em down; but if I’d opened me fridge door they’d of gone off on the lam with the lamb chops! Then I’d ‘ave to go by shank’s pony to catch ‘em in the middle of the night!  Bugger that for a joke!

Plus I couldn’t find me...doovalacky....ya know wot I mean...me thingummyjig...me thingumbob...me whatsit...me torch!  Yeah....me torch!

Strike a light! I’ll be stuffed!  Now they wanna change the date of Straya Day!  Dinky-di! They’d steal the milk out o’ yer tea, if they could! 

I’m gunna change me birth date.  I’ll ‘ang onta the day an’ month, but the year needs ta go, if you get me drift...shave a few orf.  On me next birthdee I’d be chuffed to find I’d turned a few years younger. 

I’m gunna be flat chat in the mornin’ of Straya Day - puttin’ together a couple of platters to take with me to the “lane/court” pardee in the arvo.  

Us mob’ll be blowin’ the froth off a few, I reckon.  It’ll be an ‘appy mob...no ratbags among ‘em....’cept for me, probbly....  I’m not a two-pot screamer, though, if that’s wot ya thinkin’!

Ridgy-didge!  She’ll be apples!

I promise ya...I’ll be good as gold..  on me best behaviour at the bash.

I’ll whack on some lippy; grab me sunnies.  Not that I’ve got tickets on meself – I’m not skitin’ - but I reckon I’ll look like a bit of a spunk – a bit of orlright in me new slacks an’ top...with a few gold chains around me neck to set me outfit orf.    

We’ll all bend the elbow an’ chew the fat. We’ll have a few laughs, an’ ‘ave a good ole yarn, but no one will get paralytic. No booze bus needed.

Don’t be a pork chop!  Enjoy Straya Day!  She’ll be a bloody ripper, mate!

BBQ Lamb Shanks: Make paste; 1tbs paprika, 1-1/2tbs salt, 3-3/4tsp black pepper, 2-1/4tsp garlic powder, 3/4tsp each dried thyme, rosemary, oregano and ground ginger, 3tbs x-virgin olive oil, 2tbs soy sauce, 2tbs Dijon and 1tbs fresh lemon juice. Trim 4 lamb shanks; liberally coat with paste. Place in storage bag; chill 12hrs. Grill shanks on bbq; cook slowly1-1/4hrs or until cooked to liking.

Balsamic BBQ Lamb Chops: Cut off top of garlic bulbs; wrap both portions in foil; roast at 175C, 45mins.  When cool, squeeze garlic from top and bottom of bulb. Discard skins. Tie together 4 sprigs of rosemary. In saucepan, add ¾ balsamic. 1/4c brown sugar, rosemary, 2 birds eye chillies, or chilli flakes, cracked black pepper and mashed garlic. Bring to boil; reduce heat; simmer until reduced and syrupy. Discard rosemary and chillies.  Cool; pour over 8 lamb loin chops; coat evenly; chill at least 1hr, longer if possible. Grill chops; baste as you go.

BBQ Pork Chops: Combine 2tbs soy sauce, 1tbs chilli sauce, 1tbs toasted sesame oil, 1tbs brown sugar, 1tbs rice vinegar, 1tbs finely grated ginger and  1 grated garlic clove.  Reserve 2tbs; then stir in 1/2c hoisin sauce. Set half aside and add 1 to 2tbs water.  Sprinkle 4 pork chops and 1 red onion, cut into ½-inch thick slices with salt and pepper; place on oiled grill. Grill pork until slightly pink near bone. Grill onions; then place in a bowl. About halfway through grilling start basting each with hoisin mix. Grab 6 baby bok choy; halve; steam just until core has softened; season; then char on grill; add to onions in bowl; gently toss with reserved ginger sauce. Serve chops with the vegies and reserved hoisin mixture. 

Merry Matilda:  Blend 1-1/2c frozen mango, 1-1/4c frozen pineapple until smooth; add juice of 1 lime, ½c orange juice, 1/4c sugar syrup, 1c tequila, and ice as desired. 

Chill-Salt Rim:  Rub lime wedge around glass rims.  Dip into a mixture of chilli powder and salt (optional).




47 comments:

  1. An' an 'appy Ozstraya Day to you too, an' 'ave a bonzer party, darls.

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    1. Okay, cobber! Will do!

      Me fridge is chockers with tucker for tomorra. We should have a bloody ripper of a time.

      I hope you do, too. If you wanna grab ya flanno, ya welcome ta join us! No wuckin' furries!

      Thanks for coming by, Andrew. :)

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    2. OMG! It's been a long while since I heard "wuckin' furries"

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    3. I couldn't resist the opportunity, River! lol

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  2. Ha Ha, I understood every word.
    Happy 'straya day to you too.
    I'll be spendin' me day in front of the TV, watchin' Young Sheldon, a spin-orf of The big Bang Theory, showin' wot Sheldon was like as a young-un.

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    1. I knew you would, River! :) Enjoy your day with Lady Lola by your side....stay cool and relaxed in front of the TV. I know how much you enjoy "Big Bang Theory".

      Thanks for cummin' by, mate! :)

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  3. Happy Australia Day!
    The food pictures look very appetizing! The recipes, as usual, are very tempting!
    Enjoy the great day as best as you can!

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  4. Gidday, DUTA! I'll be trying to stay as cool as I can tomorrow - the humidity continues. The party won't be a lengthy affair, but it should be quite a pleasant interlude...hopefully!

    Thanks for coming by. :)

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  5. I was relieved to discover that in Australian slang a "Captain Cook" is a "look" and not what I first assumed it to be! I should have known that you are too ladylike to express yourself like an ocker.

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    1. Mr. Pudding! I know not to what you refer!

      I am aware I make typos every so often - much to my chagrin - but that was not the case in this instance!!

      It pleases me you now, on the whole, appear to understand Aussie slang, and that you don't have to use my Australia Day post as an excuse to visit your favourite barmaid, namely Rose, at your local pub for her translation as you were forced to do last year! :)

      Thanks for dropping in. :)

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    2. Rose is now back in Perth - not the little one in Scotland.

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    3. 'Tis a nice city Perth...not the little one in Scotland...the big one in Western Australia! :)

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  6. Enjoy ya fun in the sun at the barbie Lee
    I'll think of ya all up there in the arvo - will ya be wearing ya moccies? Someone tried to tell me they wus called shearers shoes - no way I sez its uggs or moccies in our house
    Take care
    Cathy

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    1. Aw, gee whiz, Cathy...I've never owned a pair of uggs, an' I think the same applies to moccies. I can't remember ever having moccies. My memory might be on the blink...I might 'ave done at some time or the other.

      I should wear me thongs, except I've not had a pair of 'em in years an' years. I'm just not with it, it would appear! I'm a walkin', talki'n, writin' faux pas...or is that "foe pah"? ;)

      Thanks for comin' in for a squizz! Enjoy your Aussie Day. :)

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  7. You always make me wish I were an Aussie:-)

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    1. We're a weird mob, Annie! And, we'd welcome you with open arms...you'd fit in well...not because you're weird, too! Maybe this isn't coming out well at all. Perhaps I should quit while I'm ahead...or behind! I know you know what I mean! :)

      Thanks for coming by, Annie. Take good care. :)

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    2. Well now I'm going to watch "They're A Weird Mob" after dinner. Great movie.

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  8. Wow...that took me a while to decipher. Happy Australia Day 2018.....eat drink and be merry.

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    1. Those not from the Land Down Under would find it difficult to decipher, Delores...it's okay, you won't be alone! :)


      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  9. Yep, didn't understand it! But sometimes Australian slang makes me laugh out loud, it is so appropriate. After we lived in Australia my dad adopted some of it, and used it thereafter. I always liked "ratbag".

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    1. G'day, Jenny...I hope we never lose our Aussie slang...in the majority...it is a lot of harmless fun.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  10. The idea of a barbie right now in grey cold old London.....!!!!!!

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    1. All food at the party this arvo will be cold, Jenny....it's steamy here at present and the thought of standing over a hot barbie does not appear at all! lol

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  11. I am always happy with word usage elsewhere from here in US. I have a blogging friend in London who had used the phrase "I'm not bovvered". In context, I deciphered it but a commentor claimed to have to "Google it" for translation.

    Except for the excessive use of "u" and lack of use of "s", I have no problem with the British language.

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    1. Hey, Goatman...we don't excessively use "u". You guys just got lazy and dropped it from certain words. However, the younger generations now have picked it up again and use "u" for "you"....laziness displayed once again! :)

      I'm not sure what you mean by the lack of "s", though. That's got me at a loss (see...I used a "s" twice there)! :) I'll have to think on this one for a while.

      Thanks for coming by. 'Tis always a special pleasure seeing you! :)

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    2. The Americans use a 'z' where we would use an 's', as in apologize/apologise etc.

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    3. Oops, I meant "r" as in "sugah" , not the "s" which is good. (had a brain cloud)

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    4. Yes, Goatman....I've noted the pronounced pronunciation of the "r" used in "American-speak"...very often.

      I had a good friend from Texas...he was the true "long, tall Texan", too....hitting the mark at 6ft 4 inches in height. And the way he pronounced "r" made me more aware of how our mates in the US use it...to this day my ears are immediately prick when I hear the definitive way it roles off the tongue.

      Thanks. :)

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    5. And, yes, River...there that, too. :)

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  12. It's like I'm reading a foreign language, I need a Merry Matilda, those lamb dishes sound and look so delicious.

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    1. Hahahaha! It is foreign to a lot of Aussies, too, Linda! ;)

      I wouldn't mind a Merry Matilda, either.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  13. Ha! How cool is that what you've written, very Australian and a long time since I have heard many of those words :)
    Well done Lee.
    Happy Australia Day.

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    1. Hey Margaret...I hope we never lose our sense of humour (or our usage of "u") or our unique slang words and terms. They're harmless, descriptive pieces of fun.

      Happy Australia Day to you...you who have wandered this vast land extensively and generously shared your travels with us. Thank you. :)

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  14. Let me just whack on some lippy! HA!
    Great post! Someone has to make us laugh, it made as well be you, you funny Sheila!

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    1. I aim to please, Kay! :) I'm glad you saw the fun in my bit of nonsense and enjoyed it.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  15. Happy Australia day to you!! Thank you for the smiles.

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    1. You are most welcome, RK. 'Tis nice to see you! Thanks for coming by...take good care. :)

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  16. January 26th is my birthday as well as Australia Day. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when I read that. We do an Australian accent ourselves but nothing as authentic as that. A real Aussie taking the piss out of the way Australians talk. Priceless.

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    1. G'day, Terry! Happy Birthday for the 26th! I hope you enjoyed your special day. :)

      We Aussies are experts at taking the piss out of ourselves...and each other....all done in the name of good fun, no malice intended. :)

      I hope we never lose our sense of humour...or our quite unique, inoffencive Aussie slang words and phrases.

      Thanks for coming by...take care. :)

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  17. Oh my! The lingo there! Hope your Australia Day was happy!

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    1. G'day Lynn....Yes...the little lane party was very enjoyable. I'm the shady lady of Shady Lane! :)

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  18. Happy Australia Day! But, mmmmmmmmm, didn't understand a single word you said. No, just joshin', mate. Do Aussies refer to the fairer sex as 'mates' as well? I don't know. I do know what you mean about shaving a few years off your birthday. I did do that on my Facebook page. Nobody should be the wiser unless they check my profile.

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    1. Hey Dave. Yes....some Aussies refer to members of the fairer sex as "mate/s" too.

      I hope we never lose our unique lingo...some of it has disappeared into the wild blue yonder.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  19. Enjoyed your post, and I enjoyed reading the comments too!
    Happy Australia Day!

    All the best Jan

    PS Thanks for the recipes ...

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    1. Hey Jan...I'd glad you enjoyed my bit of fun...a bit of nonsense. :)

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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    2. Cor blimey Lee, that's a lotta bush prattle and I thought you were a a sophisticated young er lady. Your recipes are mouth watering but would put the weight back on. you see I have lost 29 kilo. in the past 15 months and I am enjoying wearing new clothes. My son would like your recipe for Canetoadintheole. I really enjoyed reading your post.

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    3. Hey there, Vest. I'm glad you invested some of your time to read my bit of Aussie Day fun.

      The recipes won't put on weight...only how much of each you ingest, Vest! Everything in moderation. :)

      Thanks for coming by...please do call again. :)

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