SOME PEOPLE SAY THE DARNEDEST OF THINGS!

Some do the darnedest things. 

Not much darning goes on nowadays.  I’m darned if I do any.  Eons ago I did, but no longer.  It began to needle me, so I ceased.  Holey underwear is tossed out, even on Sundays.  We all know the tale about holey underwear and being run over by a bus.

I’m darned sure you were given the warning throughout your childhood, the same as I was.  I’m equally sure you continue to heed the good advice - either that or, dodge buses.

Please don’t assume otherwise - I do include me in the title declaration.  I have been known to say and do the darnedest of things.  No doubt I will do similar again more than once.  I’m darned if I can stop myself.  My foot often has a mind of its own. Try as I might, I just can’t stop if from landing in my mouth.  It suffers from MJBS...Mexican Jumping Bean Syndrome.

I never cease to be amazed by the utterances some people utter, though. 

One of the darnedest verbal reactions...one which really surprises me (and annoys me, to be honest)...is when I say I’d love to be the recipient of a major Lotto win. 

Nine times out of ten, the rapid retort I receive is:

 “Oh!  That’s too much money for one person!” 

To me, those words are probably up high, near the top of the list of the darnedest words I’ve ever heard.  They leave me gobsmacked every time I hear them. The words make no sense. I’m darned if I understand the logic behind the remark; maybe I’m dense.

To my way of thinking the statement lacks thought and reason.  (I suppose my way of thinking may be questionable to others, but I’m darned if I care!) 

I don’t need a huge mansion on a hill, or on the flat, with a fleet of expensive cars stored in a garage as big as a house, or a sleek yacht moored at the marina growing barnacles on its bottom. (I can get those sitting at my computer).

  

I’m happy with my little two-door, unassuming vehicle, and I’ve no desire to travel the world, or go on cruises at the drop of an anchor.

It’s just who I am and the way I am - we’re all different, desiring different things, of course.  

“Thank goodness!” You exclaim in unison.  

The reaction is understandable. Who would want to be like me?  There are times even I don’t want to be like me.  

To dine on Beluga caviar and truffles every day, or even for one day, is not a yearning.  There was a day, years ago, I dined on both.  One should never overdo a good thing.  

My needs and longings are simple; perhaps broaching boring.  I don’t envy what others have... I don’t covet the property of others.  

However, I’d love to take out a major Lotto win...not a million dollars, not two million dollars (don’t misunderstand me, to win either amount would be wonderful, and I’d willing except either with both hands).  

  

My reasons for wishing to win a major pay-out in the Lottery over just a million or two dollars are:-

There are worthwhile causes winning a major Lotto pay-out would assist; there are genuine people in need it would help.  So much good could be done...so many people could be assisted through their particular battle.

So when I see the Lotto jackpot to $30m, $40m, $50 million etc., I’ll be darned if I think it’s too much money for me, one person, to win.  I’ll be darned if I’d say, out loud, it’s too much money for me, one, person to win.

Darn it!  I’m being selfish – but I’m darned if I care!   I would have so much fun...so much fun....being an anonymous philanthropist! 

Yesterday I read the darnedest article.  The article was the result of another of those darned researches conducted by folk of a higher education.  Those darned academics struck again!

The research’s conclusion was if you write your supermarket shopping list in the running order of the shop’s aisles you suffer OCD. 

In the case of my supermarket shopping list I’m definitely OCD.  I’m darned if I was previously aware of my idiosyncrasy. 

Phtt! Being an OCD-in-aisle-order-shopping-list-writer makes shopping far simpler.  If necessary, because I know in which aisle everything is, I could conduct my grocery shopping blindfolded.   

Please accept my apologies ahead of time if I bump into you.

My two cats are OCD sufferers in the darnedest ways. 

For example – Overcautious Cat Dilemma...Outstanding Cats Decidedly...Omnipotent Creatures Definitely...Outrageously Cuddly Darlings...Opinionated Curious Divas. 

Oh! See! Darn!  I do say the darnedest things.

Caviar Potato Wedges: Cut potatoes or kumara into ¼-1/3-inch thick wedges. Place on baking sheet; season; bake until golden, about 15mins. Turn wedges; bake further 15mins. Transfer to plate; cool; top with sour cream; spoon small amount of caviar onto sour cream; sprinkle with very finely chopped white onion or chives.

Caviar Crab Tower: Carefully combine 155g fresh crab meat, 1/2tsp finely minced shallot, dash of paprika, 1/4tsp lemon juice, salt and pepper.  Cut 1 large avocado in half; spoon flesh into a bowl; mash; add 1/2tsp lemon juice; season to taste. Begin with a 3-inch flattened mound of smashed avocado on each of 4 plates; divide crab into 4 servings; form layer on top of avocado; gently flatten; then spoon 30g black caviar on top of each tower.

Pasta de Truffle Caviar Pasta: Cook some Angel Hair aka Capellini pasta in pot of unsalted, boiling water; drain; run under cold water; drain again, Put pasta in bowl; do not add regular salt to pasta. Season pasta with truffle salt and a generous amount of truffle oil. Add finely cut chives, dried Porcini mushrooms (soaked in water, then diced very finely) and black caviar; drizzle a little x-virgin olive oil over pasta; toss gently.  Allow pasta to marinate in fridge about an hour. Serve topped with a little caviar.

Cowboy Caviar: In a small bowl, combine 1/4c olive oil, 1/4c red wine vinegar, 2 minced garlic cloves, salt, pepper and 1tsp cumin; set aside. Combine 1 drained can each of black beans, pinto beans and corn kernels, 1 sliced avocado, 3 diced Roma tomatoes, 1 diced red onion, 1/2c each diced red and green capsicum, chilli powder, to taste, and roughly chopped coriander, if desired. Pour dressing and a little fresh lime juice over corn-bean mixture; carefully toss to combine. Serve with corn chips or fried chicken.