STRIKE ME PINK! IT’S BEAUT BEING AN AUSSIE!

The good old Aussie Lamingtons

Chocolate Bavarian Pie

(I preface this post, which is written in humour, with – This post is in honour of Australia Day, which annually falls on 26^th January.  I’m not one who wants to change the name of Australia Day, nor am I one of those who want to change the date of Australia Day.  I’m also not one who wants to change our Australian flag.  I’m happy with Australia Day the way it is; on the date that it is. I’m also happy with the Australian flag the way it is – I’m proud of our Aussie flag – I’m proud to be an Aussie. My opinions are my own – I won’t change them, either).

G’day!  

Fair dinkum - the heat is killing me! Strewth! I’m already knackered –zonked; stuffed - and January’s not yet over; neither is the tennis!

The Aussie Summer of Tennis began after Chrissie, on New Year’s Day, and doesn’t finish until this coming Sunday with the blokes’ singles’ final.   

Will I hack it until the end?   No worries!  She’ll be apples!  Of course I’ll hang in there until the last ball is hit!  I won’t pull the plug until it’s done up like a dog’s dinner.  Anyway, I’ve got a rip-snorter of a pozzie to watch it from.

Actually, my non-stop activity began before the tennis with the Edinburgh Military Tattoo. 

All that marching while blowing on bagpipes in between belting the whatsits out of the drums took the wind out of me sails. I tried to snare a kettle drum, but ended up with the bass drum!  Holy Dooley!  It weighed a ton!  I dropped it, just missing me big toe! The drum’s still rolling down the hill, headed for the Gold Coast!   That’s the drum!

Then I grabbed a trombone.  You may well laugh! You try blowing a trombone without whacking the head of the bloke in front of you!  He wanted to dob me in to the bandmaster, but I told him where to shove it...if you get my drift!

Finally I nicked the flamin’ cymbals, but that didn’t turn out well, either. I ended up with squashed fingers and thumbs. 

You think that’s funny, too?   Boy! You’re easily amused!

You can rubbish me to your heart’s content if that’s your bag.  I won’t chuck a wobbly, but you try marching in step while playing an instrument, while keeping an eye on the galah coming up the rear, as well as the boofheads in front and to the side of you!  

No bull!  Deadset! It’s hard; particularly when I’d not had any brekky, or a kip in the arvo! 

Gimme a break! Knowing I had a month of tennis ahead of me I had considered bailing out, but being the trouper that I am I decided to give it a burl, and I gave it a fair go, I reckon. 

I even tried to do the Highland Fling! Just quietly, between you and me, that didn’t turn out well, either.  I’m a hobbling train wreck. What with me bruised thumbs, sore lips, twisted ankles, wonky hips – I’m not worth a zack. (Either that or I’m not a full quid)!  Hold your horses! There’s no need for all that nodding!  There’re no flies on me...I know what you’re thinking!  I wrote the script!

Last year the bozo down the road told me he used to be a beefeater.  I thought he was yanking me chain and meant he used to wear one of those funny, sissy outfits while prowling around the Tower of London, and stalking Queen Liz on the side.

I’d always thought he was from Whoop Whoop. But then, I woke up to meself, and was gobsmacked at me own stupidity. 

What a dingbat I was!  What a galah!   

No dramas, though...it happens to us all at one time or the other...doesn’t it? You know!  It was one of those old brainfade moment - we all have them, you know!

The bloke meant he ate beef!

With all the flamin’ earbashing that goes on these days about what we should eat and what we shouldn’t eat (it changes from day to day, depending on which way the wind blows); what’s going to kill us and what’s not going to kill us; what’s going to grow hairs on our chest, or what’s going to give us a spare tyre (I could use a couple of spares for my car), I decided the “experts” could put a sock in it. They could pull their heads in and rack off. 

It’s their way - all the contradictions, fuss and noise – the telling us what to do and what not to do - of an making moolah.   

They change their tunes so often you’re flat out keeping up with them.  It’s a wonder Sony Music hasn’t signed them up!

One day “this” is good for you; and the next it’s not; and then “that’s” bad for you, and then, blow me down, it’s the best thing since sliced bread!  Sometimes the “experts” make me as angry as a cut snake!

Rafferty rules abound – they’re out of control!

No wonder so many people are going around shaking their heads; it’s not from denial, but from confusion. 

I tell no porky when I say a beef eater I shall remain with no outfit necessary, particularly in this heat. 

Like with everything, I eat red meat in moderation.  I don’t eat it every day; I don’t have it for chow every week. Sometimes it’s even longer between serves.  But when I feel like having a steak or similar, I will and I do.  I don’t need anyone to tell me whether I should or should not!

When I feel like chomping on chicken or seafood, I do that, too.  And if I feel like eating vegetables only....defiantly, I do that, also   I don’t eat a lot of processed foods; nor do I eat take-away food.  

Unless, of course, if you take into account the other day when I made some sangers for myself and took them outside to eat.

Hey!  I’m not bonkers, you know! I don’t need to constantly have the ever-changing food/diet info shoved down my throat all the damn time.

Fair suck of the sav! If I want to be a nutty fruit loop and eat only fresh fruit and raw nuts on any given day, that’s my choice!  If, on another day, I want to be an old cow and just drink lots of milk, eat butter, loads of cheese and ice cream, I will!  

If I want to chomp on a meat pie, or perhaps some chocolate, dark, of course, I’ll do that, too.  God help me if I feel like munching on a freshly-made, dipped in chocolate, desiccated coconut-coated delicious lamington or two!   Off to the Naughty Corner with me!

  

If I want to eat meat, fish, lentils, rice and vegetables (all together or separately)...I will.  It’s my choice.

Oh! Stop me now!  But not before I allow the thought of caramelised bananas drizzled with maple syrup flood my mind!  After all, I didn’t have to apply for a job as a banana bender...I was born into it! It came naturally!

I’m not allergic to anything...other than some humans, that is!

For Chrissie lunch I broke from tradition.  I’m allowed to do that.  I asked myself if I could, and I said “Yes, of course, you can!”

My lunch was a Bobby Dazzler.  

I dined on the best beef fillet I’ve had in yonks; bought from our own North Tambo Butchery. 

Crikey! It cost me an arm and a leg.  I almost choked when told the price as the butcher handed it over to me when I picked it up on Chrissie Eve; but I hid my surprise, and with a smile, I said, “Righty-o!” as I paid for it.  I couldn’t very well complain because I had placed the order a couple of weeks before.

However, I kid you not - it was worth every cent – and dollar! Too right, it was!  

It was so tender and juicy I almost didn’t need to put my teeth in!  

Grilled to medium-rare, I accompanied the 1-1/2 inch thick steaks (being a guts I had two pieces...it was Chrissie lunch, after all) with spiced potato wedges (regular potatoes and kumara/sweet spuds), steamed greens and a rich, red wine sauce laden with mushies, it was a meal to dream about.  No bull!  

In keeping with the non-traditional, I had a yummy Chocolate Bavarian Pie to top it off...the lunch, not the steak, silly!  

It sure was good tucker –  grouse dinnies!  

If I go missing over the next couple of days, it’ll be because I’m on the lamb!

Hooroo!  I’m off like a prawn in the midday sun.  

Me and me cobber down the road are gunna sink a few tinnies while we shoot the breeze.

Happy Straya Day!

Australia Day Lamb Chops: On cutting board, “mush” together, using side of knife, 1 large minced garlic clove and 1/4tsp salt to make a paste. Add 1/2c pitted green olives, 1/4c sun-dried tomatoes, 1tsp drained capers and zest of half lemon to the board; chop roughly; not too fine. Rub 6 lamb cutlets/chops with 2tbs olive oil; season. Mix together 2tbs honey and 1/2tbs chopped parsley. Heat bbq plate or grill pan on high heat. Sear chops/cutlets, 3-4mins per side. When they come off the grill, brush on both sides with honey mix; rest lamb.  Put 2 handfuls of rocket in large bowl; squeeze half lemon over top; add 1tsp olive oil; season; toss to combine. Leave the tapenade on cutting board; place cutlets neatly on top; place rocket salad on the side.  Save washing up – it’s on board to eat off the board!

Waltzing Matilda Lamb: Trim 1kg whole lamb rumps. Cut into wedges 1 red capsicums, 1kg Jap pumpkin and 2 red onions; toss wedges with 2tbs olive oil; place on lined baking tray; cook 25mins or until golden; add 250g Haloumi, cut into 2cm pieces; drizzle with balsamic vinegar; bake further 15mins or until cheese is golden. Rub lamb with olive oil; cook 2mins on both sides, until browned; rub browned lamb with chopped rosemary leaves; put into roast pan; cook in 180C oven 15-10mins or until cooked to your liking; then rest lamb 10 mins. Slice lamb; serve with the roasted vegetables/haloumi and a green salad; drizzle with a balsamic reduction.  

Balsamic Reduction No.1 - In a small saucepan, bring the 1 cup of quality balsamic vinegar (or the whole bottle – contents only, of course!) to a boil over medium heat, then bring the heat down to low and allow it to simmer until it reduces by half. The longer you let it go, the thicker it will get; the choice is yours. Allow it to cool.   

Balsamic Reduction No. 2 - -whatever amount of vinegar you decide to reduce, you will end up with about less than a quarter of the original amount in syrup. Pour the balsamic into saucepan; heat pan to high. Whisk briskly. Once it starts boiling, keep whisking constantly to prevent burning. The vinegar naturally sweetens when reduced, but you can sprinkle in a little sugar, if you like, to taste.  Reduce half, or until vinegar takes on a syrupy consistency.  Be very careful it doesn’t burn.

Perfect Australia Day Steak: Preheat char grill to med-high. Coarsely crush, 2tbs whole black peppercorns, 2tbs dried green peppercorns and 1tbs Szechuan peppercorns. Transfer to a plate. Lightly brush each side of 4x200g trimmed sirloin steaks with lightly egg white of one egg; press into peppercorn mixture to coat; season and set aside.  Toss 8 sliced portobello mushrooms in minced garlic, or rub with 1 halved garlic clove; place in bowl; toss with 2tbs ex-virgin olive oil; season; Char-grill, 2-3mins each side until charred; set aside to cool.  Grill steaks, 6-8mins,turning once for medium-rare; rest, loosely covered with foil for 5mins. Meanwhile, toss mushrooms, 4 shredded spring onkons and 200g fresh, baby spinach leaves together.  Whisk together 1tsp Dijon mustard, 1tbs balsamic vinegar and 2tbs ex-virgin olive oil; season, then toss with the salad. To serve - divide steaks and salad among 4 plates.

Aussie Day Vegie Burgers: Mash 1x400g rinsed, drained chickpeas and 1x400g rinsed, drained cannellini beans in a bowl using a fork. Stir in juice of half a lemon, 1tsp ground cumin and 2tspn soy sauce, then add 1 finely chopped onion, 3 crushed garlic cloves, 1 finely grated carrot, 1/3c black sesame seeds,1/3c crushed roasted peanuts, 2tbs chopped, flat-leaf parsley, 1tbs finely chopped mint leaves and 1c sourdough breadcrumbs. Season and combine well, then shape mixture into 6 patties. Transfer to a lined baking tray, cover and chill for 30 minutes to firm up. Meanwhile combine 1c thick Greek yoghurt, 1/2tsp wasabi paste (or to taste) and juice of half a lemon. Taste – add more wasabi, if desired; season. Heat 2cm oil in large pan over med-heat. In 2 batches, cook patties for 2-3mins each side until golden and warmed through; drain on paper towel.  Cut in half 6 wholemeal burger buns; toast each half.  Fill buns with lettuce, patties, tomato slices, Swiss cheese slices...whatever your heart desires, and taste dictates!

Aussie Tim Tam Brownies: Preheat oven 160C degree; line a rectangular pan with baking paper. Combine 1c plain flour,  3/4c cocoa, 1c brown sugar and 1tsp baking powder. Mix well. Melt 180g butter and 200g dark chocolate; pour into dry mix with 3 beaten eggs; mix until smooth. Dab about 4 heaped tablespoons of the batter onto base of the pan; smooth out. Lay entire packet of dark-choc Tim Tams over base.  Top with remaining batter; smooth over, hiding the Tim Tams; bake 30-35mins; when cool, slice into blocks; dust with cocoa powder.