Sunday, August 09, 2015

ROASTING, NOT BOASTING - I'D BE TOAST IF I WERE!



Jack Kerouac
Neal Cassady and Jack Kerouac

Ginsberg, Kerouac and Corso




I wish I was like those folk who are proficient in blowing their own trumpet. Many seem to have the art of blowing their own trumpet down pat; proving it often. Some do so too often!

It’d be a starting point if I had a trumpet to blow, I suppose. 

From the get-go I’m on the back foot because I don’t own a trumpet; not even a borrowed one; let alone a stolen clarion. If I had a horn to blow, no matter from where it originated or to whom it belonged, I’d have to learn how to blow it first, before I blew it. 

I wish I had something about which to blow my own trumpet - if I had a trumpet (borrowed or stolen), that is!

My neighbours are probably glad I don’t have a trumpet to blow; and that I have no idea how to blow one.  Anyway, I don’t have anything to crow about. The crows perched in the trees have a lot to crow about, it seems. Because they’re crows, I suppose they’re allowed to get away with crowing.  That’s their excuse, anyway; and they sure do flaunt it!

I could pretend by making up a few fictional achievements; spin a yarn or four or more; invent some fantasies about which I could blow my sham trumpet.  At first blast any would-be listeners would take flight!

Talking about spinning yarns - before I continue I freely admit most of my knitting efforts, of which there were few, were hopeless.  I was no pearl in the art of knitting. The first jumper/sweater I knitted was a moss-green coloured V-neck. The V in the neck reached my navel. When the instructions told me to “Cross two, purl left”; I purled left and crossed four.  When instructed to “Cross two and purl right” – I probably crossed them all off and did a diamond! Various stitches magically appeared throughout the jumper.  I discovered I could do moss stitch and didn’t have a clue how or where I learned to do it!  One sleeve was longer than the other, which meant the fingers on my right hand were kept warm, while I had to wear a woollen glove on my left hand to keep it warm otherwise if felt ignored.  The extra long V-neck matched the length of my finished product; the jumper ended up about one inch from the top of my knees.  I created the mini before minis were created! 

Fortunately, the “Beat Generation” was still swinging in the early1960s. After having seen the movie, “The Subterraneans” based on the novella written by famed Beat Generation author Jack Kerouac, and having fallen in love with the handsome, roguish Kerouac, the film and his writings, the romanticised beatnik stereotype captured an inquisitive young teenager’s fantasies.  My moss green, over-sized, completely out of whack jumper kind of suited the beatnik dress code; especially when worn with black tights while listening to Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Pete Seeger, The Springfields, Peter, Paul & Mary, Sonny (Terry) & Brownie (McGhee), Carmen McCrae, Odetta, Nina Simone and so many, many more…as my friends and I spent many hours discussing and questioning the poetry of Allen Ginsberg and the philosophies of Kafka, Nietzsche, Joyce et al.  The music suited our in depth conversations.

Once again…I’ve digressed…I wandered off on the road with Kerouac….

When it came to crocheting I gave up crocheting after my second attempt. To see me making a botch of a swatch wasn’t pretty to watch. The bane of my existence was trying to progress to a chain. By hook or by crook I couldn’t even feign I had control of the skein. I slipped up; everything became knotted. In stitches, I was out of the loop so I gave up without a fight.

Nothing is as simple as it might appear.  I can’t blow a party favour properly!  You know the ones I mean.  They’ve been around since I was a kid. We had them at our birthday and Christmas parties.

Here’s proof of how inept I am at blowing a trumpet of any description - whenever I try to blow one of those multi-coloured party favours I either hit someone in the eye or nose accompanied by a weak squeak - from the party favours, not the person whose eye or nose I’ve hit. A loud roar, louder than a crow’s craw erupts from my hapless victim as he/she moves as far away from me as possible.

I’m not sure what got me started on this vein. Maybe an ill wind blew making me feel a mite defeated, useless and out of sorts because I’ve nothing worth boasting about. I didn’t even invent the wheel. How difficult could that have been? If I had I’d still be going around spruiking my moment of brilliant creativity.  I’d spin it for all its worth! 

Unlike a celebrity, I’m not famous enough to be the subject of a roast, but I could be given a roasting for being ineffectual; for not having done anything worthwhile to inspire some trumpet blowing.

I’m sure I’ve made a few ripples over the years, but none worth shouting about from rooftops. At times I’ve probably blown a fair bit of hot air.

However, even if I had achieved anything newsworthy I wouldn’t go around blowing my own trumpet, if I had one; nor would I blow a trumpet belonging to someone else - from rooftops or from ground level. In my opinion, it’d be uncouth to do so.  Feeling duly reproached I’d accept my deserved roasting. 

It’s obvious I’m no threat to Louie Armstrong, Miles Davis, Dizzy Gillespie or Wynton Marsalis, all of whom were expert trumpet blowers.

Blow it! I will boast by pronouncing I am able to cook a mighty mean roast. By that I mean a generously fine roast; and I can make golden toast!

Pot Roast: Heat oven, 180C. Combine 1tsp chopped fresh thyme, 2tsp sweet paprika, 2tsp flaky sea salt, 2tsp freshly ground pepper, 1tsp dry English mustard and 1tsp brown sugar. Rub into 2kg piece of brisket/chuck/round. Warm 2tbs oil in casserole; cook until crisp 200g bacon, cut into 1cm cubes; remove bacon; drain. Leave 3tbs fat in pot; add beef; brown; remove beef to plate. Add 500ml dry red wine or dark beer to pot; bring to boil; reduce to about 150ml; add 200ml beef stock and a splash of Worcestershire; add bacon; place 2 large onions, thinly sliced, 10 peeled garlic cloves and 3 bay leaves around beef. Cover; roast 1hr; turn beef; cook further hour; add water if it begins to look dry; transfer meat to plate. To pot add 4 large carrots, 4 medium parsnips and 1 small celeriac, cut into 3cm pieces; add 4-5 whole small turnips; stir to coat; put beef on top. Cover; roast 45-50mins; spoon fat from surface; season

Glazed Pork Roast: Preheat oven 175C. Rub salt and ground ginger into 2.5kg pork loin centre rib roast on bone. Place pork, fat side up in pan. Roast 2 to 2-1/2 hours. Combine ½ orange marmalade, 1/2c dried chopped cranberries, 1tbs Dijon mustard and 2-1/2tsp Tabasco; brush pork with mix after 1 hour; and thereafter every 15mins. Remove roast to platter; cover loosely. Skim fat off pan juices; serve roast with pan juices. 

Roast Lamb Shoulder: Preheat oven, 180C. Put 300g cubed Swede turnip, 2 garlic cloves, 4 chopped celery stalks, 2 red onions, cut into wedges, 300g sliced carrots, 300g pumpkin, chopped and 300g potatoes, halved into roast pan; nestle lamb shoulder in centre; add 200ml red wine, 1tbs water, 3tbs tomato purée and coriander; season; cover; cook 1hr; remove cover; cook uncovered 45-50mins.

36 comments:

  1. I've never seen pictures of Jack Kerouac before, he's rather nice looking.
    There's no learning involved with blowing a trumpet, really, blow for all you're worth. Playing a tune of course is a whole different matter..........(*~*)
    And you do so too have plenty to crow about. Fabulous cooking for a start, and running tropical resorts, travel agencies, real estate offices. Give yourself some credit here.

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  2. Hi there, River. Kerouac certainly was a very attractive man, that's for sure! :)

    I'd scare elephants if I tried blowing a trumpet, River! I cause a stampede! lol

    Thanks for coming by. I hope the start of the week is treating you well. :)

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  3. Well I'm certainly going to be borrowing your recipes and can't wait to try them.

    Hmmm, wondering if I come across as blowing my own horn, I know we Yanks have a tendency to do so. Not how it's intended, really, mostly it's a matter of relief that I can still do something (somewhat) useful, lol.

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    1. Hey there, Jacqueline...As long as you've can blow your trumpet melodiously and have something real to blow it about...go for it! lol

      Thanks for blowing in! :)

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  4. We were brought up NOT to blow our own trumpet. Sadly I think this too often means we devalue ourselves.
    Add determination, writing skills, being a good employer (which is rare) and a supreme carer of cats to River's list.

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    1. Hi River...Yes, we were brought up to "not blow our own trumpet". I know it was that way when I was a kid...even praise so often wasn't given within earshot in case we "got a big head"! These days...it's gone to the other extreme in so many ways, I think.

      You and River are being very generous in your kind words...thank you both...and thanks for coming by. :)

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  5. I could never blow a trumpet but my Gary can, he used to play in bands but hated the smoke filled bars he played in back then so gave it up. I never knitted but did crochet a bit, never enough to make a garment, just doilies. Your roasts, in fact all your meals, do shine.

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    1. Hi Linda...there certainly is an art to blowing a trumpet and I do love listening to a good trumpet player...I love saxophone, too. Whenever either are used in a rock band, they just make such a difference to the overall sound.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  6. I could be accused of blowing my own trumpet in blog land, but that is only because I would never do it in real life. Instead I sulk when others don't acknowledge my contributions and that is not pretty either. I might have said something to the effect of "times have changed and it is up to each of us to be our own champions" on my own blog ~ Apologies for any offence Lee. I know what it is like to read something which gets under your skin.

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    1. Hey Carol...I'm a little confused...I'm not sure why you're offering an apology ...or why I should be offended.

      I was just prattling on for the fun of it...nothing has gotten under my skin to cause this particular prattle! :)

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  7. Oh, methinks you are very good at blowing your own horn. (LOL?)

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    1. Naaaa, not me, Jerry! It'd trip up on the first note and my false teeth would end up on the other side of the room or paddock! ;)

      Thanks for popping in. :)

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  8. He sure is a cutie Lee - and I think my favorite meal is pot roast. Can you believe I never eat of cook lamb!?

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    1. Hi Sandie. I love roast lamb!

      I can believe that you've never eaten roast lamb. From what I've gathered through the years is lamb is not as popular in the US as it is here in the Land of Oz. There is nothing quite like a roast leg of lamb, mint sauce, gravy and all the obligatory vegetables that go with it! Now I'm starving! lol

      Thanks for coming by. It's always great to hear from you. :)

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  9. I'm all in favour of trumpet blowing! In fact my daughter plays it rather well - which is good until she decides that 7am is the perfect time to practice!!

    The gulls in the UK are no less refined than ours - I think that guy was pretending to like sushi!

    Cheers - Stewart M - Melbourne

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    1. Ahhhh....that's good to know, Stewart! There's nothing worse than a refined seagull!!

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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    2. You've obviously never met a rude seagull Lee.

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    3. I've met my fair share, Graham...but I love them, anyway. :)

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  10. I can't blow anything, really!
    Knit and crochet I do, more crocheting than knitting. Mostly done whilst travelling.

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    1. I can blow my nose, whiteangel...and I can blow up a balloon if the need arises...and that's about it! :)

      Thanks for popping in. :)

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  11. I've never been able to blow those party favor things successfully. Either they do nothing, or I blow out the end and it just sounds like "phhhhfffftttt."

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    1. We'll just dance on the table together, RK...and have far more fun doing so! :)

      Thanks coming by. :)

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  12. I've never known someone with nothing to crow about crow about nothing so loudly!

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    1. I wrote this in silence, Adullamite...other than some music playing softly in the background.

      Thanks for popping in. :)

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  13. Haha. That was fun to read.
    Well, that is really something to boast about. Not everyone can do that.

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  14. Hey Lux! I'm glad you enjoyed it...it was meant to be justba bit of light-hearted fun. Thanks for coming by. :)

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  15. Don't feel bad -- I can't knit, crochet, or blow a trumpet, either. Alas, I'm also not much of a cook. I salivate over the pictures of your culinary creations, then go pop something sooo much less palatable in the microwave. Love, love, love your remembrances of the music, culture, and philosophical discussions "back in the day." Those truly were the days.

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    1. Hey Serena... our teenage years (in my era, anyway) back in the Sixties were wonderful. We didn't have to deal with all the "proverbial" that's around these days...we didn't need much assistance to have fun...we made our own...we were surrounded by fun things to do.

      I don't use a microwave...mine has been out the back collecting dust and cobwebs for years. I cook very simply these days...to chilled out to do otherwise! lol

      Thanks for coming by, Serena...it's great to have you back. :)

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  16. I don't think I would have the patience to knit - I admire you for doing it. And your effort sounds fun!

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    1. Hi Lynn....I only ever knitted two jumpers/sweaters in my life...and the second one, although it turned out better than the first took a couple of years for me to complete...I'd put it down and become involved in something far more interesting! lol

      Thanks for popping in. :)

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  17. I'm pretty sure that I've never tried to blow a real trumpet, or horn or any wind instrument in fact. I'm not sure that honesty would permit me to say that I've never blown a metaphorical one although if I have I don't think it would have been very loud because I've never done anything to blow loudly about.

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    1. G'day Graham...I tried to blow a saxophone once...and once I tried a double bass - the large low-pitched string instrument - I couldn't even get a sound out of that.

      And, no doubt, like you I've tried to blow a metaphorical trumpet at times, too...but like my double bass attempt each attempt was a failure...or huge cause for amusement!!

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  18. Crochet? Yes...Trumpet blowing...No...Hahaaa
    hughugs

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    1. Hi there Donna...You're one up on me, then! Perhaps I should try doing both at once! Multi-tasking gone crazy! lol

      Thanks for coming by. :)

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  19. Toot toot toot for Lee. I do not care for those who blow their own horn so I guess that is why I like you so much. Peace

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    1. Thank you, Miss Kitty! And thanks for popping in. :)

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