I’LL PRE-EMPT BEFORE YOU LEAP TO CONCLUSIONS!

I've just realised I've not written a word in here since August! I'll have to do some "pre-empting" of my own towards myself with harsh reprimands for my slackness! I do apologise...but I'm probably apologising to an invisible, absent audience because I guess I've lost all my readers! I've just rapped myself across the knuckles in punishment! And I leave you with this promise...I will attend to my blogging more frequently in the future! I've missed it, and I've missed you!

My mind often works in mysteriously weird ways! By “often” I mean it probably goes into odd mode every second second. A thought is triggered without warning or choice; usually by something obscure, inconspicuous (it doesn’t discriminate). Something grabs my attention and sets my faculties, senses, consciousness, brain, noddle, grey matter (I’ve lots of that stuff now that my hair has changed colour to match my “organ of thought”) into overdrive. My brain snaffles the fodder tossed its way. Without a backward glance, it scampers off into sometimes previously unexplored territory. Mindful that not always will a sensible outcome ensue, the potential is ever present. With that probability in mind, curiosity becomes a powerful motivator.

The word “pre-empt” instigated this current train of activity. Out of the blue, arriving without an invitation, let alone a knock on the door, the word appropriated my thoughts. I consulted my trusty, ever-present Oxford Dictionary. My Oxford wordsmith has been a trustworthy, ever-present presence in my life since my high school shenanigans. These days it’s well-worn, battered, bruised and slightly torn, showing as much wear and tear as its owner. The description of my love for it maybe concise, but my adoration has never waned. It shares desk space with my equally-loved and utilised Roget’s Thesaurus. “Thessie” (please excuse my lisp) is of similar age and appearance. Actually, “Thessie” is slightly more tattered and torn, but she still does her job admirably.

After my lengthy patter, the point I’m trying to make is how can one “pre-empt” something or someone (although many do try and frequently succeed, which is unfortunate and very annoying) when there is no such word as “empt”?

Stop! Hold the horses; shut the gates; lock the doors – don’t even dare attempt to pre-empt what I’m going to say next! “Emption” is a word, but - horror upon horror - it doesn’t appear in the Oxford Dictionary; not in my edition, anyway! It is in the Thesaurus, however.

“Emption” means – purchase; buying; purchasing; shopping; procuring; investing etc., etc., et al. All of which appear to have little to do with “pre-empt”. It does proves, though, that my Oxford Dictionary and my Roget’s Thesaurus are akin to that old song written by Sammy Cahn and Jimmy Van Heusen, made popular by Frank Sinatra; “Love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage – you can’t have one without the other”.

If I’m being pre-emptive, I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it! Maybe I’m being presumptuous! It’s possible to have one without the other – love and marriage that is; not my dictionary and “Thessie”!

I’m being cheesy…I know!


Tim Tam Cheesecake: Process 250g Tim Tams to fine crumbs; add 80g melted butter; blend to combine; press into spring-form pan; chill 30mins. Dissolve 3tsp gelatine in 1/4c boiling water; cool. Beat 375g cream cheese, 1/2c caster sugar and 1tsp vanilla until smooth; beat in 1c thickened cream. Stir gelatine and 200g grated white chocolate into cream cheese. Chop 100g Tim Tams; stir into mixture; pour over base; cover; chill to set.

Ricotta Cheesecake: Preheat oven 190C; place rack in centre. Spray 9-inch spring-form pan; sprinkle with flour to lightly coat sides and base. On med-speed, combine 454g ricotta, 1tsp salt, 3tbs sugar, 1tbs plain flour and 3 room-temp egg yolks for 2mins; don’t over-beat. In another bowl, at high speed whisk egg whites, approx 1-1/2mins until stiff peaks form; using spatula, gently fold through cheese mixture until blended; pour into pan; give a good tap on bench to level. Place in centre of oven rack; bake 35-40mins or until just set and doesn’t jiggle; midway into baking, turn pan to browns evenly; remove from oven; cool completely before refrigerating. Top with fresh fruit of choice.

Ginger Cheesecake: Process 250g gingernuts until fine; add 75g melted butter; mix well; press into 20x30cm slice pan; chill. Beat 500g cream cheese, 1/2c honey and 2tbs caster sugar until fluffy; beat in juice and zest of small lemon; add 3 eggs, one at a time, beating between additions; fold in 1/4c finely-chopped crystallized ginger; fold in 125ml whipped cream. Spread over base; bake in preheated 170C oven, 25mins or until just set; turn off oven; leave cheesecake in oven with door ajar; cool; chill at least 4 hours. Decorate with chopped crystallized ginger and whipped cream if the mood suits!

IF THE SPIRIT IS WILLING, THERE’S ALWAYS A GHOST OF A CHANCE

There are a couple of spirits lurking around my home. They’ve haunted my place for a while! I tend not to worry about them, though. In fact, most of the time I ignore them. I’ve lost interest. Hence, I forget their presence. To be honest, it’s ages since I’ve given them my attention. They remain contained. They don’t bother me, so I don’t disturb them. However, the bottles are gathering dust from disuse (not misuse) over the years!

Talking about spirits, when I arrived on Hinchinbrook Island the existing staff descended, impatient to relate their stories about the escapades of the island’s resident ghost! For the faint of heart the tales they regaled would’ve caused many to swoon (or run for the hills), but I found the stories to be intriguing, if not a little humorous! The hairs didn’t stand up on the back of my neck when I learned of the ghost’s frolics. Not being a Hirsutism sufferer, I’ve very few hairs there, anyway! Perhaps my lack of wariness (not hairiness) was because I’d fallen under the mesmerising spell of the island the moment I’d set foot on it.

It wasn’t a conscious decision, but immediately upon my arrival, I referred to the island as “she” or “her” as one does a ship. I felt a kindred spirit with the island. In my moments of peaceful solitude I conducted quiet, one-sided conversations, telling “her” everything would now be all right because I was there. I know it sounds weird, and it probably was, but it was how I felt about my new home. I believed if, in fact, there was an island ghost, the reason it had been disturbed and active prior to my arrival was that all who went before me erroneously referred to the island and the spirit as being male. If, indeed, such a ghost existed, I believed it to be female!

For what it’s worth, during my tenure on Hinchinbrook no further ghostly. unexplainable episodes occurred. Lots of spirits in bottles rattled about, though!

To put lie to my previous statement of not being a “sufferer of Hirsutism”, every time I visited Fraser Island, which once was often, (each time staying for a week or longer) the hairs on the back of my neck stood upright! They grew especially for those visits, I’m sure! I know thousands love Fraser Island. I’m not one of them. For reasons unknown, the island spooks me. I ceased visiting Fraser because of how it made me feel. Poona, a sleepy seaside village on the mainland adjacent to the southern tip of Fraser causes similar reactions within me; as do areas along Marlborough Road, between Rocky and Sarina - strange, but true!

Cue the theme music of “The X-Files” or “Ghostbusters”! Don’t give up the ghost!

Spirited Steak: Combine 1/3c Scotch whisky, 1/4c brown sugar, 1/3c soy sauce, 2tbls Dijon mustard, 1tsp Worcestershire sauce, 1 finely-chopped onion and 1 crushed garlic clove. Place 4 sirloin steaks/rump/scotch fillets in marinade; refrigerate overnight. Bring to room temp; remove from marinade; grill as desired.

Jamaican Chicken: Combine 1/2c dark rum, 2tbls lime or lemon juice, 2tbls soy sauce, 2tbls brown sugar, 4 minced garlic cloves, 1-2 hot chillies, seeded, minced, 1tbl minced fresh ginger, 1tsp thyme, 1/2tsp black pepper. Put 6 boned, skinless chicken breast halves in bowl with marinade; coat well. Refrigerate overnight. Drain chicken; reserve marinade. Place chicken on grill, uncovered, over med-hot, 6mins per side or until cooked. Bring reserved marinade to boil in saucepan; boil until reduced by half; serve chicken drizzled with marinade.

Penne alla Vodka: Process 2 un-drained cans tomatoes until just finely chopped; don’t over-process. Heat 1/4c cup x-virgin olive oil in pan; add 10 garlic cloves, smashed with flat of knife blade; cook 3mins; add tomatoes; bring to boil; add 1 crushed hot chilli (or to taste); boil, 2mins. Add 1/4-1/2c vodka; simmer 7mins. Remove garlic; add 1/2c cream; add 2tbl butter; season; add 500g cooked penne to sauce; allow sauce to thicken; toss in 3/4c parmesan; serve sprinkled with parsley and parmesan.

Ghost in the Graveyard: Combine 1/4c black vodka, 1/4c crème de cacao; set aside; place scoop vanilla ice cream in highball glass; slowly pour over liquor; garnish with nutmeg!

Luckily, Easter was an extra long weekend - five days with Anzac Day at the tail-end of it - allowing me time to complete the finishing touches to my outfit and find coordinating shoes, hat and handbag before shuffling off, not to Buffalo, but to the London wedding!

Much time was spent on my ensemble because I didn’t want to clash with Julia or Quentin (respectively our Prime Minister and Governor-General), and I certainly did not want to clash with Eugene or Beatrice!

I stayed well clear of those two; fearful Beatrice was emitting radio rays, microwave rays, gamma rays, ultra-violet or X-rays, stingrays, even, from the weird antennae upon her head! Obviously someone mischievously told her it was a hat!

With only minutes to spare, I ripped off my Easter Bunny outfit, pulled on my trackie daks, hoodie and uggs and jumped on a jet to the land of the Union Jack.

Generously, Liz and Phil found a spare room in their palace to house me for a couple of days! Granted it was a turret up where the snipers held vigil, but that was all right; it didn’t rain and I felt protected!

I managed to sneak into all the parties; the one hosted by dear Lilibet; the one tossed by Chuck and Cammie; followed by the all-nighter; and then I finished off by staggering into the recovery breakfast hosted by Harry!

My flowing adrenalin didn’t allow room for exhaustion. Tiredness was placed on the back burner because immediately upon putting my footing back on Aussie turf, I raced off to the Logies! (Aussie TV awards to the uninitiated)! The well-positioned Labor Day weekend helped to squeeze it all in!

Life is never dull!

All joking aside, the union of William and his beautiful Kate was a spectacle to behold! Will was resplendent in his scarlet tunic of the Irish Guard. Kate dazzled in her stunning, understated, stylishly gown; Pippa almost (operative word “almost”) eclipsed in her exquisite, slim-fitting creation. The cute flower girls and pages completed the picturesque picture.

Who else in this world could command such worldwide interest and attention? No one! There’s not a celebrity, sportsperson, nor politician who could draw such a crowd! The whole event was expertly orchestrated and controlled. The police, like a thousand sheep dogs were awesome in their control of the massive crowd converging upon the palace eager to greet the young couple upon their balcony appearance; a crowd hungry for the vision of the young couple's first public kiss as husband and wife.

The royals magically managed to allow billions across the world to participate in a family occasion. Amongst the pomp and ceremony there was an innate sense of intimacy. It’s proof to all that the Free Western World is alive and well!

It’s now time for some R and R after Britainna Ruled the day!

And I'm not even a Royalist (I'm not a Republican, either - it's pretty comfortable here on the fence)!!!

But let's face it...they really did capture our imagination! There is no denying!

Right Royal Rosemary Crown Roast: Combine 3/4c warmed quince or fig jam, 2 finely-chopped garlic cloves, 1/4c white wine; season. Grab 2 lamb racks, rib ends Frenched, tied into crown; brush with jam mixture; don’t get it on the bones. Place crown in roasting pan; insert long branches of fresh rosemary in centre of roast at regular intervals; fold branches over top and down outside; slip under roast to hold in place; pour remaining sauce in centre of crown; refrigerate 4hrs. Roast in preheated 200C oven, 25-30mins for med-rare. Rest crown 10mins; serve.

Ricotta Ravioli: Pile 3-1/2c plain flour on bench-top; make crater; add 4 eggs to centre; partially incorporate flour into eggs with a fork; then knead to form dough, 4-5mins. Set aside, covered. Cook 450g spinach in salted boiling water until tender; remove from water; cool; drain well; chop roughly. Combine with 450g ricotta, 1 egg, 2tbls cream, roasted pine-nuts or chopped walnuts and 4tbls grated Parmesan; season with nutmeg, salt and pepper. Assemble: cut dough into 4 pieces; roll each to 1/8-inch thickness; place 1 spoonful filling onto 1 sheet, ½-inch from edge; continue placing filling along dough 1-inch from each other; place other pieces of dough on top; pinch dough around filling to form ravioli, expending air; cut out raviolis; pinch edges with fork tines; set aside on floured plate; don’t pile on top of each other. Add raviolis to boiling water; when they float, they’re cooked. Sauce: melt 125g butter; add 1/4tsp nutmeg, a dash of lemon juice and 1tbl chopped sage; simmer 1min. Just before serving sprinkle freshly grated Parmesan over top.

Royale Coffee: Add 2/3c black coffee and 2tbls cognac to Irish coffee cup; sweeten to taste; gently float whipped cream on top; sprinkle with grated chocolate.

WEDDINGS! INDULGENT FANFARES! THE WHOLE CATASTROPHE

Whether a Monarchist or a bearer of the Republican flag, it matters little when it comes to a royal wedding.

It seems like only yesterday that we watched in awe as Charles and Di tied the knot (although many cringed, me included, at Diana's over-the-top, all-engulfing monstrosity of a gown). I guess we forgave Diana for that choice as she was only 19 years of age at the time...such an innocent child, really, thrown into a den of lions!

In the ensuing years Princess Diana stole our hearts with her stylish beauty and generosity of spirit. Those same hearts were broken by her untimely death. Transfixed in front of our television screens, our tears flowed as we reluctantly and sorrowfully bade her farewell to the haunting strains of “Candle in the Wind”.

We’ve watched her two sons grow and blossom into young men of whom she would have been very proud.

The years have flown by; once more we’ll sit in wonderment as we witness Wills and his lovely young bride, Kate walk down the aisle. Let’s hope everything goes smoothly for them on their special day with no disruptions from the radical idiots of this world!

Funny things, weddings - they’re capable of fracturing the most cynical of hearts! Personally, I’ve never been one for the ostentatious pomp, fuss and ado, or for the excess expenditure, or the frilly, fussy, frou-frou gowns.

In the four years before moving to this hilltop I was the chef at a restaurant-function house wherein weddings were major weekend activities! (And I continued this practice for some time after relocating to my present address, before coming to my senses!!!)

During those four years barely a weekend passed without a wedding reception being the main event on my catering agenda. There were times, too, that I had to feed the madding wedding crowds of more than one celebration on a weekend. Much to my annoyance, I even had to show up for one such performance on the millennium - 1st January, 2000! Ouch! That one hurt!

I’ve lost count of how many weddings I’ve catered for over the years. Some are more memorable than others; some unforgettable, but not in a good way! On one occasion two over-zealous, bossy (think “arrogant”) bridesmaids prefaced the ceremony by insisting on dancing (?) down the garden path that led to the arbor! I still shake my head when recalling that apparition! And this was performed long before the current rush of wedding party members cavorting down the aisles that we are seeing on YouTube etc., these days!

Many couples chose to conduct their ceremony beneath the jasmine-clad arbor set romantically amongst the beautifully-manicured garden; its lavish green lawns embraced the banks of Gympie's Mary River in the background.

As in all things - each to their own – but I’m the “less is more” kind when it comes to weddings. However, it goes without saying really, if you’re looking for me on the 29th April, you’ll know where to find me!

Now - where did I leave my trumpet?

Smoked Salmon Boats: Combine 150g smoked salmon,chopped, 150g mascarpone and 1/2tsp chopped dill; season with lemon juice and ground pepper; spoon into pastry boats. Garnish with strips of smoked salmon and dill or capers.

Pastry Boats: Process 185g plain flour and 90g butter with pinch salt until resembles breadcrumbs. With motor running, add 1 egg yolk and about 1tbl iced water to make dough. Turn onto floured surface; knead lightly until smooth; wrap; chill 10mins. Roll out 3mm thick between 2 sheets greaseproof paper. Remove paper; place pastry over lightly-buttered boat moulds; cut excess pastry away; prick bases; place on tray; bake at 190C, 10-12mins.

Avocado-Oyster Boats: Mash 1 avocado; season with lemon juice, salt and ground pepper; spoon into pastry boats; top each with an oyster. Sprinkle with finely-chopped chilli and coriander.

Prawn Bloody Mary: Drizzle 15 large prawns with 1tbl olive oil; season; place on baking sheet; roast in preheated 200C oven, 6-8mins, turn once; cool. Sauce: combine juice 1 lemon, 1 can pureed tomatoes, 2tbls horseradish, 2tbls Worcestershire sauce, 2tsp Tabasco, 1/2c ice-cold vodka, salt and ground pepper. Serve; put tablespoon sauce in ceramic Chinese serving spoons; top with a prawn and julienned celery stick.

Brie Puffs: Preheat oven 200C. Cut 1 sheet puff pastry into 16 squares; put squares into cups of mini muffin tins; prick bases; bake until puffed and golden; cool. Whip together using beater, 240g brie, 1/4c cream and 1tbl honey until fluffy; put in piping bag with star tip; pipe mixture onto pastry cups; drizzle with little honey; serve at room temperature.

IN YOUR EASTER BONNET WITH ALL THE FRILLS UPON IT!

Please don’t tell me you’ve put rabbit on your Easter menu! The chocolate variety is permitted, of course! My Lindt bunny remains unsullied in my fridge, his safe haven for the past three years. He’s pretty chilled knowing he’ll live out his days unmolested! I’ve not the heart to upset his apple cart!

Once upon a time when I was young and carefree it was a given that Easter weekends were spent at the coast. My friends and I high-tailed it at the end of work on Easter Thursdays armed and ready for sun-blessed, fun-filled days and Record Hops that went all night long! Between sunbathing/baking and wave-catching we managed to squeeze in a little sleep!

I’ve enjoyed wonderful Easters; some more interesting than others!

One Easter on Newry Island brought not only boatloads of guests, but also a koala! Unperturbed by the holidaymakers, he sleepily set up camp in a tree fork at the start of the track that crossed the island.

Back in the early Eighties I spent an Easter in Biggenden -

(Biggenden is a town situated on the Isis Highway in southern Queensland, Australia, 339 km north-west of the state capital Brisbane, and 84 km west of Maryborough. At the 2006 census, Biggenden had a population of 644.

Primary production is the most significant industry in the Shire with beef and dairy cattle being predominant. Other agricultural pursuits include grain crops, piggeries, peanuts, citrus and timber. The area is also rich in minerals. Biggenden Mine is located eight kilometres out of town off Ban Ban Springs Road. Gold, bismuth and more recently magnetite have been extracted from the mine. The township is also close to Coalstoun Lakes National Park and Mount Walsh National Park.

Biggenden was founded in 1889 as a service centre to the short-lived goldrush towns of Paradise and Shamrock; and for coach passengers travelling west from Maryborough. The township, including the intriguingly named Live And Let Live Inn, moved to a new location alongside the railway station when the rail line arrived in 1891.

Opting for a tree change, friends sold their Peregian Beach business. Executing a 180 degree turn, they became country publicans after purchasing the last standing pub in Biggenden;(as per pic above) the town’s other pub burned to the ground shortly before their arrival! Within weeks, their cook unexpectedly abandoned them. Left stranded, they called upon my services to assist in the interim; the “interim” expanded to four weeks!

Eager to take the bull by the horns, I grabbed the opportunity, thinking it’d be for a few days at most. I had a ball in Biggenden, and had no regrets about my extended stay!

ANZAC Day fell during my tenure. With breakfast completed, lunch preparations under control and apron discarded, into the main street of Biggenden I raced to watch the parade. To my dismay, I was the lone spectator with not another in sight! The marchers generously showed their gratitude by rewarding my attendance with their bright smiles. I reciprocated with applause!

Another year, when driving north from Townsville I managed to get caught in the middle of Ingham’s ANZAC parade!

During Easter and ANZAC Day, let’s not forget their true meanings. As we enjoy family gatherings and other pleasures let’s take time to reflect upon those who’ve suffered this year at the destructive hands of Mother Nature, both here and overseas. Let’s also not forget the men and women of our Armed Forces, present and past.

And as “Thumper’s” mother sagely advised: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say ‘nothing’ at all!” She was one positive bunny even if she did believe in double negatives! Have a safe and Happy Easter, everyone!

Easter Brunch Eggs: Preheat oven 200C; line tray with baking paper. Cook diced bacon until crisp; drain. Slice end off tomatoes; scoop out flesh. Place 1tsp butter inside; bake 3mins; place bacon in each tomato; crack 1 egg into each; sprinkle 1tbls grated cheese over each egg; return to oven approx 10mins.

Baked Eggs & Bacon: Liberally grease ramekins with butter; place 6 quartered cherry tomatoes in ramekins; season lightly. Sprinkle grated sharp cheese on tomatoes; break 2 eggs into each ramekin; sprinkle over chopped parsley and herbs of choice; drizzle 2tbls cream over eggs; top with grated cheese and crisp, chopped bacon; bake at 175C, 20-25mins.

Easter Lamb: Grab 2 boned lamb breasts; lay breasts, skin side down, on work surface; cut in half lengthways. Preheat oven 220C. Stuffing: cook 1 chopped onion, crushed garlic, 1tsp thyme, 1tsp chopped rosemary in 2tbls olive oil, 4mins. Transfer to bowl; add 100g lamb mince and 100g fresh white breadcrumbs; season; mix well; spoon stuffing down centre of 2 breast halves; lay other halves on top of the stuffed halves; tie with string at 4cm intervals to make 2 sausage shapes; season; place in oven tray; roast 20mins; lower temp to 180C; cook 1-1/2hours; rest 15mins before carving.

Bunny Hop: Combine 2tsp cherry liqueur, 1tsp choc syrup, 40ml dark Crème de Cacao, 10ml vodka; add crushed ice; garnish with mint leaves.

PADDY, MULLIGAN, GUINNESS AND “COL CANNON’S” PARTY DAY!

17th March.....

St. Patrick’s Day was first observed in Boston in 1737 by Irish immigrants, not in Ireland as one would imagine!

Paddy was too busy ridding Ireland of snakes to party! His thoughtless actions impress me not, to be sure! Not having the good manners to ask us if we wanted them, he expelled all the Emerald Isle’s snakes to our shores! It isn’t what I’d call a saintly act! Erroneously Patrick gave no thought to his careless tactic - extremely antagonistic! You can’t even blame the Irish sense of humour for such an antic! Patrick wasn’t Irish! Therein folks the problem does recline!

Paddy, prove your goodwill is genuine! A favour is owed! Come on Down Under, Paddy! Repeat the deed once again, but in reverse this time! Paddy, me lad! Another miracle is overdue!

I’ll even throw a barbecue! Not at you (although I should), but in your honour! It’ll be on the house - well, on the verandah! I dislike heights almost as much as I abhor snakes!


The Irish were slow off the mark in giving you a party, Paddy! It surely was a long time between drinks from the 400s until 1737! This surprises me! Such a lengthy delay is out of character for the Irish!

Not to Harp on it, but perhaps Jameson Whiskey had to come of age first! Couldn’t Cooper find enough trees to lop to make the barrels? Was old Guinness so stout he needed to trim down before celebrations could begin? Maybe Mulligan was too busy practicing his golf swing (golfers will understand), or “Col Cannon” was too engrossed in pickling his cabbage and shallots in cream before tossing in dollops of butter at completion to consider wasting his energy on frivolous pastimes? Whatever the reasons, the Irish worldwide (and those who become Irish for this one day of the year) have since made up for the lack of celebrations prior to those conceived by the Bostonian-Irish who swilled swags of Smithwick’s and kicked up their heels in an inaugural jig!

One day celebrating old Paddy I added green mashed potatoes to the restaurant menu. When presented with his meal an excited little boy’s eyes lit up like beacons. Upon taking his first mouthful, his eyes sprung open in shocked horror! His naïve expectations were crushed by one foul morsel! He’d thought it was lime ice-cream, the poor misguided little tyke!

It was his introduction to life’s disappointments! He had to start somewhere! Happy to oblige!

Never iron a four-leaf clover; you don’t want to press your luck!

Back-To-Front Irish Beef Kebabs: Cut 1kg beef into cubes; heat oil in pan; add beef; add 2 tbls plain flour, 20 whole garlic cloves, salt and pepper. Add onions, cut into eighths. Cook until onions are translucent and beef browned. Add 1 can of Guinness and 2tbls tomato puree. Place in 175C oven, 15mins or so. Skewer cooked beef, onions and garlic. Serve with Green Goddess dressing/dip – blend 1/2c mayo, 1/2c sour cream, 1/4c chopped shallots, 2tbl chopped chives, 2tbls chopped parsley, 1tbl anchovy paste, 1tbl lemon juice, salt and pepper.

Cabbage Nests: Boil whole cabbage leaves until just limp; remove; dip into cold water; dry. Prepare mashed spuds; add cooked, crisp bacon pieces, crushed garlic, grated cheese and chopped shallots. Line muffin tin with cupcake liners; spray with oil; wrap cabbage inside liners to form a nest; cut smaller piece of cabbage; lay on bottom of liner; add mashed spuds; sprinkle with grated cheese. Bake at 175C until crispy.

Guinness Honey-Glazed Pork: Put 300ml Guinness, 100ml honey and 250g brown sugar in pan; reduce to almost half to a syrupy glaze; cool. Season 2kg skinless, boneless loin pork; roast 20mins at 180C; reduce heat 140C. Remove pork from oven; brush with most of the glaze; cook 40-50mins; baste. Remove from oven; rest. Pour remaining glaze into pan; add splash of white wine or water; boil; simmer 4-5mins. Serve pork slices on colcannon; top with syrup.

Irish Eyes: Shake with ice, 30ml Irish Whiskey, 10ml Crème de Menthe, 60ml cream; garnish with Maraschino cherries. The Shamrock: Mix ½ shot Irish whiskey, 1 shot of Vermouth, 3 dashes each Crème de Menthe and Green Chartreuse.

Up behind my childhood home in Gympie was a magical garden overrun with emus, kangaroos, koalas and other iconic Aussie creatures - Warnie excluded! (For those who may not know who "Warnie" is - he's an Aussie ex-top cricketer whose latest

Gympie is a hilly town; the property mentioned nestled snugly on the side of a hill “up behind” our place; we weren’t in a gully, but were situated on a lesser incline, one street over. The garden art, topiary, was the result of the creative mind and skillful hands of Pat Rafter’s grandfather. Pat’s mother, Jocelyn and her brother Lloyd played “cowboys and Indians” and “cops and robbers” amongst their mystical landscape. Throughout my first year of high school my heart fluttered like a butterfly when Lloyd passed by. He was (still is) a few years older than I. In my active childish imagination (it’s still actively childish) he looked like Audie Murphy with a Tony Curtis twist. Fringed by lush black lashes his arrestingly attractive eyes were not unlike those of the young Curtis! He was what one calls “pretty”, but in a decidedly boyish way! How did I jump on board this rambling, rattling train of thought? Special meals I remember started it; not that you would’ve guessed! My mind frequently meanders in mysterious, questionable ways! I’ve enjoyed some unforgettable meals; one of which was a sumptuous roast pork repast in 1975; a piece of shoulder pork, as sweet, juicy, tasty and tender as fresh crabmeat! Another was a splendid plump rump steak feast my brother and I shared 1994 when I called Townsville home. King Island rump - so tender it could be cut with a fork! I dare to pronounce it was the best steak I’ve ever had! I salivate still at its memory! With mouths agape and accompanying “ooohs” and “aahhs”, we savoured the moment before attacking our meal with lustful gusto. The best mud crab feast I’ve had (and I’ve had many) was beneath a sparkling starlit tropical sky with the tray of the Hinchinbrook ute as our table! Unashamedly unladylike with crab juices running down my chin and icy Heinekens nearby, paradise was within reach! Dougie, a pro-fisherman from whom I bought barra, mackerel and muddies gifted me, for my personal consumption, six large, full bucks! My chef cooked them for me – a treat in itself! Bernie, one of my staff joined me in the “muddy-green grenade” demolition! My fourth birthday cake holds a unique position of historical importance for me - an ice-cream cake! The moment remains vivid when, with a smile on her lovely face and her rich auburn hair in a fashionable coiffure, my mother appeared before me bearing my surprise! Do we own our memories or do they own us?

Bestest-Ever Rump: Marinade:- 1/2c olive oil, 1tbl grated ginger, 2 crushed garlic cloves, a dash each of soy and Worcestershire sauce and 1tsp seeded mustard; add 2 thick rump steaks; marinate 1-2 hours. Drain; grill or pan-fry as desired. Rest steak on warm plate; cover with foil. Sauté a handful of halved Swiss Brown mushrooms in butter; add 2tbls each thyme, chopped garlic, chives and shallots; add splash of white wine or brandy; add some marinade to the pan; reduce by half; add 1/2c cream; cook 2-3mins. Serve with tossed salad and mashed garlic potatoes. Cider Vinegar Pork: Place casserole on high heat; add 5g butter and 1tbl oil. Brown 900g 2.5cm cubes of pork shoulder, a few at a time. Add another 5g butter and 1tbl oil to casserole; add 12 pearl onions; brown; add 150ml cider vinegar; stir, scraping base and sides; return meat/onions; add 4 thyme sprigs and 1 bay leaves; season; simmer; transfer uncovered to 170C oven - 1-1/4hr. Remove pork and onions; toss herbs; put casserole on heat; reduce liquid to half; whisk in 1.5tbls sour cream; add pork. Choccy-Treat Ice-Cream Cake: Leave 1lt vanilla ice-cream at room temp, 10mins. Chop 1 Mars Bar, 1 Cherry Ripe and 1 Violet Crumble bar into pieces in bowl; add ice-cream; mix well; spoon into round non-stick cake tin; freeze. Invert onto plate; decorate with grated chocolate, glacé cherries and crumbled honeycomb. Lee George

BEAUTY IS.....

There are some who leave an indelible impression upon us; others come and go leaving not even a shadow.

One day when living on Newry Island I had the good fortune to share time with a lovely lady. She’d come to the island for a day trip along with her granddaughter and her friends; the latter group intent on hiking across the island. Not up to the arduous task the young folk had in mind the lady asked if she could just sit quietly while they exhausted their youthful energy. Dropping tools, I decided to join my unexpected, dignified guest.

Sitting at an outdoor table, we chatted over a pot of tea, our view being picture-perfect sylvan islands loitering on a viridescent ocean like irresistible sirens. A cornflower blue sky interrupted by feather-like wistful clouds caressing the far horizon played host to a radiant tangerine sun. A courteous sea breeze barely disturbed the she-oaks and palms guarding the foreshore.

My intriguing elderly guest told me of her life in Papua New Guinea as a young married woman shortly after the Second World War. Alone into an undeveloped, mysterious land she ventured to join her husband who had already been living there a few months ahead of her arrival. By light aircraft she’d flown; a sole passenger into the highlands of PNG. Set down in a clearing in the midst of the dense tropical jungle she was left to her own devices to find her way to where her husband was posted. It has slipped my mind how it came about she had to make that unknown journey alone, but alone she did conquer the hazardous trek to the waiting arms of her young husband.

Enthralled by the charming woman sitting across from me, and engrossed in her fascinating narrative, I listened in captivated silence. Moments passed with no words exchanged. We’d become lost within our own thoughts. Like a soothing lullaby, the measured lapping of the ocean upon the shore settled us into a sense of peaceful harmony.

Contemplatively the lady interrupted our reverie. “We effortlessly grow weary of all this, you know,” she said, alerting my attention. “We complacently take for granted the beauty,” she continued, sweeping her arms across the vista before us. “It’s of no consequence. It’s unseen, unappreciated. It’s invisible. Our eyes are blind to it; our mind, unreceptive. We get on with our lives ignorant of what’s occurred. Beauty surrounds us, but we no longer recognise it. We underestimate its value. We must be wary! Like many things…we only appreciate their worth after they’re gone.”


Filet de Boeuf Beaujolais: Trim 6x5cm-thick beef fillets. Sauce: Melt 2tsps butter; sauté 1tsp finely-chopped eschallots until golden; add ground pepper, ½ bay leaf, 1 sprig thyme and 200ml Beaujolais/shiraz; boil; reduce rapidly to 2tbls; add 200ml demi-glace; cook over low heat 15mins; strain. Off heat, beat in 30g butter; gently mix in 60g fresh beef marrow; set aside in warm place. Fillets: Melt 2tbls butter and 1tbl olive oil in heavy pan; quickly sauté fillets on both sides; sprinkle with salt and pepper as you cook it as desired. Place fillets on warm plates; spoon sauce into pan, whisk in 50g butter; pour over meat; arrange a slice of marrow (or slice of garlic-parsley butter) on each fillet; sprinkle with chopped parsley.

Orange-Blueberry Dessert: Peel 4 navel oranges; remove pith; cut rind into strips; reserve; slice oranges horizontally. Make syrup by bringing 100ml water and 100g sugar to boil; add 90ml cassis; boil 2mins; cool. Pour half the syrup over orange slices and half over 1 punnet blueberries; refrigerate several hours. Blanch orange rind 3 times, change water each time. Make second syrup with 200ml water and 200g sugar; boil; add 50ml cassis; add blanched rind to boiling syrup; simmer until rind is translucent red and has candied, about 20mins. Remove rind; cool syrup; store rind in cooled syrup until ready to use. Assemble macerated fruit on plates with spoonfuls of syrup; garnish with candied peel and spoonfuls of sweetened mascarpone on the side.

CORRUPTION IN A D-CUP! IT’S NOT AN UPLIFTING TALE!

Trisha Reschke - Miss Australia 1962



















































Before Germaine Greer who, with one foul, targeted stroke castrated the male population; before burning bras became a misguided habit; before political correctness extended beyond extreme; when we still espied our “p’s” and “q’s”, dotted our “i’s”, crossed our ‘t’s” and never dreamed of dropping the “g” when saying “going” or “mowing”; when we respected our elders and those in authority; before “MasterChef”; there was a charitable national Quest known as “The Miss Australia Quest”. The Quest ran from 1908 to 2000.

In 1953, Bernard Dowd, chief of Hickory Lingerie, respected maker of bras (how germane, Germaine) and other ladies’ intimate apparel brought new style and verve to the competition. Dowd’s vision was to couple the fundraising efforts to the Australian Cerebral Palsy Association. Between 1954 and 2000 more than $90m was raised by the Miss Australia Quest for the Association. In 1963, three friends and I were approached to enter the Quest to represent the Gympie area. We felt proud to participate and had much fun raising funds.

A chaperone tutored entrants on etiquette, make-up, fashion, public speaking and general public behaviour. Ironically, amongst the gifts presented to each of us upon entering the Quest was a carton on “Country Life” cigarettes! How times have changed!

Deviously, political correctness bared its teeth and flexed its muscles in 1991 when Miss Australia was officially “crowned” for the last time. The Miss Australia Quest was renamed the Miss Australia “Awards”. And then, not wanting to miss out on the enjoyment, the male population began a merry jig! Debate over their inclusion caused dissent and uplifted eyebrows in 1993! Following a few petulant tantrums, the men got their way! One of their gang raised the most money in 1997, but the crown wasn’t elevated above his “short, back and sides” cranium. In lieu, he only received a fundraising title. No Hickory Shaper Control briefs or underwire bras for him!

The annual financial cost of cerebral palsy (CP) in Australia is over $1.5billion.

The Miss Australia Quest was a viable, dignified method of raising funds for CP.

Simultaneously, it raised public awareness. However, the selfish, short-sighted politically-correct mob and the feminist bra-burning brigade joined forces causing an unnecessary, piteous storm in a D-cup - and the end of the Quest!

Hickory Dickory Dock – stupidity is a crock!

Lettuce Cups with Pork Croquettes: Salsa: Combine 3 diced tomatoes, ½ diced mango, 1/2c diced Lebanese cucumber, 1c chopped parsley, 1-½ capsicums, diced, juice of ½ lemon, 2tbls x-virgin olive oil, ½ red onion, diced, 1tsp sugar, salt, pepper; refrigerate. Croquettes: Combine 150g minced pork, 80g diced chives, 3 chopped water chestnuts, 1tbl chopped bok choy and 3 lightly-beaten eggs. Marinate 30mins; heat oil in pan; take 1tbl of mixture, fry until golden. Place salsa in lettuce cups; add a croquette to each; use your hands!

5-Cup Fruit Cup: Combine 1c each drained fruit cocktail, mandarin segments and pineapple pieces; fold in 1c sour cream and 1/2c shredded coconut; chill; add 1c mini marshmallows before serving.

Cake in a Cup: To a coffee mug add 4tbls plain flour, 4tbls sugar and 2tbls cocoa; mix well; add 1 egg; mix thoroughly; add 3tbls milk and 3tbls oil or apple sauce; mix well; add 3tbl chocolate chips and a dash of vanilla; mix again. Place in microwave - 3mins at 1000W. Cake will rise over top of mug.

Choc-Chilli Cupcakes: Sift 100g S.R flour, 50g cocoa, 1tsp chilli powder, 1/2ts baking powder, 1tsp cinnamon, 1/2tsp each cardamom and nutmeg and pinch of salt. Combine 2 eggs with 2tbls strong black coffee and vanilla. Cream 100g butter and 100g sugar; blend in egg mix; fold through the dry ingredients. Add 2tbls milk if needed to make a soft texture. Put 12 cupcake wrappers on a tray; drop mixture into each one. Bake 12-15mins, 180C. Icing: Beat 1/4c butter with 240g cream cheese; add 55g melted dark chocolate, pinch of salt, icing sugar, some cream and vanilla; beat until smooth.

COUNTING DOWN! A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND AN EXTRAORDINARLY HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!!

Please tell me I’m dreaming! It can’t be THAT time of the year again! Surely not, Shirley! We’ve not had Easter yet, have we? Didn’t we just celebrate New Year’s Eve? I must have slept through my alarm! Does this mean I have to start planning my Christmas fare - again?

“Fare” - a word of various meanings, one of which describes what awaits us just around the corner following a few more sleeps! How come one little word is allowed many meanings? Is that fair? I might charge a fare for a place at my Christmas table, and then I’ll fare well. Will you feel it’s fair if you have to pay a fare to share my festive fare? I have to find a way to pay for the appetising fare, somehow! It’ll be a grand affair, I promise! Charging a fare may not fare well with you, however, if that be the case, I bid you farewell!

I believe I’m offering a fair deal! All’s fair in the fare game, or all fare is fair game!

My Christmas cake is already made. For the past few weeks I’ve pretended that it’s not sitting just over there on my table, its deliciously rich aroma torments me, say and night. It beckons me wickedly when I pass by! Desperately I’m trying to ignore its siren call, and not succumb to temptation. Unconsciously, my hand reaches out for the nearest knife, but I have to sit on it (my hand, not the knife) to stop me from attacking the cake! Oh! Willpower, do not forsake me just yet!

Already the licorice allsorts I bought have gone by the way of all delicious licorice allsorts! They just don’t keep these days, do they? I have to buy more, but I’ll leave that chore until Christmas Eve - to be on the safe side! It’s a sticky situation when I can’t trust myself!

I bought a pair of blinkers to wear each time I venture into IGA between now and Christmas! They were on sale after Melbourne Cup Day! If you run into me at the supermarket and I start neighing, just give me a nudge or a whack on the rump!

No matter how often I tell myself that I’m not going to go overboard on the fabulous fare on offer, my resolve dissolves when I spy the exquisite goodies - hence the need for blinkers!

Fare thee well my co-conspirators! Sweet dreams until Santa's visit - the countdown has begun!

Barbecued Mud Crab: Cut 2x1kg mud crabs into four; crack claws; place quarters in air-tight container with 190ml olive oil, 70ml lemon juice, 4 crushed garlic cloves, 1 sliced red onion, 1tsp chilli flakes, sea salt and freshly-ground pepper; toss to combine; cover. Marinate in fridge 1hr; toss occasionally. Heat barbecue to med-high; cook crab 10-15mins; turn regularly. When cooked sprinkle with lemon-salt: Combine 1tbl sea salt with 1tbl finely-grated lemon zest.

Seafood Salad: Remove and discard heads of 250g baby octopus; rinse well the rest of the baby octopus in saucepan over med-heat briefly. Bring 3/4c white wine to boil with 9 peppercorns and 6 parsley sprigs; add octopus; cook 1-2mins; add 300g peeled green prawns, tails intact and 10 scallops; cook 2-3mins. Remove seafood from liquid; cool in bowl; reserve liquid. Toss 12 oysters through seafood; drizzle with lemon juice, olive oil and 1-2tsp reserved liquid; serve with garlic-rubbed grilled sourdough.

Baked Pickled Pork: Ask your friendly butcher politely to pickle a 3kg rolled joint or leg of pork (give him a few days notice - it’s a cheaper substitute for ham). Put pork into pot with 2 onions, 2 celery stalks, 2 carrots, peppercorns, cloves; add a mixture of water, vinegar and dry mustard just to cover pork; cover pot; bake in 170C oven – 3 hours; turn after 1-1/2hrs. Cool in liquid 1hr; transfer to bowl; put greaseproof paper on top, then a weighted plate; chill until next day.

Walnut Ginger Shortbread: Preheat oven 135C. Cream 340g butter and 150g sugar until pale; add 420g plain flour, pinch salt, 150g very finely-chopped crystallised ginger and 200g very finely-chopped walnuts; mix until just combined; don’t overwork. Roll out to 4mm thick on lightly-floured surface; cut into shapes; place on lined baking trays; bake 15mins; cook without colouring; cool on racks.

Mango Daiquiri: Put 50ml white rum, 2tbs sugar syrup, juice of ½ lime and 2 pureed mango cheeks into shaker with crushed ice; shake well; strain into tall glass.

A BIRD IN THE HAND, ETC., ETC!

All the discussion, dissertation, commentary, criticism and banter presently going back, forth,lengthways and sideways over males wearing “budgie smugglers” are downright trite, a mite righteous and quite annoying!

If such arguments arose when I was a teenager, they were easily solved! My girlfriends and I just wouldn’t talk to or mix with guys who didn’t wear Speedos on the beach! It was as simple as that – no discourse necessary! Fellows who didn’t sport “budgie smugglers” we ignored. They were minor blimps on the horizon! Our interest lay elsewhere.

Obviously it meant they weren’t lifesavers, and therefore not worthy of our undivided attention. Such a fellow was of a different breed. He was the one portrayed as the “Before” in the Charles Atlas Exercise Programme advertisements!

When we frolicked along the golden beaches of Mooloolaba, Alexandra Headlands and Noosa Heads in our “itsy-bitsy, teeny weeny yellow polka-dot bikinis”; when we body-surfed while counting in wait to hitch a ride on the seventh wave, we knew our safety was in the capable hands of the lifesavers, all of whom confidently wore the now unfairly much-maligned “budgie smugglers”! The bronzed lifesavers were not only our heroes, but our friends, as well!

My brother was a Noosa lifesaver, as was my first husband. Both wore their “budgie smugglers” proudly and unashamedly, as did their fellow club members. None of them would be seen dead catching a wave, rowing the surf boat or parading in a March Past in anything less, or anything more!

Sure…such attire didn’t allow room for a packed lunch or wallet storage, but the Surf Club and the pub upon the hill offered meals, and surfing was no charge!

“Budgie smugglers” were first designed in 1960, and were a hit immediately. They are a functional garment, and shouldn’t be turned into something controversial or embarrassing, nor should they be feared!

Naturally, it goes without saying that there are some bodies that should never be allowed out on public display wearing “budgie smugglers”! Cast your eyes sideways, look upwards to the heavens, or run for cover if it’s your bad luck to stumble across such frightening, tasteless spectres!

Heavenly Quail: Crush 1tbl coriander root, 5 whole white peppercorns and 2 garlic cloves in a mortar & pestle; add 4tbls palm sugar and 3tbls soy sauce; transfer to plate. Lightly crush 2tbls coriander seeds. Open 2 quail along spine; leave legs and wings intact; take out rib cage bones. Rub coriander root mix over quail. Press quail into soy mixture. Crust quail with crushed coriander seeds; rest in fridge for 3hrs.Deep fry quail 5mins. Cut in half.

Place on plate; serve with Sauce: Finely chop 1 small chilli, 20 basil leaves, 1 garlic clove and ½ bunch coriander leaves; add juice of 1 lime and a little peanut oil.

Apricot Quail: Sauce: Heat 1/2c apricot jam, 1/4c finely-chopped dried apricots, 1/4c dry white wine, 1tbls honey and 1tsp Worcestershire sauce over low heat; stir until jam melts; set aside. Heat oven - 200C. Wrap a bacon rasher around each of 6 quails; place, breast side up, an1-inch apart on rack in roasting pan; roast, uncovered 30mins.

Brush generously with sauce; roast a further 15-20mins. Serve quail with remaining heated sauce.

Lemon-Roasted Quail: Cu down backbone only of 3 quail and “spread-eagle” the bird. Marinade: Combine 1/2tsp salt, 1/2tsp cracked pepper, 1tsp tamarind sauce, 1/2tsp fish sauce, 2tsp peanut oil, 1tsp honey or maple syrup, 2 crushed garlic cloves, 1 finely-chopped spring onion and 1 stalk lemongrass, finely-chopped.

Rub quail inside and out with marinade; refrigerate 24-30hrs. Bring to room temperature before cooking. Preheat oven 180C. Place par-boiled potato segments into roasting pan with some oil; don’t season; put in oven. Heat frying pan; add a little butter and oil; heat until smoky; place quail in pan one at a time, skin side up; brown 1min either side; transfer quails to the roasting pan holding the potato segments; cook in oven 20-25mins.

Rest quail 10-15mins. Serve with potato wedges, steamed Asian greens and lemon wedges.

"F" IS FOR EFFORT!

Effort: noun. Strenuous exertion: display of power: something accomplished involving concentration or special activity.

Frequently on rainy, frosty mornings snuggled warmly in bed under my feather doona, I forestall rising. I have to exert an excessive effort to extract myself from its fold!

I have a weakness – “Only one!” I hear you declare flabbergasted! At times I flounder at holding my tongue. I fail to bite it or foreclose its flourish when in the presence of some folk. In my favour, most times I force myself to grin and bear it!

I do experience embarrassing times when it’s an effort to keep a straight face! It happens at the most inappropriate times and places! What is a “straight face”? Faces are made up of protuberances, curves and slopes! By the time we “keep our tongue in our cheek”; “keep our chin (or chins) up”; try not to “lose face” or “keep a stiff upper lip”, one’s face would certainly be very animated and active! It would definitely take an effort to keep it “straight”!

Fostering and forging friendships should never be an effort, nor should it be an effort to be pleasant. However, as mentioned above there are some who make it hard for one to be forever felicitous!

We’ve all fidgeted and feigned attention when forced to attend boring seminars! We’ve wrestled to listen to never-ending laborious speakers. Those times we’ve found ourselves furiously fighting our feral eyelids in faltering attempts to fend off falling asleep! Those efforts, fervently directed at keeping said eyelids open are usually fruitlessly feeble! The well-meaning/self-indulgent emissions of the orator are wasted upon our otherwise occupied feverish, fitful selves!

Christmas is fast approaching! A few amongst us shall be in a flap when confronted with that other “F-word”- “family”! If forced to become a fellow- participant in such a frazzled family festivity/fiasco, attempt to forage all efforts to keep a lid on festering feelings of angst created by past fracture-causing misconceptions or fetishes, whether they be one’s own fault or the fault of others (mostly it’s “the fault of others” - they’re the ones fraught with foibles who are failures at making an “effort”)!

Don’t fret! No need to fabricate - there are many favourable “F-words” - like “fun” and “food”, for instance!

Fortunately, you can have your fill of both!

It’s no folly or fallacy!

Fennel Seed Dip: Beat 1/2tsp fennel seeds and 1c softened cream cheese together; add 1c sour cream; blend in 1/4c minced onion, salt, pepper and 1tsp paprika; cover; chill.

Falafel Burgers: Put 1/4c fine dry breadcrumbs in dish; set aside. Process 450g can rinsed, drained chickpeas, 1/2c chopped onion, 2 garlic cloves and 1tsp cumin until coarsely ground; add 2tbls plain flour and 1/4c chopped parsley. Shape mixture into 4 patties: brush with milk; coat in breadcrumbs. In nonstick pan, cook patties in hot oil over med-heat, 8-10mins or until lightly browned. To serve; Cut pita breads in half horizontally; fill halves with patties, cucumber and tomato slices; drizzle with Ranch dressing.

Feta-Prawn Linguine: In pan, heat 2tbls olive oil over med-heat. Add 500g prawns, 5 minced garlic cloves, 2tbls chopped shallots, 1/2c red capsicum strips, cracked black pepper, pinch of dried chilli and 1tbl dry white wine; cook 5mins; remove prawns; set aside. Cook 2 chopped tomatoes with 1tsp oregano and 2tsp torn fresh basil in wine mixture for 10mins. Cook 450g linguine until al dente; drain; toss hot pasta with prawns and sauce; add 180g crumbled feta.

Farmhouse Honey Fruit Cake: Cream 175g butter, 175g honey and zest of 1 lemon until light and fluffy; gradually add 3 lightly-beaten eggs; fold in 2c wholemeal flour, 2tsp baking powder and 1tsp mixed spice. Stir in 300g mixed fruit, 50g chopped dried apricots and 25g ground almonds. Pour into greased, lined 20cm cake pan; make slight hollow in centre; arrange blanched almonds around edge; bake in preheated 160C oven 2-2.5hrs; cool in pan 10mins before turning out.

Fine & Dandy Cocktail: Over ice, shake 1 dash Bitters, ½ nip Triple Sec, juice of ¼ lemon and 1.5 nips gin; strain into cocktail glass; decorate with a cherry – fabulous!

WHAT CAME FIRST – THE MOLECULE, THE ATOM, THE EGG OR ADAM?

“MasterChef” kitchen doors are bolted. The curtains are drawn. Its blinds are shuttered for another year. The freezers have defrosted; its refrigerators de-chilled. Overworked gas ranges are switched off; cluttered stainless steel benches bare and cleaned to glistening new again; the oil and food-splattered floor, swept and mopped. The pantry, finally devoid of stock, takes a breather before the next influx of contenders.

Matt dispatched his cravats to the dry cleaner, and, in the meantime, has joined Jenny Craig. Gary and George were last seen riding off on the red scooter to “The Press Club” for dinner! Elvis has left the building - and we’re left with a gap in our television viewing!

Like millions of others, once again I became engrossed in the show. Night after night I experienced jaw-dropping moments and edge-of-the-seat panic as the clock mercilessly ticked away, considering no one. I growled in frustration when Callum let the custard boil over and burn; couldn’t believe my eyes and cringed at Aaron’s scone-making efforts; laughed along with Alvin’s humorous comments (he’d make a fortunate marketing his white-rimmed glasses); empathised with the tears and disappointments; shook my head at the “accident-waiting-to-happen” Jake. He shouldn’t be allowed near a knife - ever! I shuddered every time I saw him pick up a knife or tried to shuck an oyster! And he wants to open a seafood stall (or has done so, I read somewhere)! That's a worry!

I felt the pride of achievement and the thrill of the challenge. A lot of what this year’s contestants had to produce the majority of us wouldn’t even dream of attempting in our home kitchens, me included! However, it was interesting to learn about molecular gastronomy. I felt it an honour to watch one of the geniuses of that method, Heston Blumenthal, the self-taught chef and owner of “The Fat Duck”. I can imagine how the contestants felt being in his presence. Jonathan’s reaction with a smile as wide as the Great Australian Bight said it all! “The Fat Duck” is a three-Michelin star restaurant in Berkshire. It was voted the Best Restaurant in the World in 2005, followed by the Best Restaurant in the UK in 2007 and 2009 – not bad for a cook! Many of the best cooks aren’t chefs! Two excellent examples are the iconic Maggie Beer and Stephanie Alexander!

Scotch Eggs with Hot Relish: Relish: Heat 1tbl olive oil in saucepan; add ½ red capsicum, finely chopped, 1 finely chopped small onion and garlic; cook until soft, not brown; add 400g diced canned tomatoes, 1tbl Worcestershire sauce, 1tbl tomato sauce, splash of Tabasco, 1/2tsp marjoram, 1tbl wholegrain mustard, 2tsp brown sugar; season; bring to boil; reduce heat; simmer 30mins or until thick. Scotch Eggs: To 650g minced pork or chicken, add 1tbl each chopped parsley and sage, 2tsp tomato paste, salt and pepper. Divide mixture into 6; dry 6 hard-boiled eggs with paper towels; roll in a little flour; with floured hands, flatten sausage meat into a round; place an egg in centre of each round; wrap meat around it; shape neatly. Lightly coat eggs with flour; dip into beaten eggs; roll in Panko breadcrumbs. Heat oil in deep pan; fry eggs, 10-15mins; drain well; cut in half; serve with relish. Egg Curry: Heat 3tbs oil; fry 1tbl grated ginger, 3 chopped garlic cloves, 2 chopped onions and 3 chopped tomatoes, 10mins; add 1tsp chilli, 1/2tsp turmeric; season; fry 5mins. Add 1c beaten yoghurt; bring to boil; reduce heat. Add 6 boiled eggs and 1tsp Garam Masala: cook until thick. Snow Eggs: Bring 2-1/2c milk to boil with 1 vanilla bean plus seeds and 6 ground green cardamom pods; stop heat; cover; infuse 30mins; filter; discard pods and vanilla bean; reheat to simmer. Separate 4 eggs; beat whites with a pinch of salt until almost firm; add 2tbls fine light brown sugar; beat 1min; drop large spoonfuls into simmering milk. Poach on each side 1min; remove; place on paper towel; set aside. Beat yolks with 1/2c light brown sugar until light and white in colour. Slowly pour in the warm milk, stirring; transfer to pot again; heat on med-low heat; stir constantly with wooden spoon until thick; don’t boil. Pour into serving goblets; cool; refrigerate; serve snow eggs on top; sprinkle with chopped, unsalted pistachios; top with spun sugar (if you want to fiddle about making it)! Lee George