You thought I said something else, didn't you?
I'm talking about dreams. Not the dreams we experience when sleeping, but our daily dreams, our fantasies of how we would like our lives to be.
Are you living your "dream"?
Even though I live and face life with my feet firmly on the ground, I dream. I have many fantasies of how I would like my life to be. That doesn't mean, however, I'm dissatisfied...not entirely. On the whole, I'm happy, but there are certain aspects of my life that cause me concern. "Concern", perhaps that's not the correct description. The feeling is difficult to put into words. At times, I wish there was "something else".
On an evening like this evening, after spending a long, leisurely lunch with friends, I'm now alone with my thoughts. A silent reverie, with a glass of red wine to my right, mellow music flowing from my stereo...the cats are settled in for the evening, at ease now that my guests have gone and my mind rambling over a field of emotions. Don't misunderstand me, I'm feeling great, but I would like, right this moment, to have someone to share these feelings with me. I guess I'm sharing them with you. I hope you don't mind.
Lunch today, this afternoon...shared over a five and a half hours or so expanse of seconds, minutes and hours with two very good friends was, as it always is with these particular friends, enlightening, interesting, fun, complete with honesty. We never "pretend". We are who we are...and are not afraid to show who we are to each other.
One of the nicest things anyone has said to me for a long time was at the end of the afternoon and our soiree, with the sun making its final farewell. My guests rose from the table, readying themselves to leave. Paul, as he rose from the table reached out and hugged me. Holding me close, he said, "Lee...you are great!"
I hugged him in return and pulled Fia, his wife, into our embrace. The three of us stood there with our arms around each other...and then broke out in laughter. It was a wonderful moment. That is what good friendship is about, mutual respect and "love". "We" are great...they and me...because we appreciate each other and, as I said earlier, we are honest with each other. Does that make sense? I don't mean to sound arrogant or egotistical. That is not my intention or meaning.
Paul is very persistent, stubborn and sneaky! For months, he has been plaguing me for one of my paintings. They already have three of my artistic attempts framed and hanging on their walls. I resisted time and time again, telling him a positive and definite "No! I like that painting and I want it myself! You can't have it!"
Not a man to accept "No"...he offered me a deal I couldn't refuse a week or so ago. Being a "shop-a-holic" he decided he and Fia needed a new refrigerator. Once he gets something in his mind, there is no stopping him! There was absolutely nothing wrong with the fridge they had. It was, and is, a magnificent beast. Out of the blue, he rang me offering my their "old" fridge at a price. I 'hummed and hahhed' over it, but after thought said "Yes", then I had second thoughts, thinking I would be flying to close to the wind if I went ahead with the deal, even though I desperately needed a new fridge as mine was close to dying on its non-existent legs.
To cut to the chase, a couple of days later, Paul appeared on my "doorstep" (I don't have a doorstep) and said, "I have a new deal for you! $200 plus "that" painting!" What could I say?
He won! Today, he and Fia went home with my painting firmly clutched in his hands and the $200.00...and I have an almost spanking new fridge! A 500lt monster, which I love!
Today, we christened my "new" fridge and my new raclette.
Raclette is a brilliant way of entertaining. I just laid out bowls of food...green prawns/shrimp, halved cherry tomatoes, garlic butter, stuffed mushrooms, diced bacon, grated mozzarella and parmesan cheese, garlic croutons, dill pickled cucumbers and pickled onions, olives, a cucumber/spanish onion/sliced green apple and sour cream salad. Faced with all these goodies, we proceeded to cook what we desired in our individual raclette pans under the element. And we were in our element!
A dessert of sliced peaches set in peach nectar, peach liqueur and champagne jelly topped with whipped cream followed, accompanied with a cheese platter, finished off with dark chocolate and brewed coffee.
"Dreams"...yes, I have many. Too many to mention, I suppose, but today was reality...and it was great. Sometimes, I guess....just sometimes....I wish I had someone with whom to share these special moments. It's times like now as I write, listening to my music, even though I'm not feeling "down" or "blue"...I wish I had that "special" someone by my side...if only for tonight.
That is my dream right now.
Hi Lee ~~ I am glad you had a happy time with your friends, but do realize that someone special would be the icing on the cake. At least you have a nice new fridge and you could paint yourself more paintings. I hope you are happy, jus something missing I guess. We love you Lee, so
ReplyDeletekeep writing for us. Take care, Love,
Merle.
Lee, sounds like a delightful time for all. You are a wheeler dealer. Hope you find someone to share the fridge with soon. He has to be a cat lover, I would guess.
ReplyDeleteReally close good friends, the ones you know will walk in the door when things get really tough for you, are one of life's few treasures.
ReplyDeleteWe are blessed with two different couples like that. One couple lives close the other 600 miles away. (Ralph in my blogroll)
One of the many things I like about close friends is that you can say 'anything' no matter how out of character and if it needs to be forgotten it will be. If you confide in them you wouldn't need to say "this is in confidence." They wouldn't share your problems with anyone else anyway. By the way I seldom do that kind of stuff because I figure I shouldn't be saying anything the whole world couldn't hear.
I'm happy for you and your friends. My hope is that someday that special someone will appear and get to spend the rest of his life making that a party of four.
BTW, if you are right handed (odds say you are) the wine should be on your left. That way you can use your mouse and drink at the same time. If you're left handed...sorry I blew up.
Hi Lee, I think it's fair to say that anyone who lives alone, no matter how content they are with their own company, get that same feeling you are trying to describe.
ReplyDeleteThere are times when it surfaces more regularly than others, usually for no apparent reason, but then you tend to think of the freedom you enjoy now.....
a sometimes friend who is perfectly attuned to the same wave length seems to be the only answer.
Have another wine buddy... you'll feel better.
I agree with Merle, you got a wonderful fridge and you can always do another painting.
ReplyDeleteDreams get fulfilled when you least expect them to be filled,just keep dreaming. I will continue to enjoy my moments with great stories from friends and let my imagination run with me on the times when my dreams are on hold. May we continue to share great moments.
Hi Lee, I strongly believe that your special someone is out there. For now be thankful that you have such special friends because they are very hard to come by in my book. You are a very special women and that Mr. Right could be just around the corner. P. S you make me so hungry every time I visit your blog.
ReplyDeleteMerle, Steve, Cliff, Peter, Sandra and Shelly...what wonderful people you all are. Thank you for you very kind comments. :)
ReplyDeleteI am right-handed,Cliff...I only had the one glass as I was sitting here dreaming, writing and listening to the music...and wasn't in too much of a hurry to finish....next time though, I'll heed your advice! ;)
Again, thank you everyone...you certainly are uplifting...(not that I was feeling down...but next time I am...I'll remember your words)
I hope you find someone as special as you Lee. You are so much fun and such a great cook, some guy would be lucky to win your heart. I hope he knows how to kill carpet snakes too.
ReplyDeleteMe too, Corn Dog! I wonder if that saying "a way to a man's heart is through his stomach"? Now, where did I put that drill! ;)
ReplyDeleteLee,
ReplyDeleteI understand completely how you are feeling. I was married for a dozen years or so, and then lived alone for a few years. I would sit in the living room and it was totally quiet. That was nice for a year or so, but like you, I would think to myself, there has to be more to life than this. It was a feeling like life was passing me by...kind of marking time. I saw no real future in my job, though I liked it because I was my own boss, and called the shots as I saw them (My employee number was 007, really!).
I at one point considered re-enlisting in the Air Force. That's about the time I met Stormy, and it didn't take too much to kill that idea. So it was new wife and new job soon thereafter.We have now been married 27 years and there's fire still there.
The person who came up with "opposites attract" should be shot. It makes things real difficult. Lee, you need to meet more new SINGLE people. Perhaps one of the personality matching services that really do match kindred souls would work. Hey they are a filter to remove the chaff up front. Not sure what you have availible down under. Just a thought.
And, good morning, is it raining yet?
Hi lee,
ReplyDeleteThat was a very beautiful post.
He's quite the manipulator that Paul.
I hope that someone comes along to Mount Tamborine for you, the brother of the knight in shining armour who Welshcakes is expecting momentarily in Sicily.
By the way I'm definitely coming for lunch, don't know about cooking it myself in the raclette. Well if that's the price I have to pay.
regards
jmb
Marc...thanks for your kind words...I wasn't at all feeling down and depressed. I was feeling on top of the world when I wrote the post. I was still in a bit of a party mood, that's all! I love my privacy and own space...have been doing so for many, many years. It's of my own choosing. I enjoy my "aloneness". I have no desire to join any dating services! lol
ReplyDeleteWe do have them here in Australia, but they are of no interest to me. I'm not into the art of dating. I hate it!
I think you took my post a little too seriously and read things into it that aren't there. But I do thank you for your concern and advice! ;)
I have dreams and fantasies all the time...have done since I was a kid...nothing changes. Boy! I had a list of phantom "boyfriends"...whoever was the leading movie star at the time.
It was only in the "heat of the moment", that I felt like sitting back with a kindred spirit. The moment soon passed when I got stuck into watching a good movie! ;)
It would take a very special, extraordinary man to take me on, I can assure you! lol And none are game to even if he is out there! ;)
Jmb....you would really enjoy raclette...it is a great way to entertain and a terrific luncheon idea. As for that "knight in shining armour" I was only wishing he would stop by...for a night! ;)
All is well in my neck of the woods. :)
Your friend Paul is a very smart man. Your paintings, charcoal drawings, and that sunset water color will carry priceless memories long after both 'fridges are gone.
ReplyDeleteThank you, gto...that's very nice of you. :)
ReplyDeleteLee, your post struck a chord, I know exactly what you mean and I have been feeling like that a little too often lately. It's certainly not feeling down, but just occasionally wishing for someone to share your dreams with sometimes.
ReplyDeleteIt's obviously a single person's "syndrome", isn't it? Not a loneliness, just a fleeting wish for someone at times.
Sounds like you had a wonderful christening of your raclette.
Here's to you and friends...cheers!
That's it, Robyn...you understand what I was trying to say...thanks. :)
ReplyDeleteIt certainly was a fun afternoon...we three always never seem to miss the beat and have a great time together. We always succeed in eating far too much even though we always say we won't...and of course, it's alway up to individually...as I place the food on the table...I never plate...so whatever one eats and how much is entirely up to him or her! And of course, with raclette, you cook your own as you go. So I can not be held responsible! ;)
ok, while everyone else is trying to help you find your "mate".. I want to know what the painting was of that you wanted to keep and Paul wanted so badly! Do you have a photo we can see??
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me life is mystery and all we can do is to experience what I call a sense of wonderment; ultimately our destiny at times is beyond our grasp. We live within this wondrous universe and aren’t able to step outside it to view it indepenantly, hence the ultimate truth is beyond us.
ReplyDeleteI think all of us at one time or another are in a state of anticipation or longing over some aspect of our lives. It is good that you openly share your thoughts with us.
Why each us carries some form of burden is a mystery, but it seems to me even when one is overcome another will effortlessly arise in its place. Sometimes dreams come true, but I have come to the conclusion, fundamentally different to how I thought in my youth, that we are not as much in control of our ultimate destiny as we think, but rather influenced by our particular environment and its random events. At least that is the conclusion I have reached.
Best wishes
Hi, Lee. This is a lovely post and I know exactly what you mean: you can be content with your life but you just want someone "special" to share certain moments with. Well, as you say, you have shared them with us and we are all very glad. I don't think people can understand, though, who are not on their own. But that sounds like a great deal you got there and Paul is a happy man now he has his picture! Do post a photo of your fab new fridge! Many people think I am "living my dream" and in some ways I am. But nobody really knows what another person's life is like and it is not without its problems. No one has everything so it sometimes seems to us that they do. I hope you find solace in your writing because you are a great writer. And I know that, like me, most of the time you are happy. That is a great thing. Love from Sicily.
ReplyDeleteDeslily, Lindsay and Welsh...thank you for your thoughts on my thoughts...I think from everyone's comments, we're all pretty much the same. Nothing is ever perfect but as long as we aim as high as we can and are content the majority of the time, I believe life is pretty good. :)
ReplyDeletelee,
ReplyDeleteFrom the other side of the fench; I think you have the best of both worlds.
Without our dreams we become automotons. ;-)
rel
ps. thanks for sharing the special moments with us...it was mutual.
I agree, Rel...we must all have our own personal dreams...life wouldn't be much fun without them. :)
ReplyDeleteI think I'm better off alone and not be inflicting my insanity on anyone else! I'm being fair to the rest of humanity! Hehehehehe!
Ohmagosh! Just checking in! Lee, so glad you have such good friends. Good friends are like jewels. I know how you feel about sharing moments with someone. And I understand that it is joy you want to share, not loneliness. I too have those times in my life where life is so good, I just want to share it with someone. Hang in there Lee. If it is meant to be, he will show up in your life!
ReplyDeleteIt is my loss for not checking your blog more often!
I'm trying to figure out what a raclette is...
ReplyDeleteIs it like a fondue pot?
I've given up on that one, Neo! I think it's not meant to be! Lucky him, whomever he may have been! lol
ReplyDeleteDon...yes...raclette is somewhat similar to fondue in that it is table-top cooking. If you scroll back on my blog to April 5th you will see pictures of a raclette and of recipes. They are fun. And we had a wonderful time over some delicious food.
That raclette is too cool. That's one kitchen toy I don't (yet) have. I'll keep my eye out for one.
ReplyDeleteI remember some sheila who once told me about having kitchen toys. She seemed to think that such toys ruined the spirit of cooking. What was her name again? Rhymed with "glee," I think...
I wonder who that was! And I didn't say that, anyway! ;)
ReplyDeleteDear Lee
ReplyDeleteLooking at how many comments you received on your post I am sure that your special someone will be found very soon!
And I sooo agree with your comments on raclette: it is so entertaining and easy to prepare I wonder why not everybody has a raclette grill!
As you are from Australia... do you have the Raclette Australia raclette grill aptly named "The Entertainer"? That's the one I have and it is just great!
They also just brought out a raclette recipe book, in case you don't know what else to do with a raclette grill, but I just go with my instincts.
Cheers!
Hi Vanessa...no, I don't have a raclette recipe book...I, too, just go on instinct. There are many varied types of foods to utilise...endless possibilities. :)
ReplyDelete