BINGEING AND WHINGEING...

Bundaberg Rum Distillery, Bundaberg, ..a city situated on the Burnett River, Queensland

I hope the following plethora of information isn’t too much to ingest in one sitting, but contrary to what you may be thinking, I’m not a binge drinker, other than of water.

The last time I binged on beverages of the alcoholic kind was when I ingested one ice-cold Crownie aka Crown Lager, and three glasses of chilled Rosé during Australia Day afternoon, which, as you’re no doubt aware, still falls on 26^th January.

On that particular afternoon, like a wild animal escaped from the zoo, I went crazy.  I let my hair down Ozzy Osbourne-style. However, no bats were harmed in the process.  During the pleasant street party soiree shared with neighbours who dwell in this exclusive enclave of this plateau the only old bat to lose its head was me.  

Since then, it’s been a “long time between drinks”....with no oasis in sight. Don’t misunderstand me....I’m not whingeing. However, don’t lose hope...all is not lost! I’ve been bingeing in a different style...on my favourite TV series and movies. 

A boring old fruit I am, it would appear to some, but an old soak I am not, even if, at present, my place does smell suspiciously like a distillery – the Bundaberg Rum Distillery. 

Anyone walking by my cabin would think I’m on a 24-hour, seven day-week binge.  

Early last week I soaked a pile of dried fruits and raw walnuts overnight in readiness for the making of my Christmas cakes.   

Each year I make two Christmas cakes - one for me, and one for my ex-husband, Randall.

Once upon a time I used to make my rich, fruit-filled, alcohol-soaked fruit Christmas cakes in September, but these days because I no longer entertain/home cater the way I used to do in years of yore, I now make the trusted, and delicious, boiled fruit cakes.  I love boiled fruit cakes.  My Nana used to make excellent boiled fruit cakes, and I’m reminded of her and my childhood whenever I make them.  

Walnuts join in the fun, along with the rum-soaked mixed fruits (including dried cranberries), crystallised ginger and chopped dates.  I always toss in some cocoa and instant coffee powder/granules to add even more subtle flavour during the boiling.  The cakes are topped with almonds, a few walnuts and glacé cherries.  They are then allowed to do their “thing” in oven.

As is my wont, I soaked the abundance of fruit, walnuts etc., in good old Bundy Rum. 

Of all days to make Christmas cakes was Wednesday of last week.  The day relentless, cyclonic, gale-force winds hit the area.  The day was horrible...horrendous.  I've been in cyclones when living in North Queensland...and it was similar to being in a cyclone, but with no rain....just damaging, dangerous wind.  The heat, also, was unbearable...but bear it I had to do.

It was definitely not a day to be out and about because of flying missiles...tree branches etc.  It was frightening enough being inside.   

The early morning began calmly, but late morning the world turned upside down, and the mayhem began.

Shortly after mid-day, somewhere or other, a flying, out-of-control trampoline cut power to the whole mountain. 

Fortunately, my second cake, which was still in the oven when the power went off at 1.40 pm, had just finished cooking – perfect timing, but unplanned.  

For the ensuing 12 or more hours there was no power on this side of the mountain. The northern side, Eagle Heights, were without power for 24 or so hours.  

While on the subject of bingeing...my fruit cakes like to binge.  They are partial to a noggin or two of rum, and beg for a top up once a week or so until Christmas. 

One can’t blame them because dark rum is a good drop.  Just ask Captain Jack Sparrow, Blackbeard, and their fellow buccaneers.   

Captain Kidd didn’t kid around when it came to a barrel of rum...or a chest of treasure.  Being a Scotsman, Kidd preferred Scotch whisky, though, but swashbuckling pirates couldn’t be choosers when battling the high seas. It was thirsty work, but there was no point whingeing.  A “ho-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum” binge solved the problems. 

Pondering upon the thought...rum could also be the cause of Santa’s red nose, and Rudolph’s!

All the whingeing in the world didn’t halt Captain Kidd’s trial and death sentence.

Kidd certainly had something to whinge about, though, because he was hanged two times.  The first time failed - the rope broke! 

I would’ve had a good old whinge, too, if I‘d been him! I’d be still whingeing.

To employ such poor quality rope was disgraceful!

The story has it, searches still continue to this day for Captain Kidd's hidden treasure. Many are of the belief not all of the loot has been found.  Maybe I need to go off on a trip...shovel in hand....

When the hangman's deed was finally completed, Kidd’s property was greedily snaffled by the crown; some was given to the Royal Hospital, Greenwich.  Since then the hospital has been through a few name changes.

Hopefully, similar won’t apply to our own Lady Cilento Children’s Hospital in Brisbane.  I could whinge about the latter plan (and I do)...but I’ll let you off the hook while I go back to bingeing on Stan...the streaming service, silly!

Choc-Rum Cake: Beat 1c softened butter until fluffy; gradually add 2c sugar, beating well; add 4 large eggs, 1 at a time, along with 1/2c dark rum; beat well until blended. Have 1 cup of hot water on hand.  Combine 2c plain flour, 1c unsweetened cocoa, 1tsp baking powder, 1tsp baking soda, 1/2tsp salt and 1/8^th tsp ground nutmeg; add to butter/sugar in 5 portions, pour a bit of hot water in between each portion. Beat at low speed until well blended; stir in 1tsp each almond and vanilla extracts. Pour batter into 3 greased and floured round cake pans. Bake at 175C about 27mins; cool 10mins; remove from pans; cool on wire racks. Frosting: Beat 250g softened unsalted butter until light and fluffy; add 200g cooled melted dark chocolate; beat 2mins. In another bowl beat 300ml thickened cream and 2tbs caster sugar until soft peaks form. Add cream to chocolate mixture; beat 2mins. Spread 1c frosting atop two layers; stack them; frost exterior with remaining frosting. Chill before serving.

Rum-Prune Tart: Heat oven 190C; set rack in centre. Grease base and sides of 23-24cm fluted, loose bottomed tart/flan tin. Roll 350-400g sweet shortcrust pastry out to 3mm thick; line base and sides of tin. Trim edges; chill 30mins. Bake blind 15mins (filled with rice or dried beans). Remove the rice/beans; return to oven for a further 3-4mins so base is well cooked. Set aside. Place 250g stones, dried prunes, 25g butter, 2tbs sugar and 1-1/2tbs dark rum in saucepan over low heat; stir until prunes are plump, moist and mushy. Stir in 1-1/2tbs dark rum; spread over the tart base. Beat 125g room temp butter, 6tbs caster sugar and 1/2tsp almond essence together until mixture is pale and well whipped. Beat 3 room-temp eggs; add to creamed mixture in small batches, beating well with each addition. Stir in 2tbs cornflour, 3tbs milk, grated lemon rind, lemon juice of 1 lemon and 3/4c ground almonds. It’s likely to separate and curdle a bit — this is normal. Spread over the prunes. Bake at 160C, 35-40mins, until set and golden. Serve warm, dusted with icing sugar.

Mellow Yellow: To juice of 2 limes in cocktail jug, add 40ml Bundy, 90ml brown sugar syrup, 240ml mango and orange nectar; fill with ice; top with ginger beer; Garnish with orange slices and mango cheeks.