Not Invited!
I'm sick and tired of finding uninvited, unwelcome visitors in my bed!
A few moments ago, I sauntered into my back room with my mind on what I was about to do, when I came to an abrupt halt. There resting on the bed was a damn big blue-tongue lizard! How dare he! I let out a suitable gentle word describing my shock. He didn't flinch an eyelid!
So, I grabbed my trusty weapon, the broom....and proceeded to direct him back outside to where he belongs. Sir Blue-Tongue didn't take kindly to this demeaning treatment of his royal self. His reaction was quite violent, actually. He dared to spin around a number of times to give me nasty displays of his wrath at being disturbed, let alone being pushed back into the wilds and forced to mingle with lowly creatures below his station in life! Once outside, he did a final about-turn to show me he was not yet beaten nor cowered. Cocking his head up high, he opened his mouth wide. With a final ostentatious flourish of his irritation at being dispatched in such a way, he flicked his tongue at me in a most unpleasant manner! I returned the favour! After all, I still held the upper hand...and the broom in it, I might add!
Meanwhile, Remy, my male cat, asleep on top of a bookcase was totally oblivious to the drama unfolding around him!
When will everyone understand...it's the tall, dark handsome 'you-know-what' I want to discover on my bed, not a blue-tongue lizard! Santa never gets it right!
Can't blame Santa Lee, he only read the note you wrote your request on, you need to be more specific!!
ReplyDeleteOh! Does this mean I have to wait until the end of this year, Peter for my wish to come true?
ReplyDeleteOh! Well...I'll have to find something to occupy my days and nights with in the meantime!
Now Blue Tongues dont bite unless provoked,like most species.So you did well to nudge out your friend with a broom with a minimum of hissing !!
ReplyDeleteA frightened blue-tongue may bite if it is picked up, but if your exceptionally kind - your blue tongue may have stayed on the mat next to your bed !! Blue-tongues are long-lived, several captive animals have lived for more than 20 years, and they may even live much longer, outliving Remy your cat !!. Look at the opportunity you missed !!to have a blue tongue as a companionm fed on daily mixture of snails from your garden .
best wishes
I can think of far better bedside companions, Lindsay, than a blue-tongue lizard, thank you very much!
ReplyDeleteAt least, my two cats are furry and cuddly...and return affection. I doubt very much this would occur with a blue-tongue!
I have read or been told somewhere along the way, that if a blue-tongue lizard bites, the sore returns at the original spot of where it bit you, annually. Not sure if this is true or not...but I think it very well could be.
So, no...lizard stays outside...cats stay inside! And I still await an answer from Santa! ;)
Remy is not earning his keep. He needs to be on lizard patrol!
ReplyDeleteI suppose it could have been worse: I believe you have some nasty spiders out in Australia.
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to wait till next Christmas: you can wish on stars, y'know!
Oh God, Lee. I know what it's like to have unwanted visitors in your bed. Try a couple of huntsman spiders. (Shudder) I had nightmares for weeks!
ReplyDeleteWell, between 18ft pythons and now blue-tongue lizards...I'm starting to worry, Robyn! ;)
ReplyDeleteHey...thanks for visiting, Liz...nice to see you. I'll have to revert to wishing upon a star or two, I think...it's been overcast here the past few nights but the stars will be out tonight! Maybe I'll swing on a few as well! ;)
Spiders don't worry, Robyn...I've got a big one on the wall behind my computer here...he's been up there all day while I've been doing stuff on the computer. I think he might be waiting for me to get off it so he can have a go!
ReplyDelete"spiders don't worry me"...is what I should have written in my previous comment. Sorry... :)
ReplyDeleteheeheehe - I'm sure spiders do actually worry Lee - at least they do if they try to live around here! We have those big hairy tree spiders that build webs all around the trees just at well-disguised head height. My broom is standard apparel for a walk around the yard.
ReplyDeleteBut ugh! No thankyou, no blue-toungued bed-partners for me, thankyou! They DO bite ... oooh I am still shuddering.
Anyway, I'm about to do some more catch-up reading, can't wait to find out what it is that you did (or was that didn't?) ask for, for Xmas...
:-)
Della
Good to have you back, Della...sometimes my car looks like a a travelling giant cobweb! And the outside of my cabin is in disguise as a cobweb, too! ;)
ReplyDeleteI see you use a similar weapon as I do, Della...our mothers must have been related as I got that habit from mine, I'm sure! lol
I guess it pays to have a sense of humor about such things. But any sized bug would terrify my wife. And if it were in her bed, we'd be calling the exterminator, even if there were just one.
ReplyDeleteBut I read recently where Australians live longer. Must be because they laugh more. That's supposed to be rejuvenating. I seem to recall that you're 250 years old, right?
Lizards and Spiders. They don't bother me, but my wife lets out a scream for me when she finds a spider. I think what you wanted to find Lee, was a blue blood. (grin)
ReplyDeleteThat's right Dave and I put down my longevity to barrels of laughter, gallons of red wine and an inability to count! ;)
ReplyDeleteBlue-blooded, hot-blooded, red-blooded...anything but blue-tongued, Steve! And definitely with only two legs!
Hi Lee, I'd love that pineapple and carrot cake recipe. My email is liz.hinds@btinternet.com and I'd be really grateful if you'd send it.
ReplyDeleteHope you have a night without (uninvited) visitors.
Okay...Liz...consider it done!:)
ReplyDeleteHi Lee
ReplyDeleteFollowed you from cablog and I'm glad I did. It's a releif to read a "sane" and funny blog after all the agro and crap some others write about. Your blog is like a letter from a favourite aunt, talking about the good life.
I hope it stays cool up there in sunny Qld as I'm off to The Gold Coast in a cople of weeks and it will be good to escape the oppresive heat (over 40) that we have had here in western Vic.
Hi Turner....nice to meet you...glad you joined in with my bit of madness! ;)
ReplyDeleteYou certainly have been copping the heat and fires down your way. The bush fires are horrific. I hope you're safe in your neck of the woods. They've been burning for a long time...let's hope the rain comes to dowse them out forever!
I'm sure you'll find a cooling sea breeze when you get to the coast! :)
I'm still smiling at that post, Lee. You are very brave to take on a lizard! Let's hope Santa gets it right next year, but maybe you won't have to wait that long. My mother always said, "He'll come along when you're not looking, you know"!
ReplyDeleteI think I posted my reply to you, Welsh somewhere else! I had one eye open and one closed at the time! It was in the wee small hours of early morning! ;)
ReplyDelete