JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I’D HEARD IT ALL!

To clear up any misunderstanding, - please note I said, in black and white - “just when I THOUGHT I’d heard it all”...not “just when I knew I knew it all”. 

Every day it becomes even more clearly obvious to me I’ve not heard it all.  I certainly don’t know it all – if, in fact, I know anything at all. 

My education is sadly lacking, this much I do know because all the well-educated researchers eagerly tell me so every day.   And, seeing they’re so “well-educated”, I have to believe what they say....they keep telling me they know best...and everything.

I wonder if I should become a mature-age student.  I suppose I’d have to be mature first before I’d be allowed to set my toes, let alone feet, into the hallowed halls and rooms of higher education.  If that’s the case, I don’t stand a chance. I’d not be allowed near the front gates, let alone the hallways or rooms.  I doubt there is a university in this country that would accept me.  I’ve far too much to learn. They just don’t have the spare time to accommodate me. 

Perhaps home-schooling is my best, and only, bet. 

I spat the dummy the other day when I read these headlines:-

Quote:-  “Study:  Describing Breastfeeding as ‘Natural’ Is Unethical Because It Reinforces Gender Roles...”  And then the content continues – “It’s ‘ethically inappropriate’ for government and medical organizations to describe breastfeeding as ‘natural’ because the term enforces rigid notions about gender roles, claims a new study. Coupling nature with motherhood… can inadvertently support biologically deterministic arguments about the roles of men and women in the family (for example, that women should be the primary caretaker,” the study says.”    End Quote

You’ve got to be kidding me!  It probably took five years of university study for someone to come up with this little beauty!

Okay! You men out there – take heed!  

You’d better start getting your act and D-cups together.  I also read somewhere there are tablets on the market called “Natural Curves”, as well as “”Natural Treasures”.   

And I’ve read herbs such as fenugreek, wild yam, fennel, red clover and pueraria mirifica (it’s nature’s answer, apparently) do the trick, too.   So, it’s time for you blokes to get stuck into the herbs and the above supplements!  You may be called upon to step up and do your duty!

On the same day I read the above nonsense re breast-feeding, I also read that reading bedtime stories to your children should cease and desist – pronto! 

The article written by some brainy researcher informed us uneducated mere mortals that reading stories to your kids gives them an unfair advantage over the kids next door, or those down the road, or across the way, who probably aren’t being read bedtime stories! 

The dimwits who come up with these outrageous deductions are the ones spinning bedtime stories, in my opinion.  After reading all that driveling hokum I was totally exhausted. I was the one who needed a dose of vitamins!  (I don’t take vitamin supplements of any kind...relying on foods/vitamins of the natural kind)!

Worse still, in the same week the above bombshells were dropped, a NSW government town crier heralded a decree loudly and clearly, proclaiming a war had been declared on butter and Vegemite, among other things, being served in school canteens. 

Poor old Vegemite sure gets a kicking from pillar to post and back again.  It’s a pretty sore and unhappy little Vegemite these days after learning it’s being slammed by those spreading the venomous denunciations around the place.  

And it’s a pie-in-the-face moment that the reputation of the good old Aussie favourite, the hearty meat pie, is being denigrated, as well. 

Why, oh, why do “they” defame Vegemite and the pie?

I refuse to give up either, any time soon...or later!  So there!  Stick that in your pipes and smoke it, researchers!   

"Experts”....drips under pressure!

I guess the only chance I have is to mature; only then will I become a mature-age student able to study the reasons behind all this gibberish. 

However, even at the end of my many years of study I won’t have heard it all - no matter what I think I think or think I know!

Vegemite Muffins: Combine 1-1/3c plain flour, 1c wholemeal flour, 1tsp bicarb soda, 1tsp mustard powder, pinch of salt and 1/2c grated tasty cheese. Whisk together 3/4c milk and 1/3c sour cream; stir into flour to form dough. Knead gently on floured surface before lightly rolling out to a 20x25cm rectangle; spread with 1tbs Vegemite; roll up from long side. Cut into pinwheels; place, cut side up into12x1/3c capacity greased muffin pan. Sprinkle with extra cheese; bake in 200C oven, 15-20mins. 

Mighty Meat Pie: Combine 1kg chuck steak, cut into 3cm cubes, 660ml dark ale or 500ml Guinness, ½ bunch thyme, 6 garlic cloves, halved, 1tsp black peppercorns and 1 large onion, chopped. Marinate overnight, if possible.  Drain beef; reserve liquid. Pat beef dry; dredge in 1c seasoned flour; the fry in small batches until brown; set aside. Stir 1tbs Vegemite through reserved marinade; add this to casserole dish with seared beef. Cook gently over low heat or in 150C oven, approx 3hrs. Season to taste; cool. Grease pie dish with butter. Roll out 500g puff pastry; cut into 2 discs; one large enough to line dish; other for lid. Fill with the beef mixture; brush edges with beaten egg yolk. Crumble 100g Stilton or blue cheese (or cheddar) over filling; put lid over top; seal with firm crimps. Brush lid with the egg; cook in 180C oven, 45-60mins. Served with steamed greens and mashed spuds.

Chocolate Fudge with Vegemite Caramel: Line 13x22cm loaf tin with baking paper. Melt 180g condensed milk with 200g dark choc chips. Spread evenly into loaf tin; put in freezer for about 30mins. Make caramel – place 100g condensed milk, 1tbs golden syrup, 2tbs caster sugar, 1tbs butter and ¼ to 1/2tsp Vegemite into small saucepan; bring to boil over med-heat; stir often. Reduce heat to low; simmer 5mins, stirring regularly. Check balance between too soft and too chewy by putting a small drop on cool plate. Scrape caramel into a bowl; cool about 5mins; then spread onto choc mixture. Return to freezer for about 10mins. Then melt 120g condensed milk and 100g dark choc chips; spread over caramel. Put in freezer for 45mins; the cut into small squares.  Store in fridge.