Monday, November 30, 2015

SPIT IT OUT! IF YOU CAN’T SPELL IT, DON’T TRY SAYING IT!



Cheers!  Bottoms Up!

Do you have words you stumble over?  Do you have words you try your hardest not to use because every time you do you stuff them up?  I admit I’ve a few.  Hmmmm….take “phenomenonomemomemom” or “phenomenononomonalalalal”, for instance!  Why not say “a remarkable occurrence”?  The latter is as a descriptive; has the same meaning, and it flows fluidly off the tongue without a hiccup.  Now, that is phenomenal!

Years ago I decided to change tack because embarrassment was/is an embarrassing state in which to find my own self; particularly when I had no intention of going there. I’d not bought a ticket, nor made a booking!

After making a total idiot of myself thousands of times when forced into the inescapable naughty phenomenal corner I reached out to Houdini for advice. Pointless, really, because he was dead – still is.  As he couldn’t help me I promised to never let the word trip and stumble out of my mouth again. Once that weight was lifted off my shoulders I felt like soaring to the heights.

There’s nothing worse (well - there is worse, but remaining on subject without succumbing to the lure of digression) than being in the midst of a conversation with people I barely know and one of “those” unmentionable words rears its convoluted head. 

When/if such an uncomfortable situation arises, instead of putting my foot in my mouth I pop an hors-d'oeuvre into it; or should that be a horse’s doover? 

As a child I was taught never to speak with my mouth full. I always do as I’m told…almost always…okay, sometimes!  However, those practical, wise words of wisdom in the art of good manners prove their worth time and time again. 

Don’t try saying “twelfth” if you’re munching on a mouthful of nuts.

A further warning - if you attempt to utter “his horse was placed sixth on the isthmus” a few times you’ll “spith chipsth’. Saying it once is difficult enough. 

An anemone can be an enemy. It could be worth your while to bypass that one, as well.

A good (or bad) example is “Otorhinolaryngologist”.  My advice is to stay clear of this one. 

Its correct pronunciation is: Oto-rhino-laryng-ologist.  The word has nothing to do with rhinocerouseseseses. In simpler terms, it’s an “ear-nose-throat specialist”, which is far easier to say. If you’ve no choice and no escape – mumble and cough simultaneously to muffle the kerfuffle you’re making of the ridiculous word.

Is there anyone who pronounces “Worcestershire” aka “Wuss-ter-sheer” correctly?   It takes less effort to say “Holbrooks” or “Lea & Perrins”. 

Lately I’ve noticed a lot of chefs on cooking shows saying ”oleeeeve” oil.  Why, I wonder? 
It’s not “acteeve”, nor is it “positeeve” nor is it “negateeve” ...therefore, in my book, neither is it “oleeve!”

I wish they’d leave olive alone! Popeye will get upset!

I rue the day I have to say “rural” repeatedly! 

It’s gruelling having to read out loud the works of Russian novelists like Zhukovsky, Turgenev, Saltykov-Schedrin, Dostoyevsky, or the poets, Baratynsky, Batyushkov, Konstaninovich et al. 

Leo Tolstoy is simple to pronounce, but try saying out loud continually at a rapid pace the name of his infamous heroine, Anna Karenina. Don’t even attempt those she hung around with such as Kirillovich Vronsky, Stiva Arkadyevich Oblonsky, Konstantin Dmitrievich, Sergej Ivanovich Koznyshev, Princess Ekaterina Alexandrovna Shcherbatskaya, to jumble but a few. Whew!

Why couldn’t Anna be friends with Tom Smith, Fred Brown and Jane Jones? 

Let’s not forget “War and Peace”! Sadistic old Leo was at it again. Boris Pasternak joined in the fray with “Dr. Zhivago”.  Halfway through the story everyone changed names because of the damn Russian Revolution!

That’s when I revolted and refused to join a book club that discussed Russian writers.

Shchi: Preheat oven, 204C. Season 2 beef shanks; rub in garlic powder; roast 25mins. Cool; remove meat from bones; chop coarsely; reserve bones. To Dutch oven add meat, bones, 8c water, 2 chopped celery stalks,1-1/2 chopped onions, 4 chopped small turnips, 5 carrots cut into ½-inch rounds, 1c dry lentils, 2 bay leaves, 454g passata, 454g crushed tomatoes, 1tsp paprika, 2tsp fresh thyme, salt, pepper and 1 crushed garlic. Bring to boil; simmer on low, uncovered 3hrs. Stir in ½ head cabbage, shredded; cook 30mins; add 6 potatoes, quartered; cover; cook 20mins. Serve soup with dollop of sour cream.

Imeretian Khachapuri: Mix together 200ml warm water and1tbs dry/instant yeast; set aside. Combine 1.5kg plain flour, 200ml warm milk, 50ml oil, 1 large egg, 1tsp sugar, 1tsp salt and yeast. Knead by hand, or with dough hook until smooth, elastic dough. Use extra warm water if needed. Cover with greased plastic wrap; let rise in a warm place 2hrs. Punch down dough; divide into two; cover; let rest 15mins. Combine 600g grated cheese (half feta/half mozzarella), 2 eggs and 30g butter. Heat oven, 176C. Roll dough to form 2 flattish round shapes; create lip around edge. Place cheese in centre of circles. Fold up dough edges to completely seal cheese inside. Flatten filled dough with your palms and fingers without breaking the dough. Turn dough over; flatten out to make circular shape. Place on a paper-lined rimmed baking sheet; bake 10mins; then brush dough with beaten egg yolk. Bake another 5mins until dough is golden. Take out of oven; rub entire surface with butter, if desired; cut into slices.

Potato Blinis with Sour Cream and Caviar: Beat whites of 2 large eggs at medium speed until stiff peaks form.  Whisk the egg yolks until thickened. Stir in 1 large, grated potato, 9tbs plain flour, 2tbs whipping cream, 1tsp salt and 1/2tsp pepper. Fold in egg whites. Pour some vegetable oil to depth of ½-ich in large, heavy pan. When hot drop potato mixture, by teaspoonfuls, into the hot oil; fry, in batches, 1-2mins on each side or until golden; drain on paper towels. Serve topped with sour cream and caviar.

Zakuski Salad: Place 2 finely grated carrots in a bowl or dish; drizzle over juice of 1 lemon.  Mix together 200ml sour cream and 40ml horseradish; place on top of grated carrots; top with cracked black pepper and lemon zest.

Bucatini all´Amatriciana: Cut 240g bacon or pancetta into small cubes; brown with one chopped onion (and crushed garlic clove, if  desired) in ex-virgin OLIVE oil; add a little dry white wine over high heat until it evaporates; add 1 sliced hot chilli, 1-1/2 cups quality passata, salt and pepper to taste; cook 30mins over low heat. Cook 430g bucatini pasta to al dente; drain; mix with sauce.  Sprinkle with freshly grated pecorino cheese and freshly grated black pepper.

"Bottoms Up!  Za Sda-Ró-Vye! Salute! Cin Cin! Skål! Budmo! Za vas! Za zdorovie! Prost! Prosit! Zum Wohl! Cheers!  Cheers, Big Ears - Here's Mud in Your Eye!"  

Vladivostokalokova: Shake with cracked ice, 22ml Gin, 22ml Vodka, 15ml grapefruit juice, and a dash of Bitters. (You can use pink grapefruit, if you prefer). Decorate with mint leaves and/or slice grapefruit.

34 comments:

  1. You write an amazing blog - you fill it with humor - teaching - and recipes - and sometimes stories. The orange one looked good to me - Zakuski Is that Polish? It is carrots and horseradish sounds so good.

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    1. Hi there Sandie...I try to be lighthearted where possible...all a bit of fun. :)

      "Zakuski" is Russian...a term/word used for hot or cold hors d'oeuvres, snacks, salads etc. and entrees (served before the main course). I did mean to have put the word "salad" after the heading...so I went in and added it after I read your comment.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  2. Posthumous defeats me. So I don't use it.
    Some great recipes this week. Thank you.

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    1. It's easier that way, EC! lol

      I'm glad you like the recipes...thanks for popping in. :)

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  3. Well, at least the English can take comfort in the fact in that you-all can't speak the language, either. (LOL?)

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    1. Hi Jerry...even the English stuff it up, too. I'm sure everyone has a word or two they can't get their tongues around.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  4. Oh gosh, you have me laughing with those words...think I would have trouble with those ever so long ones..
    I was taught also, not to speaks with my mouth full, saves embracing moments at times...

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    1. It's moments like those, Margaret, we need Minties...a whole packet of them...all at once! :)

      Thanks from coming by. :)

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  5. I do avoid those kinds of words and try to keep it simple. Even simple words like "rope' become "the long thing you use to tie up things" Sometimes the words just aren't there at all so I avoid the biggies.

    I think Annie is in no danger.

    Have a great day.

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    1. Annie is envious of those socks, though, Gail! :)

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  6. Another wonderfully entertaining post Lee. I do envy you (I think I'm repeating myself) your obviously natural ability to write 'easy' and 'comfortable' prose. My whole professional life was one of ensuring that every word meant exactly what it was intended to convey or to confuse (the language of law, bureaucracy and politics using both techniques). Consequently when I retired it was hard to make the transition to storytelling.

    You have covered so many topics that I think you have spurred me into writing a post in addition to this comment. On the subject of pronunciation how about the Scottish town of Kirkudbright or the English name of Cholmondelly? ('Care-coo-brie' and 'Chumley' respectively). I have few problems with Russian names but, on the other hand, living as I do/did in both Scotland and New Zealand I have considerable difficulty with 'pin' and 'pen'.

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    1. Oh, yes...New Zealand has some humdingers!!! And let's not forget Wales, Graham! lol

      I'm glad you enjoy my posts...it is what I wish for when I write them....and I'm happy they're appreciated for what they are...so thank you for your generous words. Don't sell yourself short...you tell many a fine tale, too :)

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  7. "Do you have words you stumble over?" Entire social situations, Lee!

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    1. Hahahaha, RK! Just keep eating those hors-d'oeuvre/horse’s doovers! That solves the problem!!

      Thanks for popping in. :)

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  8. This was/is funny, thanks for the giggles.
    I've heard otorhinolaryngologist on the Big Bang Theory, but never anywhere else. Most people say ENT specialist. I do know how to say Wuss-ter-sheer, but sometimes we get silly and say the whole thing as it is spelled, along with other things that are equally silly when pronounced as spelled.

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    1. I'm glad it gave you a laugh, River...it was meant to do so...just a bit lighthearted fun. :)

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  9. That cartoon is hilarious! And one of friends corrected me when I pronounced Worcestershire as Woost-er-shire - she said it is pronounced "Wooster" in England. I still say wooster-er-shire - not wanting to seem pretentious. :)

    I make recordings for the blind - I record The New York Times Book Review every week for the Georgia Radio Reading Service - and spend considerable time Googling the pronunciation of words (especially foreign language words). I find that if I don't, someone will call me on a mispronunciation. At least I know they're listening. :)

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    1. Hey Lynn...I didn't know you make recordings for the blind. A good friend of mine, (he had been my boss for 14 years and we'd remained good friends for years after we'd worked together until his passing in 1994) - used to do similar years ago. It's a wonderful thing that you do.

      It's amazing how many people say - "pro-nounc-iation", too...instead of "pro-nunc-iation"! :)

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  10. I recognise that some people have problems with tricky words and names but I am not one of those people. Don't get me wrong Lee, I am not saying I am perfect but I have never been fazed by words. I love them and embrace them.

    On BBC Radio 4, British comedian Jack Dee recently reported a visit to a zoo. "There were two mongooses.... mongeese? Anyway, I recently visited a zoo and there was a mongoose... and another one." It made me chuckle.

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    1. Then you are most fortunate, Yorkie ,that you're never tricked up by a word or stumble over one or two. You must always have your teeth in! :)

      (And please don't shatter my image....I thought you were perfect!) Hehehehehe!

      I like the zoo visit story...good one!

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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    2. Confession time - Sometimes I trip over the words "kerbstone", "pothole", "sleeping dog" and "bottom step".

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    3. You only 'fessed-up because your nose began to grow overnight, Yorkie!!!!!

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    4. Please may I have the last word Lee? It's RHUBARB!

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    5. No! You can't have the last work, Rhubarb! This is my blog...I will have the last word! lol

      And by the way...we have loads of rhubarb growing on this property. I'll pick you some...in exchange for the 40 rolls of Adrian wallpaper....that's a fair deal!!! ;)

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  11. antidisestablishmentarianism - the principles of those who oppose the with-drawal of the recognition or support of the state from an established church, usually used in referring to the Anglican church in the 19th century in England.

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    1. Well, there you go...if they used that word in every service the service would go on forever!!! One way to drag them out, I guess! :)

      Thanks for popping in, Annie. Take care. :)

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  12. I fail to understand. You have been speaking to Leo Trotsky about his book on Karenina? How does this fit with the recipes?

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    1. It's just something to chew over, Mr. Ad-Man.

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  13. Try as I might, I cannot say decompartmentalize correctly on a first go. Ever.

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    1. Hey there Claire...thanks for popping in...do so again. :)

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  14. My tongue refuses to work.

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    1. Hahahahaha! Perhaps you and I need an oil change, Susan! More olive oil is required! :)

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  15. According to the fishing guide on LHI the Bluefish are good eating - I let him keep them for his mum!!

    Cheers - Stewart M - Melbourne

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    1. Yes...I did a little research on them, Stewart. Some fish, like Tailor and obviously Bluefish need to be bled and cleaned immediately and they then excellent eating. I know with Tailor they're best eaten fresh, not after being frozen. They're not really a good fish to freeze, but fresh they're great. We used to catch a lot of Tailor when they were on on the run during our visits to Fraser Island back in the early 80s.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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