Wednesday, March 14, 2007

More Bits and Pieces...Of the More Personal, Private Kind!

I’m about to shower, dress and go out to do some shopping at the supermarket. Yes, I will be clean, tidy, made-up with hair shampooed and carefully in place. No more surprise visits to the outside world for me today! I can’t keep scaring the natives like that! I should buy some masking tape when I’m at the supermarket! Me and my big mouth…yesterday, in a moment of weakness, I invited a couple of friends to dinner on Saturday night for St. Patrick’s Day! I need the masking tape to tape up my mouth! It seemed like a great idea at the time, but that ‘time’ swiftly passed and now I’ve been polishing glasses, planning a menu, washing a dark green tablecloth, dusting and generally, grumbling at my loose lips!

Writing of St. Patrick Day reminds me of Hinchinbrook Island celebrations of the day. I instructed the kitchen and bar that everything, and I mean everything had to be green! One poor little kid during lunch became overjoyed at his high pile of ‘green ice-cream’ on his plate. That is, until he dug into it. Taking a huge mouthful, he let out a green scream. “This is mashed potato!”

Green food colouring adorned the bar, not only were we serving green beer, but green scotch and wine. Well, it was different, I must admit!

Green prawns cooked in a verde sauce! You name it…nothing escaped the bottles of green food colouring!

Next morning, Bronnie tentatively approached me in my office.

“Lee,” she stammered. “I think we have a problem. I think the island water supply might be contaminated! What are we going to tell the guests?”

“Why do you say that, Bronnie?” I asked, looking up from my paper-work.

“Well…umm,” hesitantly she began, shifting from foot to foot. “Umm…well…when I went to the toilet this morning…I…I…ahh…it was black!” She finally blurted out.

I laughed my head off.

“Bronnie…there is no island disease! It’s from all the green food colouring!” I couldn’t stop laughing.

Poor guests! I wonder by which despicable, deadly disease they thought they were afflicted!

I never did ask!

22 comments:

  1. ROFLMAO. It reminds me of a diaper change, of my daughter, after she ate spinach when she was a baby. I know it wasn't all from the spinach, it was still funny. OHHHHHHH that was some green pooooooo.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi there Sandra...I'm glad you got a laugh out of my story! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. LMBO at the "green disease."

    Oh, man, I've "talked myself into" dinner parties before, then slapped myself in the head. I'll bet you have a great time, though. Have fun with it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I know, Serena...I do it all the time! They do end up being fun, but then after them I tell myself I'm never going to do it again! And, of course, I fail miserably! It's this damn mouth of mine! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Lee ~~ You always seem to have such fun whether it is going out looking scruffy or having green coloring causing black toilets!!
    That is so great. I hope you sold all the proteas. I have one bush in the garden. They are so nice. I had a friend say the other day that she takes her kids to school in her slippers and dressing gown. I told her she will get caught - with a flat tyre or pulled up by the police. Thanks for your visit and of your disbelief of why I have
    satin sheets. Just wait till you are my age, my girl!!! Take care
    (or you won't get there) Love, Merle.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hahahaha, Merle...your wicked truth is out there for all the world to see! ;)

    Life has to be fun or it would all become too much of a burden! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. As wicked as I am, I'm trying to figure out how I can play that trick on somebody. I'm not nearly as industrious as you to have a dinner party on Saturday though. Have fun!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Green mash potatos wouldn't be so bad so long as there was some gravy. Then again, green gravy might not work. (Chortle)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Robbie...well, I've got four coming to dinner so I have to be industrious now! I might lay off the green potatoes though...the green tablecloth might be enough! ;)

    Steve if you leave the gravy long enough it will turn green! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Love it! - and thanks for the reminder about St Patrick's Day! No, I haven't the energy to organise another "do" - not so soon after Dewi Sant .. I'll just send everyone best wishes! Be in touch b4 Sat anyway, Lee. Have a great time planning your party. Love, Welsh..

    ReplyDelete
  11. I hope you will post your St Patrick's day menu and recipes for the items on it. What you will serve for that day is certain to be interesting.

    BTW, you would scare the natives a lot less if you quit carrying that tomahawk...

    ReplyDelete
  12. The planned dinner party was really a last minute decision. My landlords returned from New Zealand last night and I wanted to have a little dinner to thank them for allowing me to cut and sell the flowers while they were away. I'm making it pretty simple.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Lee, I can relate to opening my big mouth and dropping myself right in...however, with age comes a certain amount of wisdom (well, sometimes).

    I couldn't think of anything worse than green mashed potato. As for alcohol, the only green drink I like is a Freddy Fudpucker! (Haven't had one of those in a looooong time).

    Good luck with the dinner and I know it will be delicious...have a good evening.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hahaha, Gto...you really have a 'thing' about my tomahawk! I do have one by the way! lol

    Welsh, if I'd shut my mouth, I wouldn't be doing anything either! ;)

    I'm not cooking "Irish" actually. I decided to do a one-pot dish...Beef Bourguignon...Beef in Burgundy...but I am serving it with mashed spuds and peas...so the spuds will have to suffice for St. Paddy's day. I will be having an Irish liqueur though. I'm making a bread and butter pudding as dessert and a seafood thingie as entree. And even if I say so myself, I make a pretty great bread and butter pudding..."Lee's Internationally World Famous Bread & Butter Pudding'! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hiya Robyn...thanks for the good wishes. I've gotten as far as washing the floor! And thinking!

    I'm not going to go to too much trouble. Famous last words! I always get carried away! I can't help myself...one day I will learn...maybe not! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Sometimes you need to just invite someone out of the blue and worry about it later, otherwise you just think of all the reasons why you shouldn't. You know, have to clean up the house, get dressed up, cook something decent, for heaven's sake.
    Where's Hinchinbrook Island for the ignorant australocanadian?
    Regards
    jmb

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hinchinbrook Island, jmb, is half-way between Townsville and Cairns, in tropical North Queensland...just off the coast from Cardwell, a few kms north of Ingham.

    That's what I do, jmb...spur of the moment invitations and worry about it all afterwards! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  18. I can so relate, what seems like a good idea at the time later I think why in the heck did I do that. I'm sure your dinner will be wonderful. Have a great St. Patricks day. Shelly

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thanks, Shelly...it's time I got my butt into gear and started doing some prep for my dinner party. I'm slackening off a bit this morning...but time is slipping away!

    ReplyDelete
  20. LOL, the new St. Paddy disease.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Lovely story, Lee. I do that, too - ask people to dinner or a celebration and then wish I hadn't! but I enjoy it in the end. That must have been a fun "green day" you had on the island!

    ReplyDelete
  22. G'day Corn Dog and Welsh...I think I probably frightened a few of the island guests that time! ;)

    I know, Welsh...regret sets in sometimes soon after I've opened my mouth, but as you say, you end up having a great time, and I did, on Saturday night...everyone was very happy and ready to party.

    ReplyDelete