BULLY FOR YOU, BUT NO BULLY BEEF FOR ME!

A View of Slade Point

Often I think I must have lived on a different planet to many others. Truth be told - maybe I still do.

Finally, the truth is  revealed! I am Robinson Crusoe reincarnated, after all....the female version, of course. 

During my traversing of Life’s long and winding road, a female I’ve always been; a female I’ll always be.

One moment I was a little girl with long plaits; then, in a flash, I was a 16 year old teenager riding Noosa’s surf, hoping the surging waves wouldn’t rip off my bikini.  My older brother, who, by the way was of the male species – a boy who became a man - was a Noosa Heads Surf Lifesaver in the early to mid-Sixties. 

The years flew by, as is their wont, having not a clue how to put on the brakes.

I matured into a woman.  Some may question the “mature” bit, but that’s okay with me.  Frequently, I question that very fact, too.

With me, nothing has altered in the gender department, but the boobs have sagged; wrinkles and grey hair have showed up; and I’ve misplaced a few teeth. 

It‘s not a moot point – I am a member of the feminine gender.

Sadly, we’re living in a time when truth doesn’t seem to matter; in a time when bullying is rife. Bullying is a popular sport with some. Surely there are more enjoyable pastimes.  How anyone gains pleasure from being a bully beats me.  Obviously, there’s something missing in their make-up (I’m not referring to Maybelline, L’Oreal, Revlon, etc.).  Lack of self-confidence and self-esteem come to mind - replaced by arrogance and cruel intentions.

I believe I have a very good memory; a memory which stretches back to when I was a wee little girl – to when I was a toddler, and before, even.   

To be perfectly honest – cross my heart and all the rest - my earliest memory is from when I was a baby laying in my cot which was set up in the enclosed front verandah of the house I shared with my Nana, mother and older brother, Graham, in Elphinstone Street, North Rockhampton.  My fleeting memory of that day so long ago – of just that one moment – that one day....is my being enthralled by the dappled, coloured, stained glass windows that enclosed the verandah. I'm sure I had not yet hit the one year-old mark at that stage.   

A little while later, we left Rockhampton, and the coloured windows, to take up residence in Slade Point, a beach-side suburb of Mackay. There we remained for a couple of years before we relocated to the town of our grandmother's birth and years of her youth, and the town in which our mother had been born....Gympie.   

The year was 1948...and I was three and a half years old. 

Clearly I recall the night at the Mackay railway station – standing on the station platform around 10.30 pm as we waited for the train that was to transport us south to Gympie.

However, among the many, varied memories I have, I do not recall any bullies when I was a child - or a teenager - growing up in Gympie.   

Those were the days, my friends - simple, uncomplicated, carefree.

Our childhood days were spent in the outdoors playing cowgirls and Indians, ballerinas, trapeze artists, Cat Woman and other imaginary heroines, collecting and swapping comics; exploring; learning; being intrigued by the four stages of life of butterflies before we set the beauties free.  Industrious little silkworms fattening themselves on mulberry leaves as they busily spun their lengthy lustrous silk were popular. They were handy trading commodities.  No shoe box went to waste when silkworms were in favour.

Naturally, boys being boys, teased the girls.  When not teasing us girls, the boys played together. Ignoring their juvenile behaviour, we girls preferred our more fun-filled, imaginative activities. We left the boys to their silly games.

From my childhood I remember only one bully...his name was “Albert Bully”.  Albert and I were of similar age.  Throughout primary school we were in the same classes.  Albert lived around the corner, not far from where I hung out with my mother, grandmother, brother and our variety of pets.  Albert walked past our place going to and from school. 

I referred to his parents as – “Mr. And Mrs. Bully”.  Albert was a “Bully”, but he wasn’t a bully; neither were the other kids on the block, new, near, or far. 

In those days of yore, we respected our elders. We called adults “Mr”, “Mrs” or “Miss”. Strange as it may seem to some members of present generations we respected each other, too.  I’ve no memory of bullying playing a role. 

Why is bullying so prevalent - such a popular pursuit nowadays?  It’s something we can do without. I, for one, can. 

Wow!  Many years have passed since I’ve eaten bully beef aka canned corned beef, or Camp Pie.

Unlike bullying, Camp Pie was popular when I was a little girl.

DIY Corned Beef:  Add 3-1/2lt water, 2c salt, 5tsp pink curing salt (not Pink Himalayan salt), 1/2c brown sugar, and 3 smashed garlic cloves to pot. Boil to dissolve; turn off heat; stir in 1tbs allspice berries, 1tbs whole mustard seeds, 8 whole cloves, 1tbs black peppercorns, 2 crumbled bay leaves, 1/2tsp ground ginger, 1stick cinnamon, broken into a few pieces and 2tsp red pepper flakes; chill. Place 2-1/2kg piece of brisket in large container; add cooled brine; weigh meat down to keep it submerged. Seal; refrigerate 5-7 days, rotating once a day. Remove brisket from brine. Discard brine; rinse brisket under cold water. Put brisket in pot; cover with water. Add 1tsp allspice berries, 1tsp whole mustard seeds, 1tsp black peppercorns and 1 crumbled bay leaf. Add more garlic, an onion, carrot and celery, if you like, and a splash of vinegar; bring to boil; reduce heat to simmer; cook 2-1/2-3hrs. 

Corned Beef Hash: Cut 600g potatoes into chunks; boil for 15-20 mins, until tender. Simmer the 2 trimmed, sliced leeks in boiling water 10mins. 350-400g cooked corned beef chunks into bowl with 2tbs tomato puree and 2tsp Worcestershire sauce; stir gently. Mash potatoes with butter and milk; season; stir in drained leeks. Pour 400g baked beans into ovenproof dish; spread corned beef mixture over top. Spoon on mashed potatoes; spread evenly. Sprinkle grated cheddar over surface; bake in 180C oven 30mins.

Corned Beef Reuben Sandwich: Butter one side of each slice of rye. Place 2 slices of rye, butter side down in pan on med-heat. Place a slice of Gruyere on each half. Once rye turns golden and cheese starts to melt, carefully stack corned beef, caramelized onions and sauerkraut on one half; put other half atop; press gently to adhere; heat 1-2mins. Remove from pan; separate sandwich slices slightly and slather Thousand Island dressing in the middle. Press slices back together; cut sandwiches in half.