LET’S GET REAL....LET’S PUT THE BRAKES ON THE FAKES....

These days there’s too much artificiality around... for my liking, anyway; not that what I like or dislike counts for much.  But, it’s good to shoot the breeze...to air one’s thoughts.,,to chew the fat; wobble the jaw.... to wander and ponder ....

Not only are we continually being fed fake news, those who believe they control us by controlling our shopping and eating habits are continually trying to force us to fill our supermarket trolleys with fake milk, fake butter, artificial sweeteners, artificial ice cream, etc., etc., et al.   The list goes on ad infinitum. 

Synthetic, manufactured, unnatural additives and flavours full of suspect chemicals worthy of in-depth investigation and banishment hold a permanent, disturbing role in food products.  The tiny print on packaging doesn’t enlighten the consumer.  You need a brain similar to that of Albert Einstein or Stephen Hawking to understand the gobbledygook, even if the print was legible.    

Perhaps, artificial intelligence could be useful in helping us “normal” folk decipher the abnormal information given.   (In some instances, not many, I admit...I could be classed as “normal” - that could be debatable, I know)!

French chemist, Michel Eugène Chevreul who created margarine in 1813 was lucky he dodged the guillotine.   

My head would’ve been on the chopping block if I ever dared use margarine when I cooked in restaurants.  Butter only – butter is better! 

I’ve never used margarine at home, either, and not because I’m scared of the chopping block.  It’s what’s in the product that scares me.  The only thing margarine is good for is greasing the guillotine!

In the late 1700s, shouting loudly in an over-zealous, unladylike manner for all of France to hear, Marie Antoinette bellowed; – “Let them eat cake!” 

The heartless woman’s frustrated exclamation lacked empathy.  However, the peasants, although poor, had discerning tastes.  If margarine had been used in making of the cake they would have politely declined, “Non! Non! Ma Reine!”

The famines engulfing France at the time caused a shortage of brioche – the delicious bread made with butter and eggs.  The thought of using margarine in the making of brioche is a thought too far even for my wild imagination.

Using the words from the Castrol motor oil commercial/advertisement from almost forty years ago - “Oils ain’t oils” - unless, of course, it’s olive oil; particularly Aussie olive oils - Oz is best.

Thinking about it, eons ago when I was a kid almost everything we ate was close enough to being organic.   Processed food wasn’t prevalent like it is now.

We were healthy; had no allergies; rarely got colds. We thought the “flu” with an “e” (we knew how to spell correctly) was part of a chimney – something that let out the hot air.   

There is so much hot air floating these days.

Mark a product “organic” or “gluten-free”, and it’s open slather to jack up the prices....akin to the keys to the kingdom....

What also takes the cake is the desire for artificial boobs, butts, lips, foreheads, chins, necks and fake tans. 

Taut, immoveable, smooth faces like Barbie and Ken are taking over the world! 

I go into shock each time I see photos of “Cat Woman” aka Jocelyn Wildenstein.  To call her “Cat Woman” is an insult to cats. 

Not within a cat’s whisker do my two felines look like her - thank goodness! Remy and Shama look good without having gone under the knife (except for reproduction reasons).  Face cream has never touched their plump cheeks. Often they each look like the cat that ate the cream, though...very smug, indeed!

For the record...I intend growing old disgracefully...a feat I’ve so far achieved with great success; and the natural process shall be allowed to continue, unhampered, not pampered.  No knives or needles filled with fillers, Botox or other similar artificial crap are allowed to come within cooee of me!  

Let’s face it...I wouldn’t trust anyone coming at my face with a knife or needle in their hands!  Accept me as I am and how I look...if not...bye, bye!

I’m intrigued how the Kardashian clan, Nicki Minaj and others similarly afflicted, with their highly-pronounced butt implants, manage to sit down without rolling off the chair. 

It’d be like sitting on a balloon...wouldn’t it?  Oops!

Brioche Loaves:  In small bowl, add 1pkt active dry yeast, ½ warm water and 1/3^rd cup sugar; mix to dissolve. Set aside 5mins or until bubbles form and it becomes foamy. Put in mixer bowl; add 6 room-temp eggs; with paddle attachment, mix on medium speed, 3mins.  Decrease speed to low; add 2tsp salt; then add, 1.2 cup at a time, 4-1/2c bread flour. Stop mixer as needed to scrape bowl and paddle; mix until combined. Continue at low speed; add 1-1/4c unsalted, very soft butter, 2tbs at a time. Continue process. When dough is combined and formed, transfer to floured bowl; cover; place in warm place to rise 3-4hrs. Remove from bowl; knead on floured surface, 1-2mins; transfer to greased bowl. Cover with plastic wrap; chill overnight. Next day, split dough in half. Place each half in 2 greased bread pans. Cover with warm tea towel; allow to rise again, to about double the size, 3-5hrs. When dough has risen to near the top of bread pan - bake in preheated 190C oven, 45mins until crust is golden brown and springs back to the touch.

Scallops in Herb Butter: Heat 1tbs oil in large skillet over med-high heat. Season 500g sea scallops with salt and pepper; cook until deep golden brown on 1 side, about 3mins. Turn scallops; add 2tbs butter and 4 sprigs of herbs (tarragon, lemon thyme or sage) to pan. Continue cooking, spooning butter over scallops often, until scallops are cooked through and butter is brown and smells nutty, about 3mins longer. Add 2tsp lemon juice. Serve scallops with brown butter pan sauce.

Worcestershire Butter Rump: Cream 1/3c butter, 3 minced garlic cloves, 1-1/2tbs Worcestershire Sauce, 1tsp thyme, salt, pepper and 1tbs English mustard. Pat this all over 2kg whole rump roast. Cover; chill up to 24hrs. Let stand, 60-90mins before placing on rack in pan; roast uncovered, in preheated 218C oven, 20mins. Reduce heat to 190C; roast, uncovered, 1hr or until desired doneness. Baste during roasting. Let sit 20-30mins before carving. 

Chicken Breasts with Spinach-Butter-White Wine Sauce: Season 2 large chicken breasts with the paprika, rubbing it evenly over both sides; then season with salt and pepper — about 1/4 tsp each. Melt 1tbsp butter in a large skillet over med-high heat; add the chicken breasts. Cook on the first side for three minutes (or until crisping and golden); flip; turn the heat down to medium, or slightly less. Let cook for another 3mins before adding 4tbs butter, 1/4c fresh thyme leaves and 3 crushed garlic cloves. Cook, stirring the thyme and garlic around, for about 2mins before adding 1c dry white wine. Bring wine to a gentle simmer; let cook for 20mins. It will reduce, so add more, if necessary. Add 2 handfuls spinach, and let wilt fully. Season; make sure the chicken is done, serve with a grain of your choice; or pasta.