Grab Your Easter Bonnets

I’ll tell you here and now, one frolic I won’t be frolicking this Easter is an Easter Egg Hunt, not after seeing a large carpet snake sun-baking on my roof the other day! I swear I saw a pair of sunglasses on his nose! I was very annoyed he’d not asked my permission to use my roof! So annoyed was I, I didn’t bother to warn him about skin cancer! He was a big fellow, too

To be totally honest with you, I’m not at all partial to snakes, and particularly when they infringe on my space. I think you know this already. In other words, I don’t like them at all, not even a teensy-weensy bit! The only snakes I like are “Snake” in the cartoon and snakes, the colourful lollies!

I rang the very efficient snake-catchers, Tom and Heidi, but my cowardly, uninvited visitor had slithered off to a hiding place before they arrived. He didn’t have the guts to hang around to meet them!

As soon as I spotted the snake, I quickly gathered up my two cats, tossing them into the house. After all the mayhem had died down, but not my heart from pounding, I walked into my lounge room to find both cats sitting side by side on the coffee table, looking at each other as if to say, “What did you do?” “Me? I didn’t do anything! What’d you do?” “Nothing! I thought it was you!” “Not Me!” "She must be having one of her 'turns'!"

Now you understand why I won’t be going on an Easter Egg Hunt this Easter unless I hide all my Easter eggs in the house somewhere. I wonder if I’ll find them! Damnit! I remember where I put them!

I've been kicking myself ever since I spotted the snake, though. I regret very much what I did. Acting out of sheer panic and thoughtlessness, I dragged out something to stand upon and whacked the snake as hard as I could. It, of course, slithered along the guttering, in the guttering. I shouldn't have disturbed it. It was my fault the snake-catchers couldn't find the damn thing when they arrived. I've been reprimanding myself ever since for my hasty action. I just hope the snake has decided to find green pastures away, away from my roof-top or anywhere near me. There is thick, protective bushland across the road. I'm sure he would like it much better over there, not hanging around this wild woman brandishing a fourteen-inch bladed knife and tomahawk in the other hand! Who mentioned "anger management?" It's more like "panic management" in my case. The anger came later, directed at myself.

I've not seen my unwelcome, unwanted sun-baker since and I hope I don't. Every time I wander outside my eyes are cast upwards towards my roof! He won't escape next time...take that as a definite warning and threat, Mr. Carpet Snake. (What a silly first name, anyway!)

Now, back to these chocolate Easter eggs....