Friday, July 27, 2007

Into An Abyss

Love Lost with Dignity

In the deep of night like the ancient call of the dingo

My heart howls in the darkness I weep despairingly

Wondering why my precious love you chose to forego

Tenacious images of you tease my mind persistently

Times past, times to come and today a lonely journey

Forever seeking with hopeful breaths of expectation

Through the frenzy of life blindfolded by melancholy

I exist in an artificial world surrounded by frustration

No longer do I love you as I once did yesterday’s gone

Hours of tears hurt pain greet the light of a new dawn

Another day my love deepens in irrational capitulation

In the game lovers play I am but an incompetent pawn

.....Sketch and poem by Lee...

How shall I begin? I've been "missing in action" the past couple of days. Real life raised its ugly head and I pulled mine in!

After going out for a couple of hours this morning, I came home and started working on a new painting, but first I had to clear up the mess around my paint table and easels. It's so long, it seems, since I've picked up my paint brushes. The time has come to become lost in the world of acrylics, brushes and canvases again. I'm a bit disgruntled as the painting I had been working on (incomplete) is destroyed! Not by me, although I feel cranky enough about it to destroy it! I'm not sure if I can save it, which is unfortunate as it was coming along well. Somehow, mildew decided to make a home on the canvas. Instead of the interesting scene that was unfolding in shades of mauve, lavender and purple, amongst other hues, black spots and stripes have taken over! I'm not sure if I can salvage the painting, but when my mood suits, I will give it a try. Failing success, I probably will have to 'gesso' over the whole thing and start again. I'm afraid I have little patience when things go wrong like that, so I'll probably put it aside for that "rainy day". The way the drought is going here, that could be forever!

I was talking with a guy when I was out this morning (not so strange!). I have no idea who he is but he was 'manning' one of the Landcare stalls at a "Tamborine Mountain Landcare Community Awareness Day". I asked him why he didn't have brochures on Hinchinbrook Island as he had brochures on just about everywhere else in his display. I was interested in his reply...."Hinchinbrook Island is a 'she'".....

I smiled at him, telling him I had once lived on the island and agreed that that could be true, and I related an experience or two that I had had.

I've never liked Fraser Island, having spent a fair deal of time on Fraser when I was living at Noosa. Without fail, every time I stayed on Fraser Island (and we never "roughed" it as an aunty lived there at Happy Valley...she had a three-bedroom house, billiard room and all the mod cons), my personality changed. It was as if a dark, looming threatening
cloud descended over me. I couldn't wait to leave Fraser Island, eventually foregoing any further visits there. Once I arrived back to the Double Island Point/Coloured Sands part of the coast heading back to Noosa, the dark cloud lifted and disappeared. Everything was bright and breezy once again. Strange, weird, I know but that's how it was.

The moment I set eyes on Hinchinbrook Island and stepped ashore, a wide smile broke across my face. I felt I had arrived "home". I experienced the same feeling when I first saw Newry Island and ran up the beach after alighting from the boat.

This guy this morning understood what I told him. He said Fraser Island was a "he". An Aboriginal thing apparently. He loves Fraser Island, as did my ex-husband.

When I first arrived on Hinchinbrook Island I was told that there was a "spirit" on the island, that some strange things had occurred in the past. My answer to that at the time was, "No problems! It is a "she" and now that I am here, those things won't happen again. "She" is happy I am here and will know that everything will be all right." And it was, no unexplained events occurred during the duration of my time on the island...other than certain behaviour by humans!

I can't explain "it", but the conversation this morning I had with the stranger, who understood what I was saying, made me, and to him. It was interesting.

Another area that gives me the creeps is "Funnel Creek", between Miriamvale and Rockhampton, on the old highway. It gives me the strangest of feelings, and the times I've been there, I couldn't leave the place quickly enough.

Starting off this post, I thought I had nothing to write about. It would appear I've proven that idea to be wrong!


  1. Anonymous12:36 AM

    Nicer poem. Strange thngs happen at certain places. I had a strange feeling when I visited Flossenburg. Too many dead there.

  2. Hi Lee, it could be just a guy thing but I love Fraser Island, mind you its nearly 20 years since I've been there now but I have nothing but very pleasant memories of it.
    Never been to Hinchinbrook. so no feelings either way.

  3. Hello Steve and Peter...different places affect different people in different, sometimes strange way. Ways that can't be explained.

  4. Hi Lee ~~ I hope you are feeling brighter ans not too forlorn. I
    reckon rehashing this story of yours is making you melancholy. I hope that I am wrong. Maybe the painting will inspire you again. Thanks for your comments - I know what it's like to get behind with them and reading.
    Take great care Lee, Love, Merle.

  5. I'm fine and fiddly-dandy thanks, Merle. :)

    And no, telling my "Reaching Out To The City Lights" is definitely not making me forlorn...the reverse, actually. ;)

  6. Great poem and drawing. If the paint, easel, and all the other things draw you to the room, great, but please don't forget to peek your writing fingers out and onto your computer every now and then for us to read your stories and view your recipes. There are people in other places that do think about you and care for you. :)

  7. Thanks Sandra...nice to hear from you as always. I'll be around about the place...still tinkling on the can't get rid of me that easily! ;)

  8. Lee, there are a few places that I have been that I felt in tune with.

    The seashore and sea Islands come to mind. If I had Bill gates money, I would sell Microsoft and buy a Tropical Island, build a hurricane/typhoon proof home, and be blissfully happy the rest of my life.

    I had to settle for the next best, My land and cabin. I do feel quite in tune with my jungle and critters, including the many birds around here. I am lucky that Stormy has fallen in love with this country living. It is her refuge when things get hard in her career.

    In 1990, we climbed Ayers Rock. That was one place that gave me the shivers, as if the place had a bunch of spirits dashing about. A very eerie feeling that I have never forgotten.

    I also felt it at the Pearl Harbor Memmorial, Hawaii.

  9. Hi Lee,
    I love the sketch and the poem too. I have never experienced the feelings you are talking about but I certainly can believe that you had them.
    Isn't it funny how posts take on a life of there own sometimes.

  10. Hi Marc...I understand what you're saying. There are places that give out that eerie vibe...and those that have done that to me, I now stay away from. Those feelings are definitely real...there is no doubt about that. I can easily understand Ayers Rock aka Uluru would have those vibes.

    I can also understand you loving the cabin and area in which you and Stormy live. I love my privacy here in my cabin as well...and if I could, or better, if I could afford it, I would find a place even more private! lol You're lucky you have a good lady to share your "space" with. I'm yet to find that special good man...but I've not given up up. He is out there somewhere...I'll find him, if he doesn't find me first! ;)

  11. I can understand you feeling that way over a place, Lee. It's happened to me ever since I was a kid. Certain places gave me the screaming heebies...literally! Usually it's because of some dark chapter from the past in the history of the place.

    Interesting that gender is applied to Fraser and Hinchinbrook. But I guess it makes sense, since it's a spirit thing.

    Take care

  12. Hi jmb and both snuck in there without my noticing.

    As Paul Kelly wrote and sings..."from small things, big things grow". Sorry, may not be familiar with Paul Kelly. He is a well-known singer/songwriter here in Aus. Writes great words, too. :)

  13. Hi Lee.
    'He's' back to see what 'she's' writing about. Getting the creeps happens to me when Hillary speaks.
    Sorry about your painting. Waiting for a 'rainy' day won't help with the mildew problem. I suppose bleach is not an option if you want paint left on the canvas. I have a burn pit, bring it over.
    I loved the sketch and again I say I'd love to be able to do that. Now I'm off to read the rest I've missed on your blog.

  14. lee,
    First, sorry to have been absent for too long. Happy to be greeted by one of your wonderful drawings upon my return, with the bonus of a beautiful poem of love's emotion.
    I'm glad that your going back to easel...I think it's something that engages and uplifts you!
    I've been many places and can say nowhere did I ever feel eerie or under a dark cloud, but the feeling you described for when you arrived on Hinchinbrook Island is the same feeling I have every time I go to France. The first time , 3 years ago...I looked out the plane window and tears welled up in my eyes and in mumbled to my wife...."I'm home."

  15. Knowing that you are now not married I keep reading the story of your life hoping you don't get together with someone and then get hurt again. Does this make any sense?
    I've read your entire writings posted during my trip. There are so many things worthy of commenting on but alas, time and a memory that is on 'scan', precludes my being able to get to every point. I agree with your assessements on life in general and what we need to do before our demise.
    I also noted the pastry that sure does look like it had a bats head roasted to perfection on top.
    Not to worry. I'll eventually be normal again. At least that's what they tell me.

  16. Cliff! Glad you're back! I've missed you and your totally irreverent sense of humour, which I adore! You always make me smile and laugh...and that is a good thing. :)

    Rel, good to see you, too. You disappeared off the radar for a while too...I understand that, as I've done it myself. :) Thanks for your comments...both of you. :)

  17. First of all, lovely poem and sketch. I'm glad you are painting again, even if you do leave the one you'd been working on before. It's odd how sometimes a stranger can understand us, isn't it? And I can understand how you relate to place.

  18. Lee darlin I wanted to email you in the last couple of days but found I had no way to do so - NOR do I presume you share an email address with just anyone who asks for it.

    That being said if any exception might be made upon this request you could shoot me a blank one with OZ or some other 'down under' reference in the subject line so I won't inadvertently delete. Mine is texaskatfish

  19. Hi Lee

    I liked your poem and sketch.

    Your post reminds me of our visit to what we thought was as deserted island, just off Abiang in the region once known as the Gilbert islands know known as Kiribiti.(pronounced K~i~r~i~bus)
    We discovered on landing the few inhabitants were extremely upset we had not introduced ourselves to the spirit of the Island by traversing it from one end to another, as was their custom.

    My Uncle used to spend weeks at a time on Fraser Island with the family, in the days when there was very little habitation, and excellent fishing.
    Best wishes

  20. Hi there Welsh...nice to see you. I think you know where I'm coming from. :)

    Hey on it's way to you....keep an eye out for it! ;)

    Nice to see you in here...please, don't be a stranger. :)

  21. Hello Lindsay...I don't know what it is between me and Fraser Island. I know thousands of people love it, but not me. I used to go there you say, the fishing was excellent but I could catch just as many at the mouth of the Maroochy River, oceanside, or along the sandy stretches of Double Island Point/Teewah. Fraser just gave me the creeps,so I decided to stop going there. Funny how some places can do strange things to a person.

  22. I've had bad "vibes" about a few places too Lee. I have steered clear of them. One was Nogales, Mexico. I went there once and was creeped out like I have never been even though nothing happened. I refused to go back to Mexico thereafter. I also always felt I would die in New Orleans so I refused to go. This was before the levee break. Another time I was going by this park and I felt some very strange and overwhelming danger. I ran for all I was worth.

  23. Hi Lee.....when I think of Africa, the soles of my feet burn - literally. Is that in the same realm as what you are talking about?! I also sense things when I go to different places .....Sure makes life interesting!

  24. G'day Corn Dog and Rebecca...I'm glad I'm not alone in these feelings. It's like some houses...some are welcoming and some are not...I'm not talking about people's homes...houses...

  25. wonderful drawing and poem, you really have such great talent. I'm so jealous!

  26. Hey, Lee ... I just love your sketch and your poem ... you write well. Strange about your feelings of Fraser Island ... I haven't been there myself, yet, but know that is on our list of to-do places!
    Hope you are doing OK, and having a great week.
    Take care, Meow