STOP THE WORLD...I WANT TO GET OFF!

 

Happy Birthday  to Remy and Shama

 

If, at the age of 90 William Shatner can do it, so, too, can I at the age I am! 

However, I want to go further afield than he did...to soar off into space for longer than 10 minutes...off to another planet, with my two furry besties a travel buddies.   I’m sure there’s a planet, somewhere out they in the galaxy beyond, more pleasant to live in than this one is at present. 

The behaviour of many inhuman humans does not impress me one little bit.   

For instance, the behaviour of low-life scum...the hackers who have not an ounce of decency, respect, or dignity...the worthless predators pretending to be from NBN (National Broadband Network for those in the Northern Hemisphere who would be unaware) who infiltrate the privacy and computers of others. 

These wastes-of-space invaded my privacy and computer the week before last...and I came out the loser.  I am hoping the situation will be rectified and I will be recompensed, but I am not holding my breath.

Anxiety, a nervous breakdown and a heart attack I do not need.  I WILL NOT allow those arse-holes to have the power over me.  They are worthless pieces of shit.  I make no apologies for my description of them.  I’m being a polite as I can be on this open forum.  In private, I am not as polite, I can assure you!

Each and every one of us has to be on high alert at all times. There are predators out there...and we, the decent people, are their prey.

I’ll let you know when I board the spaceship with Major Tom at the controls.   

There are some, I’m sure, who will be glad to see the back of me!  Take the other day, for instance...

There I was doing what I believe I do best...minding my own business...keeping to my own self; being the hermit I choose to be, and enjoy being...doing battle with a cryptic crossword.  Just as it appeared I was going to be the conqueror, a loud pounding on the door disturbed not only me, but the peace, the ever-present birds, and my two furry roomies.  

By the way, of most importance....

"Happy Birthday to my two feline mates, who turned 19 on 4^th November - they’re almost as old as me!”   

They are the loves of my life...I would be lost without them.

To the knocking on my door I responded in equal loudness to inform whoever was doing the pounding I was on my hobbling way.  To my surprise upon opening the door there stood two of our finest gentlemen in blue, their beaming smiles lighting up the day. Much to their surprise, like an apparition, there appeared I.  Having not expected visitors, let alone the cops, my teeth were nestled in their container on my bedside table where they spend most of their time when I’m alone, which is most of my time.  The tattered, old slacks I wore have seen far better days (I should toss them into the rubbish bin.  In my defence, they’re very comfortable).  My top was a garish mismatch to the slacks.  My hair was an ungodly mess.  I had been lounging on the bed doing cryptic crosswords, a pastime that didn’t require dressing up in my Sunday, or any day, best.  No fashion plate was I...not a contender for the cover of Vogue magazine!  Oh! Well!  It’s not the first time...and it won’t be the last.

The sight of me was enough to scare the living bejeezus out of Dracula, Frankenstein, Hannibal Lecter and Freddy Krueger combined!  Hey!  I even scare the living daylights out my own self when I look in the mirror.  That’s why I gave up doing so years ago.  I hope no one arrives, unheralded today...even without glancing in a mirror, I know my appearance would inspire Stephen King to pen another book.  In anticipation, Wes Craven and John Carpenter would be fighting over the rights to direct the movie version; and, from above, out there in the galaxy beyond, Alfred Hitchcock would be adding his tuppence worth.

The cops informed me that a prowler had been reported as being seen prowling around this little lane in the wee small hours of that particular morning.  Another idiot roams free!!!  If I’d spotted him he would have been a headless idiot and I informed my visitors of that fact...to which they replied, still with beaming smiles, “Good on you, Lee!”

If I’d gone out into the street in my dishevelled garb and appearance I’d have been easily mistaken for one of the participating scarecrows during our local Scarecrow Festival.  I would also have been a perfect candidate for Halloween.   Pity the poor kids if any had seen me!  They’d still be running far beyond the distant horizon screaming their little lungs out.

On a far more serious note...be aware...take care, folks.  There are too many in this world who are not worthy of the title “human”.  Those who believe what is yours, is theirs.  For example, the lowlife wastes-of-space hacker leeches who pretend to be from NBN....

 

Out of This World Sandwich: To make the meatballs: place 100g chicken mince, a handful of chopped spinach, ½ crushed garlic clove, 1/4tsp oregano, 1tbs panko breadcrumbs and 1tbs crumbled feta in bowl; season. Mix gently until well combined. Shape into 2 even-sized balls; flatten slightly. Heat pan over med-heat; spray lightly with oil spray. Cook chicken 6-8mins or until golden brown and cooked through, turning occasionally. Remove from heat; set aside to rest. To make tzatziki: Place 500g Greek yoghurt, 2cm piece cucumber, grated, lemon juice to taste, ½ garlic clove, crushed, and 1/2tsp finely chopped dill or parsley in a small bowl; season; mix well. To make the salad: Place 4 halved cherry tomatoes, ½ diced Lebanese cucumber, ¼ finely diced red onion and ¼ yellow capsicum, diced, in a bowl; toss gently to combine. To serve; stuff one half of pita bread with small handful of spinach leaves, the salad and the chicken meatballs. Drizzle over the tzatziki.  Enjoy!

Yummy Burritos: Toss 2c raw chopped cucumber, tomatoes, onion, capsicum, 1/2c corn kernels and 1/2c grated cabbage and carrots in bowl; season with salt, pepper and 1/4tsp oregano. You can make your own wraps if you’re feeling industrious, or if, like me, you’re lazy, heat burrito wrap; place 1 hot burrito on plate; apply tom sauce, mustard sauce, and cheese spread. Place one hot burrito on plate; spread a spoonful of hot red kidney beans in centre; put two spoons of salad mixture on it.  Spread over some more mustard sauce; roll up...and enjoy this, too!