MADE IN THEMHATTAN

Another absurd brain explosion has struck the over-zealous, gender-neutral, politically-correct “pundits”, who are, apparently, multi-taskers with far too much spare time on their hands.  Simultaneously, they waste energy, jump up and down, brandish posters, flap their gums, and wave their arms in the air.
  
How much more fetid garbage can they create to foist upon others? 

Their nonsensical gibberish is a figurative, non-literal form of littering in my opinion, but, then, what would I know - the mere mortal, country bumpkin I am!  ***

The story about a number of Brisbane’s private schools having adopted the use of gender-neutral religious terms rudely takes the cake!  Come on!  No more “father”, “son” and “Lord” etc., in prayers and services!    

For goodness sake!  What’s next? What a cheek!  Amen...

The way things are going the Himalyas will disappear into the ether.  Being known as the Heralayas won’t be allowed by the political-correct brigade.  The Asian mountain range will become Themalaya, or Theyalayas.  Who is laying whom, I wonder? 

If the “experts” have their way all gender-specific words and terms will require re-evaluation. 

We won’t be able to place a boycott upon the stupidity; nor a girlcott, mancott, not a womancott.   Themcott or personcott it will be.

Manhattan, as shown in the above title will disappear; ferried across to Staten Island.

Bridesmaids will be taboo, becoming bridesthing.  Matron won’t be honoured. 

Boyfriend and girlfriend will join the banned list.  Husband and wife are gone. Mum and Dad become “Hey, you!”   Daughter and son will be shoved out the door causing an onset of early empty nest syndrome. “Jason” becomes “Ja”.

What about “he”, “him”, “his”, “her”, “she”?   “It” will become the norm.   On second or third thoughts....“Norman” will have to become “Norma”....will that make it gender-neutral?

The Portuguese Man o’ War jellyfish, Red Emperors, Daddy Long Leg spiders, Lady Finger bananas, mangos, mandarins, boysenberries, damson plums, Pink Lady, Granny Smith apples, and the like will have to go.  Off the high jump with them, head first into the deep end of the pool never to be seen or heard of again.

Furthermore, bad news for...dare I say...little boys and girls... Father Christmas will no longer be climbing down the chimney.  What a shame! Poor old Santa wasted so much time going on the Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers’ Diets, too!

Manage, management, manuscript, manpower, etc., – they’re in danger.

Will we be manipulated into not using those words?  Uh-Oh! “Manipulate” will have to hit the skids. 

Maidenhair fern will be extinct.  Maidenhead lost forever. Manicurist will have to be filed away.  

Perhaps the only escape for me is to go back to school to make sense of everything.

When I went to school it was co-educational...boys and girls together.  Each knew who and what the other was. Girls played with girls; boys played with boys; Boys teased the girls and the girls found subtle ways to get back at them. 

Dame, sir, lady, duchess, duke, prince, princess, king and queen are in peril.  

“King Kong” will become “Ding Kong”.  

I know there are a lot of ding-dongs around, multiplying faster than rabbits.  Too busy for hijinks, rabbits stand on the sidelines watching in bemusement at the idiotic behaviour of hu....

Oops! I’m not allowed to say “human”.  There!  I said it! I am so bold....I don’t always do as I am told!

Sirloin Steaks with Chimichurri Sauce: Combine 2 finely chopped garlic cloves, 1 finely chopped shallot, 1 small bunch each of parsley and coriander, finely chopped, 2tbs finely chopped oregano, 1 seeded, finely chopped red chilli, 5tbs x-virgin olive oil, 2tbs white wine vinegar; salt to taste. Chill overnight; bring to room temp before serving.. Grill 4x295g sirloin steaks on each side as desired. Serve with sauce spooned over top.

Stuffed Sirloin: Preheat oven, 200C. Firstly caramelise onions: Cook 1 large sliced or diced red onion and 2 minced garlic cloves in butter or olive oil on med-low heat until translucent. Add 2-3tbs honey, 1/4c balsamic, 1/2tsp thyme; season. Simmer until it’s a syrup consistency. Remove from heat, use right away or store in fridge until ready to use. Pound out 2 sirloin steaks to about 1cm thick. Rub minced garlic on both sides; season. On one side of each steak, layer onions, 2 slices provolone cheese, crumbled blue cheese and 1/2c spinach. Roll up steaks; secure with kitchen string. Heat a little butter or olive oil in pan; sear steaks on all sides, finishing with seam side up. Place in oven; bake 20-25mins or until cooked as desired. Rest 5-10mins before slicing.

Queen of Puddings: Heat oven 160C. Break 140g madeira cake into fine crumbs. Place crumbs in 22cm round ovenproof baking dish. In a jug, whisk together 4 egg yolks, 400ml milk, 1/2tsp nutmeg and 50g golden caster sugar. Pour custard mixture over crumbs; leave to soak 10 mins. Place dish in oven; bake 45 mins, until custard is set but still has a little wobble. Filling: Place 500g rhubarb, cut into 4cm batons, in saucepan with 100g golden caster sugar, 4 balls chopped stem ginger, 2tbs ginger syrup and 2 tbsp water; cook 15-20mins until rhubarb is tender; cool. Heat oven 200C. Place egg whites in clean bowl; whisk whites until soft peaks form. Slowly add 100g golden caster sugar; beat well between each addition, until meringue is stiff and glossy. Drain rhubarb; keep syrup; spoon onto custard. Spoon or pipe meringue on top; bake 15-20mins until meringue is browned. Serve hot with the rhubarb syrup.  

***  I have no idea why the font size changes!  I've tried to change it...to no avail, as you can see