Blame it on the wind, blame it on the chill in the air, blame it on my lack of understanding of my fellow "man" (or theirs of me)....blame it on what you wish...but when the "mean reds" descend, it's time for a poem. It's been quite a while since I posted one of my poems, so I've chosen to burden you with this one today. Meanwhile, I'm going to go and bang my head against the wall, make a cup of capuccino, cuddle the cats...and then hang out the laundry!
I think I must be suffering a "weekend hang-over" (not from over-indulgence) or "Monday-itis" (that started last week). This feeling will pass as will the chilly winds.I hope everyone had a great weekend.
The first "Bloggers' Convention" was held in Brisbane on Sunday with Robyn, Peter and Wazza in attendance. Unfortunately, because of a prior committment, I missed it...maybe next time. From what I've read, Toowong will never be the same again and a "rose is not a rose" unless worn between the teeth. How could you forget it, Robyn! I so did want a picture of you in tango mode, slinking across Sherwood Road!
Solitude of the Heart
Is this solitude of my own selfish choosing a wall a defense
Against intruders of my peace caused by fractious insecurities
Created so long ago each day more profound in its intensity
Is there no where to hide from my secret fears no one to share
Pitifully sad existence my entity my life is there no one to care
Brave countenance a desperate bid to convince others I am strong
Whilst within these walls bearing painful scars from all the wrong
Some battles won but as many lost forever a heart-wrenching war
Never-ending lofty imposing hurdles a-plenty many I dare not soar
Unconquerable mountains hindering my way traversing valleys deep
Impossible to ascend long desperate nights confused unsettled sleep
Repetitiously I continue being to others what they think me to be
Myself a solitary soul desiring concealment hidden for no one to see
How long will this pattern continue before I can acknowledge defeat
A wont to be invisible in disguise perhaps in masquerade or obsolete
Standing at a crossroad endless search for a haven in which to be free
Shrouded in a veil of secrecy overcome by an urgent penchant to flee
Tears well as my strength disintegrates my heartache remains unhealed
Though gallantly I try to escape the pain gathering around me a shield
Surrendering defeated I am swept aside by forceful winds of discontent
Across the surging shores of life my emotions finally hysterically spent
Over the stillness of night piercing the moonlight woefully they echo
Avid devourers of my spirit when will this anguish this suffering let go
(Written by Lee)
Lee
ReplyDeleteI have just read your last 3 post.
My eyes became misty when I read about your Mother.
The Yellow submarine was quiet the funny story. If they had listened, you would not have had the funny story to share.
You should have cuddled the cats last. LAUNDRY what a dirty word.
I am like the book "Give a Mouse a Cookie". I have been saving for a new laundry system for three years. Today I found out I will have to cut off some of my cabinets. Seems as if all machine are now 27 inches wide and my old tub is 25 1/2.
Take care and hope all goes well for you this week.
Hi Lady Di....you are correct...without the guys doing "their own thing"...I would be without the story...and it was a funny time...and was another good challenge to face and beat. ;)
ReplyDeleteLaundry is done...the worst part is having to bring the damn stuff back inside again to fold and put away!
Thanks for your good wishes...I hope your week goes well for you, too.
Sometimes, Lee, I find I have to have a good howl with waterfall tears to let go of the angst that builds up over time.
ReplyDeleteSometimes there's no-one to feel sorry for us but ourselves...and that's ok, too.
Hugs
Yep...I let the dam walls down last night, Robyn. ;)
ReplyDeleteHi Lee,
ReplyDeleteSoulful poem, but I hope your usual fun self appears again soon. Maybe the winter is getting to you.
Take care
jmb
Hey jmb....my old self is never too far away! ;)
ReplyDeletethat's beautiful , Lee, and I identify with every word.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading my poem, Welsh. :)
ReplyDeleteLee what an awesome poem. You are only human and everyone feels this way at certain times in our lives. It is wonderful that you can express it so well in your poem. I someimes struggle with letting people really know who I am and how I really feel, I sometimes feel like I just want everyone to think my life is perfect, perfect marriage, perfect family when really it's not. Sometimes it feels so good after a great cry for me. Take care Lee, there will be better day's
ReplyDeleteHi Shelly...we're all guilty of putting up our facades at times...self-protection. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your kind words...I'm fine...just a fad I was going through! ;)