My 2006 Update.....

Simple Simon....Modern Times...

Simple Simon met a barman
He thought he wasn't fair
Said Simple Simon to the barman
You have no flare, I swear

Said the barman to Simple Simon
Show me first your dollar
To let you in free is uncommon
Then he grabbed him by his collar

Simple Simon stood his ground
To catch his breath a while
Shaking his head he looked around
He began to feel a little hostile

Simple Simon glanced about him
But no one else was there
Realising he was out on a limb
Sullenly he sat down upon a chair

Simple Simon dug in his pocket
To see what he could find
All he could detect was a docket
And it put him in a bad frame of mind

When he requested a glass of water
The barman asked for five dollars
He said, 'Come again, you oughta
The water is free to our regulars.'