THE MOTHER LODE…A MOTHER’S LOAD OF LOVE

Mother's Day Cards given by my brother and me to our Mum when we were very young

Nana at 18 years

Mum at Yeppoon Beach and at Rockhampton Circa late 1930s-early 1940s

Kirbys' Staff Party...Circa late 1930s...my mother at rear slight to right of wall plaque..pen-marked on her neck to point her out...probably done by her!

A letter of thanks from Kirby & Co. to my mother for one of the fashion parades

Letter of Reference for Elma, my mother

             

Mum Circa 1966

                                                                         

Nana, Easter 1967

                     

My mother, Elma...at 18 years of age

                                                                                                                                                         

                                                 A mother’s enchantment at baby’s first cry
                                                 Is a thrill no lavish amount of money can buy
                                                 Contentment absolute as it suckles her breast
                                                 Its grasp of her hand as she gently lays it to rest
                                                To experience baby’s smiles; its tremulous steps
                                                Indescribable exhilaration at baby’s first word 
                                                Excitement trying to decipher what was heard
                                                Gentle caresses while wiping away tears shed
                                                Anticipation of the future; of what lies ahead
                                                A mother’s love is complete and unconditional
                                                'Tis a love never-ending; love so inspirational
                                                                           (Poem written by me)

Songs are composed; portraits painted and poems written in praise of mothers; and deservedly so. 

My mother with her blue eyes, fiery auburn hair and quick temper to match was a character in every way.  Her Scots-Irish heritage didn’t let her down. Her deep-rooted Celtic ancestry served her admirably in times of adversity; as it did her mother. 

Nana (“Nana” with a single “n” in the appropriate spot is of Scottish-Gaelic origin) was never one to be taken lightly, either. Those so lacking in judgment to be fooled by Nana’s quiet, soothing manner quickly learned if they stepped out of line they faced a formidable foe. Nana’s calm demeanour once stirred by wrongdoing or misbehaviour flared in reaction. She was a loyal supporter of her daughter and of we children. However, she was never so blinded by her love for us not to reprimand when needed.  The values taught by Nana and Mum have lasted long through the years; no “use-by date” applies. Good manners and respect were instilled from an early age.

My older brother and I were raised by our mother and our grandmother.  An early example of “same-sex-parenting” one could say.  Our mother and father separated before I was born.  

I’m writing in honour of my mother and grandmother…for Mother’s Day….this is for Ivy, my Nana.... and her daughter, my mother....Elma.

There was no money to spare or to waste in our humble childhood home, but there was little we did without; if there was anything, we probably didn’t need it in the first place. We certainly didn’t sit around pining and groaning. 

Mum and Nana never tried “to keep up with the Joneses”; nor did they covet or envy what others had. I doubt they had a materialistic bone between them; more smart lessons for children to learn.

Independent individuals, Mum and Nana were generally self-sustaining.  They were each other’s best friend; their bond was unbreakable. Whatever life tossed at them they faced head on, together. They dealt with their own problems conquering each hurdle that hindered their way.

For only the briefest time in their lives were they ever apart. They stuck by each other through thick and thin; through the good times and the bad.  Nana’s strength of purpose helped her daughter, our mother, conquer some of the darkest, bleakest episodes in her life.  Nana, like a lioness, protected her family…her pride of whom she was very proud.

Nana and Mum minded their own business, never the business of others. Rarely did either whinge or moan; when they did it’d be about trivial matters of no import. Figuring it was a pointless waste of time they just got on with it believing there were enough complainers in the world already without them joining the mob. Complaining wasn’t in their vocabulary; neither was blindly following the deeds or thoughts of others.

They had their disagreements; it would have been abnormal not to have had opposing opinions on different matters; but they soon got over whatever stirred the pot; and life continued on; sometimes not as before once the air had been cleared.

I argued with Mum; but never with Nana.  I probably knew better than to step over Nana's line! 

The arguments I had with my mother never lasted for long; and our verbal stoushes were never nasty. We didn’t carry things on. Our disagreements were over and done with quickly, and we moved forward, putting whatever caused the angst behind us.  

Perhaps the words oft repeated by Nana stuck with us – “to never let the sun go down on your anger”.   

My older brother Graham and I were more fearful of Nana’s ire, than our mother’s.  We knew immediately just from “the look” on Nana’s face we’d gone too far; we quickly learned to pull our heads in, back off and start behaving ourselves before it was too late.  Surrender was the best course of action!

In our childish ignorance we thought we were clever enough to get away with more when around Mum, than with Nana.  We probably weren’t! Our mother just had a different way of dealing with us. 

I can’t remember ever being slapped by either Mum or Nana.  I remember the threats; the promises. They were enough for me.  I believed being hit wouldn’t be much fun. It didn't take me long to recognise where the demarcation lines were.

Mum’s pastimes when not working were gardening, fishing and crabbing.

She always looked her best when going out; whether to work or for pleasure - except when going fishing, of course!  

Graham and I frequently teased Mum about how long it took her to get ready to go out.  Her vibrant shoulder-length hair was always immaculately styled by her own hands. She always wore it up in a style befitting what was in vogue at the time. I can’t remember her ever going to a hairdresser.  She was adept at creating her individual styles. Her long fingernails were carefully manicured and polished; and her clothes always stylish, freshly-ironed and worn with grace.

My mother was born in Gympie, but when she was a toddler the family moved to Rockhampton; and it was there my brother and I were born years later.  A few years after our entrance into the world our small family unit moved back to Gympie. I was three years old and my brother, six years of age.

After leaving school Elma, my mother, worked for A.W.  Kirby & Co., Pty. Ltd., a fashion store in Rockhampton for a number of years.  She commenced in their employ on 28^th July, 1933; and the date her employment ceased with Kirbys was 22^nd April, 1941.  The reason she left was because the company retired from business.

Mum was also one of the company’s in-store mannequins, modelling the new season’s clothes in the fashion parades. Kirby’s was a major business in Rockhampton in those years.

Decades later, well into the Sixties, members of the Kirby family were still in contact with our mother at different intervals. Obviously, they held her in high regard.

Nana was the story-teller in our home.  My brother and I loved hearing her stories, over and over again. When we were young we would urge her night after night to tell us her stories of “the olden days”.  It never mattered how many times we heard those wonderful stories, they never ceased to delight us.

Nana was born at an area in Gympie called “The Dawn”. Shortly thereafter, Nana, her siblings and their parents moved to Goomboorian, 20ks (12 miles) outside of Gympie where they spent their childhood and teenage years. My grandmother's father, my great-grandfather worked at the Scottish Gold Mine, at Monkland, Gympie.  In 1918 he was killed in an accident at that mine.  (In a previous post I wrote in some detail about this part of my history/heritage/ancestry).

Our grandmother had a wealth of stories from Gympie’s early days; and of the areas surrounding Gympie. As there is only me left...my grandmother, mother and brother have passed away...I'm the only one left who knows these stories.  My late brother's adult children don't appear to be interested in learning about their forefathers/mothers, which, in my opinion, is sad....but that's their loss and a loss for their children. 

In awed astonishment we'd sit in silence listening to Nana tell the story of how fastidious our mother was about her appearance when she was a young, stylish girl-about-town working at Kirbys.   My brother, Graham and I listened intently to all of Nana's tales, interrupting only to ask questions here and there.

The headstrong young woman who later became our mother would go home during her lunch hour to change into a second outfit for the afternoon; and always, after taking an already ironed dress, blouse or skirt from her wardrobe would iron the garment again before donning it! 

Thankfully, I never inherited that trait from her.  I hate ironing!  Having to iron an item once is more than enough!  

When we were children often Nana proudly told my brother and me how our mother was the first young woman in Queensland to model the first two-piece bathing suit. If that was entirely true or not I really don’t know; perhaps she was the first young woman in Rockhampton to model such a bathing suit.  Nana wasn’t prone to lying or exaggeration so the former could very well have been the case.  Elma, our mother, was tall, slim and very attractive; she carried herself well.

In Gympie when Graham and I were attending primary school, Mum modelled in the local fashion parades on behalf of various local dress salons.

Home-body Nana enjoyed cooking. “Love” might be an over-statement; maybe she liked it more than loved it. However, preparing our meals never appeared to be a chore for her. I learned so much about cooking from my Nana.

Both Mum and Nana sewed; making their own clothes and mine; and sometimes shirts for Graham when he was younger.  Our sturdy Singer treadle sewing machine rattled along busily and often. 

It’s the simple things I miss most with my mother and grandmother no longer in my life.

I miss the “in-family” jokes. Our fooling around about nonsensical things others would have had no appreciation or understanding of; our silliness was unique to us; to our sense of craziness.

Mum was quick to take the bait; much to the delight of my brother and me. We loved to tease her. Mum bit quicker than our dog; or any of the fish she caught!

Often over the washing and drying up of the evening dinner dishes Nana and I played a game wherein we’d adopt personas; we’d put on false voices and accents.  Our silly, over-the-top conversations allowed our imaginations to run free. I think at times we almost believed we where the characters we were playing.. Both of us would end up in stitches; it was always such fun.

Of one thing I’m certain - Mum and Nana loved Graham and I very much; and we loved them equally in return.  Love costs nothing; but love is everything.

Happy Mother’s Day to Mums and Nanas.  It’s Mum’s day to take the load off – her day to be treated royally…

Cinnamon Oatmeal Pancakes: Combine 2c rolled oats and 500ml buttermilk. Set aside an hour or so until liquid is absorbed and oats are soft; overnight even. Stir together 1/2c whole wheat flour or oat flour, 1tsp each baking powder and bicarb soda, 1/4tsp each cinnamon and salt; add to softened rolled oats; add 1/2c buttermilk along with 2 eggs, 1/4c canola oil and 1tbs honey or maple syrup. Stir with rubber spatula just until well combined. Heat large, heavy pan over med-high heat; spray with oil. Cook 1/2c batter at a time; spread out to about 10cm in diameter; turn heat to med-low; cook until edges appear dry and bubbles begin to break on surface; flip; cook until golden; repeat with remaining batter. Serve with berries or bananas and honey or maple syrup.

Crab Benedict: Muffins: Whisk together 150g plain flour, 100ml each warm milk and warm water, 25g melted butter, 1tsp salt and 1x7g sachet of yeast; cover; leave in warm place, 1hr. Grease 8cm rings with butter; place in pan; spoon in muffin mix; cook gently on both sides, 3-4mins. Hollandaise: whisk 2 egg yolks with 50ml white wine vinegar in bowl over simmering water; slowly add 250g melted clarified butter or ghee; whisk continuously; then add a squeeze of lemon juice; keep warm. Have 800g cooked spinach handy. Mix 400g crab meat with 1tbs crème fraiche and a little lemon juice. Split and toast muffins; top each with some crab; then some spinach; and another lot of crab; top with hollandaise; sprinkle with chopped chives.

Nana & Mum’s Lemon Bars: Preheat oven 175C. Grease a 9-inch baking pan. Whisk togeterh 1-1/4c plain flour and 1/4c icing sugar; cut in 1/2c butter with 2 flat-bladed knives, your fingers or pastry blender to make coarse crumbs. Press into prepared pan. Bake 18-22 minutes until crust is light brown. Meanwhile, whisk together 2 large eggs, 1c white sugar, 2tbs plain flour, 1/2tsp baking powder, 1/2c fresh lemon juice and 1tbs lemon zest.  Pour filling over crust as soon as it comes out of oven (don’t wait for crust to cool). Return to oven; bake 20-25mins or until lemon bar is set.  Remove from oven; cool 5mins; dust with icing sugar.

Strawberry-Rhubarb “Mumosa”: Combine 1/3c each sugar and water, 1/2c each diced rhubarb and strawberries and 2tsp freshly-chopped ginger in saucepan; bring to boil; simmer 10-15mins; cool. Place in processor; add 1tbs lime juice; if too thick, add 1tbs hot water. Process until smooth; strain; pour 1tbs into champagne flutes; top with champers; garnish with strawberries.