HEAR YE! HEAR YE! HEAR YE!

 

Perhaps I should apply for a job as a Town Crier.  Hehehehehe!  That’s not as silly as it sounds.  There’s a lot to shriek about nowadays.  All too soon, before I could say “Jack Robinson” I’d have a very raw, sore throat, and be out of a job.  Who was Jack Robinson, anyway?  Very little is known about him.

It’s a wonder the un-woke “woke” mob hasn’t tried to change “Hehehehehe!”, to “Shesheshesheshe!”,…or,  perhaps, “Theytheytheytheythey!” 

 If I want to talk about Jack, the bloke down the road, (not Jack Robinson) I’m going to say “he”, “him” or “his”, not “they”. “their”, or “them”.  If I talk about Jack and his wife, Jill, I’ll say “them”.   When referring to singular Jack, he shall remain “he”. When referring to Jill, she shall remain “she” etc. They’ve no need to worry.  I…singular, single me…won’t be talking about he, him, she, her, or them.  Jack was single until he married Jill. She was single, too. They’ve stuck together, despite the fateful day when he fell down the hill, and she tumbled soon thereafter.

The noun “people” is the plural of “person”.  If I (“I”, being the nominative singular pronoun used by me, in reference to me, who happens to be a “herself”) refer to Jack, I aka me won’t refer to him as “people”, but as a “person” because that is what he is…a singular person, not a people…married though he may be!  

When together he (Jack as a singular person) and Jill (a singular female person) are people; a pair (not a pear), a duo…like two peas in a pod…e,g two peas one pod.

As for Jack and Jill, they have no need to worry.  I won’t talk any further about them.  My lips shall remain sealed. I have two lips.  Sometimes I put lipstick on them.

Take note…when I talk about myself, I’m not going to refer to me as “they, them, or their”.

That’s all folks (plural).  Today’s English Grammar lesson is at an end.

When I woke this morning at a very early hour I did question myself why I’d woken before the kookaburras.  They, the kookas, of which there were a few (a few is more than two), in between laughing loudly in unison, were counting their many chickens before they hatched.  I asked my two furry, yet beard-less bed mates why I’d woken up so early.  They were asking similar of me.  Calm down! Move along!  There is nothing to see here.  A ménage à trois is not a pastime in which I indulge. Also, take note, there is no possibility such a pastime will be happening any time soon, and not later down the track, either!  I’m referring to my two cats. 

By the way, I’m considering putting on a performance of “Cats”.  I’m always covered in enough fur to enable me to star on stage alongside my two furred friends!  I’ll let you know when the tickets go on sale.  While learning the words to the melodic songs we often pause to practice our dance steps.  I’ve just about got my miaows down pat, too. So much so, Puss in Boots would be jealous. 

These days “Town Crier” takes on a different connotation. Without a doubt, I’d qualify for the job. Tears flow freely…the cause being never-ending bad news.  Daily we drown in the deluges of heartbreaking, disturbing news, and barrel loads of stupidity being dumped on our virtual doorsteps.

When will it all end?  If history is a guideline, I fear the answer is “never”.  I wish this wasn’t so.

The time has come…me, myself and I am off to have my lunch.  Correction, I, myself, me, and my two furry mates are going to have our lunch…they and me. Mememememe, hehehehehe and shesheshesheshe…we three…the Three Musketeers!

After lunch, while my two cats nap, I’m going to have a catnap. Napkins put aside, the three of us will be napping.

Pea Soup: Heat 1tbs olive oil over med-heat. Add 1tsp cumin, 1tsp  coriander, 1 chopped onion, and salt; sauté 5mins. Add 3 minced garlic cloves, 2 thinly slice celery stalks, 6 or 7 peeled, cubed potatoes; season to taste; cook, stirring, 5mins. Add juice of 1/2 lemon; let it absorb 1min; then pour in 4c vegetable broth or water. Bring to a boil; lower heat to simmer; cook, covered, until potatoes are tender, 10 to 15mins. Add 500g frozen peas, and 4c spinach; stir until spinach wilts. Transfer 1 ½ cups of soup to blender; blend until creamy. Return blended soup to pot. Adjust seasonings.

Pea Fritters: Boil 3c frozen peas for 4mins; drain. Add 1-1/2c S.R. flour, 3 eggs, 1 finely chopped onion and half the peas to processor; pulse until combined. Fold through the remaining peas, 1/3c crumbled feta and 2tbs chopped parsley; season. Fry tablespoons of mixture in a little oil for approx 2mins per side, until golden. 

Pear Cake: Grease and line base of 20cm spring-form tin. Preheat oven 180C. Whisk until creamy and smooth, 200g S.R. flour, 200g caster sugar, 200g softened butter, 4 eggs, 1tsp baking powder and 2tbs milk. Transfer to cake tin. Arrange 3 peeled, cored and thinly sliced pears on top in a circular design, fitting snugly. Sprinkle 3tbs flaked almonds and 1tbs caster sugar on top. Bake 55-60 mins. Cool in tin 30 mins. Chantilly Cream (optional); whisk 50ml cream, 1tbs icing sugar and vanilla until thickened and soft peaks form. Remove cake from tin; place on serving plate; dust with a little icing sugar. Cut into wedges; serve with a dollop of Chantilly cream (if using).