Tuesday, March 13, 2007

I Won't Do That Again!

There I was, racing to the service station, trying to beat my fuel gauge before it reached zero, hoping I’d not see anyone I knew. No time for a shower, feet covered in grass clippings, streaks of red soil on my clothes, arms and legs, hair windblown. Remnants of branches, leaves and cobwebs clinging to my back in a complete camouflage, I thought. I thought wrong! I ran into, not literally, someone I know not too well. Of course, she was dressed up to the nines. Looking down her well-made up nose, she fluttered her eye lashes, raised her eyebrows, I’m sure I heard her utter, “Tsk! Tsk!”. Brushing off the leaves and branches, I smiled, “Lovely morning isn’t it?” She performed a graceful side-step, removing herself from the vision of absolute disaster standing beside her as she mumbled something unintelligible in return. Hurriedly, she paid for her fuel purchase before exiting the premises with not a backward glance. Next time, I must remember to put a protea bloom behind my ear perhaps that will complete my appearance. On second thoughts, next time I should shower and change into clean clothes before racing off to fill up my car! But I’m still in the middle of cutting flowers and I’m only going to get filthy again. You see, I load up my car with the blooms before driving down to the front of the property to the roadside where I sell the flowers. To some that may seem a lazy way to do it, and I guess, it is, but the bundles of proteas are very heavy and I’m very lazy! Also it's about 800 or so metres to the roadside end of the property. The reason I made the mad, unprepared-for dash to fill my fuel tank was a flashing light warning me that the tank was near barren. So, casting pride and dignity to the wind, showing no shame, I fleet-footed it or fleet-wheeled it to the servo!

Why is it that this sort of thing happens, I wonder? Every time my cabin is untidy or every time I make a similar dash into the outside world, someone arrives unexpectedly or I’ll run into someone I really don’t need or wish to see! From now on I’m going to keep an immaculate house and only make outside appearances when I’m groomed to knock-out proportions! This way, I’ll never again have unexpected visitors and I won’t cross paths with “Tsk! Tsking” folk!

To be totally honest with you, I really don’t care! Well, maybe I do, just a little! I'm off to make my bed....

27 comments:

  1. Hehehe I have a favorite excuse for those days: God has a great sense of humor, and sometimes I'm the joke of the day. If my neighbors can't deal with my fuzzy slippers and hairy legs, they need new rose-colored glasses!

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  2. Hahaha...I agree, smukke...take me as I am, is my motto. I just made a phone call to some friends to discover the husband of the two is on his way over for what was to be an unexpected visit! Ha! I've just finished tidying the place up! ;)

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  3. lee, this happens to me every time I go out without makeup or when my house is a wreck. I have always wondered why nobody ever just drops in for a visit right after I've finished cleaning the house and had a shower and put on makeup and the whole works...it never ever happens. I have gotten very good at two things as a result of that. 1- I am great a dodging people if I see them first. 2- Learning that I am not obligated to answer the door just because someone is knocking on it. I don't answer the phone when the caller ID says it's a telemarketer, I treat the door the same way. If they can't give me the courtesy of calling ahead, and I do not feel up to entertaining, I feel no guilt at pretending I am not home. It took me all my adult life to figure that one out. (don't tell my mother...haha) :-)

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  4. Oh the joy of being male Lee, we don't even notice these sort of things and as for tsk! tskers! we (as should you) pay them absolutely no mind at all.

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  5. me too - I am a dag at home, specially if working outside, and I really hate getting caught without at least my teeth in...

    I keep two very large, very basic pieces of clothing handy at all times, a shirt and a pair of pants... these I use for quick trips to the locals and/or when the door knock sounds or if I have tradesmen or deliveries expected.

    Doesn't matter then what's underneath, and I know they look 'presentable'.

    Good tale, thanks Lee.

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  6. lol...I love you all! As for the teeth, Della...I've lost mine under the bed! ;) I keep a sarong handy...easy to throw around me!

    Windblownbutterfly...so nice to meet you. :) I do similar. So many times I don't answer my door or the phone. That, I believe, is my right! Thanks for visiting my blog, Wind. I welcome you and hope you enjoy what you read...what you read is what you get with me...no embellishment! :)

    Hey there, Peter...I'm wondering where you are at the moment of your commenting! I really don't worry, Peter. Only a little. ;)

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  7. I was pretty sure you didn't really care or we wouldn't be hearing about it. But on the slim chance that you someday might care, try carrying a bright red haired wig under the seat. And maybe a clown nose.

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  8. You are so correct, Cliff...it just made for a reasonably good story. I could care less! ;) I don't need the wig or the red nose...I scare enough people as it is! ;)

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  9. Tsk, Tsk indeed silly woman. I finally convinced Stormy that the best view on life is your own. Be responsible for your life and no one can fault you.

    She will be headed out to South America this weekend. At least we will celebrate my birthday Thurs, the Ides of March, together.

    The weather should clear here before she leaves, at least I hope so! Weather in SA will be bad.

    Hope you get the rain you need.

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  10. You are so correct, Marc...I really, in all honesty, care not what others think of me. Those who know, understand and like me for whom I am, know what I'm like...and that is what matters most of all to me. I put on no pretenses for anyone. I don't live my life for others, or expect them to live theirs for me. I live my life as it suits me...I have dreams of a better life...but that's all they are, dreams...so I make the most of the one I have! ;)

    I hope Stormy has a great trip to South America. You behave yourself while she is away...and don't forget to eat! :)

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  11. Ahoy --What first came to my mind was Eliza Doolittle from "My fair lady”, She was selling flowers wasn’t she! But the flower girl wants on to become Rex’s fair lady indistinguishable from royalty didn’t she...!
    So I guess beneath your work garb breathes there a fair lady with a heart and some talent!!
    Best wishes

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  12. Hi Lee,ref-previous posts~ As I have commented before our last holiday at Noosa was a delight, Hastings Street has so many great restaurants.

    I enjoyed your story about your Russian friend, I wonder what he is doing to day as Russia has changed remarkably. There is a young Russian blogger who I visit from time to time.

    Best wishes

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  13. well you would have made a hit with me! I love the smell of dirt and freshly cut grass! lol..

    before my back got so bad, if you had run into "ME".. you would have thought you were looking in a mirror!.. well..and OLD mirror lol

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  14. This was funny. I wouldn't care who saw me, but my wife would care who saw her. Guess it's a male/frmale things.

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  15. Lee, I'll send you some welcome mats like I have...

    "My house was clean yesterday. Sorry you missed it!"

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  16. Lindsay...you'll be pleased to know (and so will I), I have to go out later but this time, I'll be showered, locks hair-dryer-dried instead of windblown, dressed in clothes minus twigs and leaves, looking presentable and I'll run into no one I know! ;)
    Thanks for your comments on my Noosa and Andrei posts, too. I think Andrei has gone on to bigger and better things. He was a smart young man...I hope he has.

    Deslily! You're back! I bet you had a wonderful time in California. Can't wait to read your stories about your fun time.

    Hi SteveG...it's not often I make mad dashes like I did yesterday. I don't want to scare the locals too much! ;)

    G'day Southern! As it turned out, I did have a visitor yesterday and surprise! surprise...everything was tidy and in place, except me! ;)

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  17. Hi, Lee. Exactly the same happens to me : if ever I go out looking scruffy I'll meet someone important or have to hide in a doorway to avoid a special man! And they always, always call when I haven't been bothered to mop the house through ..[You mop, not hoover, here.] Most of the time I think, "If you don't like it, don't come" but other times I beat myself up over it. Then I decide I've got better things to do...

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  18. We just have to keep reminding ourselves, Welsh...that people who visit want to see us and if they run into us when out, they are pleased to see "us"...and care less about what we are wearing or how tidy our homes are. We too easily forget this important fact and get swallowed up with our 'outside' appearances. Those who are judgmental over what really are very trivial matters, are not worth worrying about. We just have to keep convincing ourselves of that fact. ;)

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  19. Well you can be well-groomed with an immaculate house or you can have an interesting life. Take your pick, or household help would be nice but I'd have to clean up before they came else I'd be too ashamed!
    Regards
    jmb

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  20. Hi, jmb...so true...I can be well-groomed, though I'm not sure if that is the correct description for me, when I choose to be. I'm one of those people who, when trying to look poised with a scarf strategically position, the scarf ends up either choking me or looking like a dish cloth! ;)

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  21. jmb, Lee - we think alike!

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  22. Ditto, Welsh...I would hope people like and accept me for who I am, not for how I dress, how much money I have or have not, or my home.

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  23. It's called Sod's Law, Lee and it happens to me all the time. I slop around home in daggy clothes, no bra (but I do have my teeth in!), unshowered, unshaven, unplucked and all the other uns...I guarantee someone will knock on the door. I give up!

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  24. Well, at least I've discovered I'm not alone...that's a relief!

    I still can't find my teeth, Robyn... I think I put them in the box with the hair curlers! Either that or the cats ate them! ;)

    Can't find my glass eyes, either! They probably dropped in the soup!

    My landlord knows to cough and whistle as he comes past my cabin...I think he's scared of what he might find! ;)

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  25. That happens to me all the time when I have not ime to do anything with myself, I usually always run into someone I know, and it is never on the days I look good.

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  26. I'm always wishing my friends/neighbors would drop by right after I have cleaned the house and vacuumed up all the dog hair. Alas, they usually catch me with a tumbleweed of dog hair blowing across the hardwood floor.

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  27. Hi Shelly and Corn Dog...you've all made me feel so much better now...I realise I'm not Robinson Crusoe...we all have our moments! Hehehehehehe!

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