I'm sick and tired of finding uninvited, unwelcome visitors in my bed!
A few moments ago, I sauntered into my back room with my mind on what I was about to do, when I came to an abrupt halt. There resting on the bed was a damn big blue-tongue lizard! How dare he! I let out a suitable gentle word describing my shock. He didn't flinch an eyelid!
So, I grabbed my trusty weapon, the broom....and proceeded to direct him back outside to where he belongs. Sir Blue-Tongue didn't take kindly to this demeaning treatment of his royal self. His reaction was quite violent, actually. He dared to spin around a number of times to give me nasty displays of his wrath at being disturbed, let alone being pushed back into the wilds and forced to mingle with lowly creatures below his station in life! Once outside, he did a final about-turn to show me he was not yet beaten nor cowered. Cocking his head up high, he opened his mouth wide. With a final ostentatious flourish of his irritation at being dispatched in such a way, he flicked his tongue at me in a most unpleasant manner! I returned the favour! After all, I still held the upper hand...and the broom in it, I might add!
Meanwhile, Remy, my male cat, asleep on top of a bookcase was totally oblivious to the drama unfolding around him!
When will everyone understand...it's the tall, dark handsome 'you-know-what' I want to discover on my bed, not a blue-tongue lizard! Santa never gets it right!