Wednesday, January 22, 2014


I’m always cranky; it’s just the depth that varies; it’s akin to the saying with which you’re no doubt familiar. 

I've not made it public knowledge, but the television show "Grumpy Old Women" was actually based on me.  I gave them permission, of course; but I've not yet received any financial reward for doing so.  That makes me cranky, as you can well imagine!

I'm cranky because it's too damned hot here at present. Just attempting to do the simplest of things and I end up as a pool of water on the floor!  I hate it!  (I suppose, on the up side, the floor is getting washed)! 

Two minutes out from under a lukewarm shower...and it's time to get back under it again.  The humidity is so high it makes me cranky!  Wring me out like a rag! 

And, again, I guess there is an up side...there's no point using the bath towel to dry myself, because within seconds, I'm dripping wet I'm saving on doing the laundry!

I’m cranky I’ve no more Christmas cake left.  I’m cranky because I have only myself to blame. No one else is responsible for its demise; I ate it all; not in one sitting - don't be silly!. I'd be even crankier if someone else had eaten it all!   

Of course, I could make myself another one, but the only times I think of making fruit cakes are Christmas and Easter.   And, as I've already's too damn hot...too damn hot to be baking, that's for sure!  I'm baking and I'm not even in the oven!

Along with needing a retake on the cake, I’m cranky because there’s not a skerrick left of my ham, either. 

No! I didn’t eat the bone; but there was no point making pea and ham soup.  However, I wasn’t cranky about being unable to make the soup. It’s too darn hot for such a hearty soup.   

Like a battering ram I may have done the lam on the ham a while ago now, but it doesn’t mean I still can’t be cranky there is no more for me to feast upon. 

Hold the horses or swine…I’ve just remembered I cut off a few slices and hid them in my freezer.  Eureka!

The IGA-branded ham I devoured with relish (at times also accompanied by a dab or two of the bottled variety – one may as well go the whole hog) was the best ham I’ve had in a long time. From the first slice to the very last scrap I was hooked. Each time I removed the ham from its bag I became a frenzied harridan.  My shrew colours shone through!

Sadly, the day arrived when I had no other option but to wash, fold and put away my empty ham bag until next Christmas, which will probably be here again before we know it. All right! Calm down! I'm the only one allowed to be cranky around here!  I’ll go and wash my mouth out with soap!  

Being cranky makes me cranky; and just when I get over feeling cranky something else happens, and my cranky gets cranked up again!  

I’m not sure if it’s just me, or if others feel similarly to how I do, but there seems to be more idiots in the world today than ever before.   

Today we’re living in a “What’s Yours Is Mine” society. 

The mantra of those who believe they live in the “What’s Yours Is Mine” society is - “I don’t have to work to earn money to live. If something belongs to someone else, I don’t care! I want it! It’s mine; I'm going to take it!”   

Discipline, respect, thoughtfulness, empathy, politeness and good manners are becoming words of the past.  One day very soon we’ll have to go to a museum to view them; to see that once they did, in fact, exist.  We’ll find them in an exhibit a few metres across from the dinosaur display. 

Those of us who choose to live quiet, peaceful lives while enjoying time with loved ones and friends, when and if desired; those of us who simply do the things that give us pleasure with no intentions of interfering in the lives others are being held to ransom by fools.   

It’s not right; and it’s not right to hold the police or governments responsible for the actions of idiots.  People have to start becoming responsible and accountable for their own actions.  It’s time for them to wake up to themselves. Such people make me very cranky, indeed!

I'm extremely cranky about clowns who break into or try to break into the premises and/or private property of others; like the deadbeats who tried to break into my neighbours' garage during the early hours of the morning a couple of weeks ago!  They got disturbed by the owners before they completed their intent...they were intent on stealing my neighbours' cars.  There are only three house in this lane, and then my is, or was, a quiet, peaceful, secure area. 

Everyone who lives on this lane has worked all their lives to earn their keep, without having to lower themselves to criminal activities for survival.  

You can bet you bottom dollar the idiots who broke into my neighbours' property have never done an honest day's work in their lives!  These sorts of people and their actions make me very cranky!  Angry is probably even a better description!

I’m solely responsible for the destruction of my Christmas cake and ham.  I’m accountable; no one else. I am responsible for who I am; I'm accountable for my actions; why the hell aren't others accountable for their actions?  Who do they think they are? What the hell gives them the right?

While I’m cranked up…Derryn Hinch being in prison makes me cranky.  I admire Derryn for standing by his principles. Shame, shame, shame; shame on our hypocritical justice system; it’s a sham!  Our justice system, the judges and magistrates who sit on the benches make me cranky, too!

I used to know Derryn personally.  He is a good man.

And I'm sick to death of all the politically-correct garbage and the flag-waving civil libertarian so-called "do-gooders" who always appear, to me, to be on the side of the criminals...never the victims.  I think our weak justice system is made up of such thinkers if the pathetic sentences that are handed out; and those that aren't that should be set are any guideline!

I’m going to scram to reflect fondly on my ham bag; and of the ham it once held. Damn! I’ve no more ham, but I do have a Tim Tam. 

To be honest, as well as being cranky, I’m also a ham at times!

Ham & Egg Cups: Preheat oven 190C.  Heat 1tbs butter and 1tbs x-virgin olive oil in pan; sweat 2 large, finely-chopped shallots, 3mins; add 300g thawed, well-drained spinach; stir in 1/3 to 1/2c cream; season with salt, pepper and grated nutmeg; cook, stir often until cream thickens; about 5mins. Grab 8 ham slices; line non-stick muffin cups with ham; spoon heaped tablespoon spinach mix into cups; crack an egg into each; don’t break yolks; season; bake about 15mins. Cool briefly in cups; then remove to serve.  

Tim Tam Brownies: Preheat oven 190C. Melt 1/2c butter; remove from heat; stir in 1/2c cocoa powder and 1c firmly-packed brown sugar. Beat 2 eggs and 1/2tsp vanilla; blend in 1/2c plain flour and 1/4tsp salt. Spoon a thin layer of batter into lined dish; arrange Tim Tams on top of batter; cover Tim Tams with remaining batter; bake 15mins. Cut into squares when cool.  

No-Bake Tim Tam Tart: Remove label from a 395g can of condensed milk; pierce 2 small holes in top. Put can in a slightly larger pan; fill pan with cold water to about 1cm below top of can; bring to boil; simmer 3hrs (I can simmer for longer than that!) ensuring water level doesn’t drop below 1cm from top of can. When the caramel has cooked, remove can from water; cool a little before opening. Spoon into a bowl; cool. Base: blitz 200g pkt original Tim Tams in processor until fine crumbs. Melt 30g butter; cool slightly, then mix with crumbs; press firmly into base of 20cm loose-bottomed tart tin; push up the sides of tin to make case; chill, 25mins. Topping; melt 200g 70% dark chocolate with 50g butter in bowl over pan of hot water; stir to combine; cool. Pour layer of caramel over base; pour layer of melted choc over caramel; chill


  1. Perhaps we need to have a cranky off? Or can agree to mark out states/territories in which to grump. I will probably be bad tempered until winter, and may revert from time to time even then.

  2. Hahahahahahaha, EC. I'm glad to discover I'm not alone! ;)

  3. Sitting here, dressed like Scott of the Antarctic, I feel great sympathy for those who complain about a wee bit of heat. While the aged woolen gloves with the fingers cut out survive for the time being I attempt to understand why someone stuffed full of ham and enjoying a warm summer should feel 'cranky?'
    Once I have chipped the ice of the windows I will be able to tell if I can visit Tesco this morning, although their doors may have frozen closed again, and see if they possess any cheap ham, preferably without a big bone taking up space and adding to the price.
    'Cranky,' is not a word I would associate with you, although I find that a normal expression when I have to deal with a woman, they are usually cranky rather than obedient as they ought to be.
    Now, where is my ex WW2 Royal Navy duffle coat and thick leather gloves.....?

  4. Ha, I love Grumpy cat, I have a t-shirt with her on it saying "This Is my happy face". I think it's in fashion to be grumpy and cranky at the moment. Make the most of it! :D

  5. Lee, we have been having incredibly mild weather in comparison to you and further south. As for being cranky ~ don't beat yourself up ~ give yourself a hug and treat yourself with a pampering of some sort. I could not justify the cost of a ham this year. Like you I love it too much and would have eaten it all too. Mind you, I did not have Christmas cake either. Keep your cool ~ literally and figuratively.

  6. Well now I'm cranky because I have no access to Tim Tams! :)

    I hope you feel better now!

  7. Tut! Tut! Adullamite! A man of no sympathy or empathy! I'd be cranky if I had a pair of aged woollen gloves with no fingers!

    And who's spelling the American way now...."Woolen", no less!! Tsk! Tsk

  8. Hey there LL Cool Jo. Oh! If it's in fashion, I'll have to change my way! Back to being Happy Cat, if that is the case! ;)

  9. Hi Carol...overall it hasn't been too bad here...but we've just had a couple of runs of hot, hot weather along with the dense humidity; and that takes it out of you. We've had nothing like out in the western areas or the southern areas, of course....the heat they were experiencing down in those areas was horrendous.

    I prefer our winters, which are very mild in comparison to many other area. It never gets very cold...just chilly enough to feel cosy wearing a jumper etc.

    The half leg of ham was only $7.99 kg (they're down to $6.99 I noticed on Tuesday)...and as it covered many meals from when I first sliced into it...the cost really wasn't very high. I lived on it almost every day for a couple of weeks or so.

    I'm really not beating myself tongue was up my cheek a lot during my post...although not about the idiots in our society! :)

  10. Hey there, Lynn....yeah....I'm fine thanks....until something dropped on my toe yesterday; it not only made me cranky, but it hurt as well! lol

  11. Seems to be more idiots in the world today than ever before? - you got that right!

    And as for the heat ... that's enough to make anyone cranky. I couldn't stand it. You poor poor things!

  12. Hi Wendy...I think I should just stop listening to the news...because every bulletin is telling us of the idiotic, drunken/drug-fuelled violent behaviour that's happening more and more each day....and I'm just so fed-up with all the nonsense...and I know I'm not the only person who feels this way. The worrying thing is, I can't see things getting any better any time soon...if ever!

    Thanks for popping in. :)

  13. One thing I couldn't contemplate doing in heat is baking a cake. But I agree with Adullamite that "cranky" isn't a word I'd associate with you. Now, if ONLY i could get my feet warm....

  14. Hi Jenny...I made my Christmas cakes a few weeks before Christmas, before the heat hit. Every now and then I get smart...not often...just sometimes! When those moments occur, they're memorable! ;)

    Nice to see you. :)

  15. All CRANKED UP I SEE. My girl we could use a little of your heat over on this side of the world. It is too DAMN cold for the South. 4 degree wind chill factor this morning and tomorrow colder. Sounds like yawl are fairing the way of us Americans. Ole Big Ears here is giving all the money we do not even have away. As for the decline of the admirable traits, yes we again have the same fate. No one even knows what they mean anymore. Officials get elected to add more bucks to their bank accounts and give what others have earned by hard work away to THE STUPIDS because they can buy their votes with words and a little freebie. If it continues I fear a another civil war which will pale the one we had in the late 1800. Peace be with you ole Crank B---

  16. Hi Lady and I think alike, it would seem. I have no idea where the world is going. It's becoming a very weird place!

    And people wonder why I'm reclusive and keep to myself pretty much!! The answer is simple; the answer is easy!

    Thanks for coming by, Miss Kitty. :)

  17. Well! That was a good rant! I just had a dark chocolate black sea salt caramel bar...that would help, no?

  18. Sounds good to me, RK! lol

  19. Whoa, I did not believe it possible, but you have made Adullamite appear to be not nearly as cranky as I though. Um, I probably better not say anything more--huh?

  20. Smart thinking, Jerry! ;)

  21. I dare comment? Will I be on the receiving end of a dose of cranky?

    That was certainly a cranky rant and a half, Lee...feel better now? I do know what you're getting at though, especially with regard to our pissy justice system and people not taking responsibility...for anything! Grrr!

  22. It flows like a wave of nausea, Robyn! ;)

  23. Don't worry Emperor Abbott tells us climate change is crap so the heat is just part of your over-cranked mind. Feel better now?

  24. Heat is part of summer...our summers. The last few days have been very pleasant, actually, Cosmo. Today has been lovely and cool.

    Every summer we have a few days of excessive far back as I can remember. Similar to the conditions you experienced down your way the first week of the Aus Open. Thankfully, the heat I whinged about here, didn't reach the heights you guys did down in Victoria. the way...I'd rather have "Emperor Abbott" as you call him than Rudd the Dudd or Henny Penny the Rhode Island Red or the two-faced, knife-wielding Shorten. The only thing not shortening about Shorten is the size of the top of his head from his eye-brows seems to be growing in size daily. It must be from hot air filling the can't be from the size of his brain! ;)