Saturday, June 03, 2023

ON A MORE SERIOUS NOTE…FOR OLD TIME’S SAKE…


 


 

For a couple or so years I called him “Gar” because I couldn’t pronounce his name.  I can’t remember the exact date or day, but I do remember the light-bulb moment I said his name correctly for the first time.  So proud was I that I’d finally conquered a major step forward in life.  Gar’s name was “Graham”.

Two years and eight months older than me, he was my brother.  Graham took his role as older brother seriously, which annoyed me often through the years; particularly during my teen years when he gave hopeful, would-be suitors the evil eye.  Big Brother was not only watching, but he also verbally warned off a few interested lads.  Spring and summer weekends my girlfriends and I spent on the beach and in the surf at Noosa Heads, while surreptitiously eyeing off the tanned, trim lifesavers. Graham, at my insistence, became a Noosa Heads Surf Lifesaver!  How silly of me it was to convince him to become a lifesaver.  I needed my head read!

When I was a kid, I felt a bit miffed to discover there were more baby photos of him than of me.  A few years down the track, I understood the reasons why, and all was forgiven.  Of course, Graham was the “first born”, but it wasn’t the sole reason for his hogging of the camera.  Upheaval hit our family unit when I was a tiny baby.  A way of life, and lives, changed forever, when, without a backward glance, our father flew the coop, leaving only our mother and grandmother to care for us.  Mum and Nana had a lot on their plates in more ways than one. Never losing sight, they set guidelines for Graham and me to follow. Among the many lessons instilled were respect and discipline. Graham and I had a lot on our dinner plates, too, regardless of whatever arose to hinder our path along life’s highway.

From a young age Graham adopted the mantle of “man of the house”. Others didn’t expect, or ask it of him. Only he expected it of his self.  Graham left school at the age of 14 years, gaining work with the railway department. A short time later, on his meagre wage, he bought a record player. He then purchased our first fridge. Off to the dump went the ice chest. Next, along came a new dining table and chairs. He then surprised us with a television set.  Graham’s generosity towards his family, towards Mum and Nana, was endless.

Eventually, he moved to Mackay, where he worked within the cane industry for a number of years, after which, he gained employment in the fire department at Mackay airport.  Circa 1968, Graham relocated Nana and Mum from Gympie to Slade Point, a beach suburb of Mackay, setting them up in a two-bedroom cottage where they comfortably lived out the remainder of their years.

My brother enjoyed a cold beer, and he loved a Bundy...Bundaberg rum for the uninformed...but Graham despised cigarettes.  Never, not even during his experimental teen years did he once lift a cigarette to his lips. Non-stop through the years he lectured me about my smoking habit, a habit I gave up a few years ago.  My doing so would’ve pleased him no end…and, me…no more lectures; no more nagging!

He didn’t suffer fools, not one iota.  A straight-shooter, Graham looked others directly in the eye.  He had an insane sense of the ridiculous; a fun sense of humour.  I believe I was the only person who really knew and understood him. Lacking insight, and demonstrating little compassion, or empathy, most others were insensitive to his ways and needs. Under his oft-times brusque exterior, Graham was a good man.  I knew that, even if at times he annoyed the “whats-its” out of me!   Graham and I had our “moments”…many of them. I was also aware of his many worthy traits; deserving traits he kept disguised from the prying eyes of others.

Graham loved music, particularly country music.  One of the best times we shared was the night we were members of the audience at John Denver’s concert held in the Townsville Entertainment Centre.  To top the night off, we met the artist.  Graham was a huge Denver fan.  After we arrived home to my cosy abode in West End, a Townsville suburb, Graham and I, perched on kitchen stools, talked into the wee small hours.  He drove back to Mackay later that morning. 

When I was living and working in various towns in North Queensland, almost every weekend Graham visited.  No matter the distance, the drive to and fro never bothered him.  I was unsure if his regular visits were to see me, or Missy, his cocky cocker spaniel…and for my meatloaves, which he loved. I always made an extra meatloaf for him to take home.  For five or so years, Missy was my ward after Graham could no longer have a dog at his premises.  Pushkin and Rimsky, my two cats, made her feel welcome –most of the time.   

Gone too soon… 28/02/1942…06/06/1998

 

20 comments:

  1. 56 is definitely too young to die. He certainly set the bar high for himself, it's a shame there aren't more like him.

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    1. Yes, 56 is far too young, River. Losing Graham left a major hole in my life, in my heart.

      Thanks for coming by...take good care.

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  2. The eldest of my (half) brothers became the man of the house after his father died. He would have been less than ten at the time. Despite having a good sense of humour he is still very serious. To this day he sometimes finds his sister (and youngest brother's) flippancy difficult.
    Like your brother he is an admirable man.

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    1. Same with Graham, EC. He had a good sense of humour, but he was a serious man.

      He was also very "particular"...about his appearance, even when in work attire and casual attire. He was also very tidy, and kept his various abodes spotless. He'd tease me when visiting by running his fingers along shelves etc., and go "Tsk! Tsk!" to get a bite out of me. I never let him down! :)

      Thanks for coming by...take good care.

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  3. Oh Lee...I'm so sorry you lost your brother. I've never had one to miss but I'm sure it was wonderful!
    hugs
    Donna

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    1. Graham and I didn't always get along...we had our disagreements, but regardless of everything, we loved each other. And, I always knew he had my back if and when necessary.

      Thanks for coming by...take good care.

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  4. Some people are able to assume unexpected responsibility at an early age and shoulder it well. It seems that Graham was one of them. It's sad that he died at a relatively young age, but he left his mark and it's good that you remember him so fondly. Oh - I hope a couple of your young suitors, at least, found a way to get around him!

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    1. Hey, David...I was as strong-willed as my brother...never fear...suitors, I had! Boy! I often had words with Graham about his attitude, though! lol

      Thanks for coming by...take care. :)

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  5. My brother died at 58 and left a deep hole in my life. I'm not even able to write about him and the tragedy. I can fully understand your loss.

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    1. Yes, DUTA...losing a loved one is very difficult. Their presence remains with you, forever.

      Thanks for coming by...take care.

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  6. He was a good man, the kind to make a family proud. I'm sorry you lost him so early.

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    1. Hi messymimi...Graham put a lot of responsibility on his shoulders from a young age. Life wasn't always easy for him, but he worked hard to get what he wanted. I knew he would always be there to back me up, if or when needed.

      Thanks for coming by....take care.

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  7. What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful brother. Love the pic of you two:)
    Hugs

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    1. I'd been crying, Sandra, and the tears can be seen in my eyes. I was a very shy little girl back then. :) I've always loved this photo, too.

      Thanks for coming by....take care. :)

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  8. Such a lovely photograph of the two of you.
    A very nice tribute post.

    All the best Jan

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    1. That photo was taken in 1948, Jan. So many years ago...and so many memories made between then and now....

      Thanks for coming by..take good care.

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  9. I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your brother at such a young age. I'm sure that wonderful photograph must be one of your prized possessions. What beautiful children you were!

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    1. Thank you, Serena...and thanks for coming by...take good care. :)

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  10. That must have been so difficult to come to terms with. I lost my brother at 36 - 30 years ago - and still find it hard to believe he is no longer here.

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  11. Lee, this was such a loving remembrance of your brother, Graham, and he was certainly a "good guy" and I can well imagine how much he is missed. I only have one sibling, a 3-year younger brother, and he is also very special.

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