TIDBITS...BITS & PIECES TO CHEW ON....

For the fun of it, the other day, rather than walking along the aisles of IGA, our local supermarket, talking out loud to myself...something I do often, by the way; it triggers raised eyebrows and strange looks....I took one of my TV remote controls with me.  Holding the remote to my ear, I proceeded to talk into it as if it were a mobile phone.  Nobody knew the difference.  I laughed and spoke loudly during my chirpy one-way conversation.  After all, I had the floor with no one at the other end butting in, interrupting me.  On a roll, I kept my conversation upbeat and interesting for my eavesdropping fellow-shoppers; particularly the part about where I’d stashed the loot, and buried the bodies.

Last week I cracked up during a phone conversation with a Gympie friend...via landline.  She and I have known each other since we were both young, having living across the street from each other during our childhood and teenage years. Our friendship began when I was a wee little girl of three and a half years, and she was eight.  The difference in our ages, for some strange reason, never ever made a difference, even in the early stages...at the beginning...of our life-long friendship.  We are each other's "Forever Friend".

As my friend and I always manage to do with no difficulty, we chatted at length, but one of her tales took me by surprise, causing me to laugh my head off.   In case you're wondering, I caught said head before it rolled out the door.

It took me a while to regain control.  Her story is the best I’ve heard in ages.  We covered many topics; shared much laughter, as well as important, heartfelt memories; and then, when I least expected it, she hit the jackpot!  

Somehow the subject of boring people entered our enjoyable chat.  My unbridled laughter erupted when she related a true story about a phone conversation she’d had earlier in the year with an acquaintance who resides in Victoria.  It was a one-way conversation because the person on the other end of the line didn’t pause to take a breath, or to allow my friend to get a word in.  

Unintentionally, my friend drifted off to sleep as the person on the other end of the line, in her monotone voice, boringly droned on and on, ad infinitum.  My mate woke up with a jolt, not knowing how long she’d been asleep. 

“Beep! Beep! Beep....” issued forth from her phone. To her relief, she’s not heard from that person again. 

There’s only so much boredom a person can handle in one sitting.  Nudge! Nudge!  Wake up!  Don’t drift off!  I’m not finished yet!

This one takes the cake!  My education is sorely lacking, I admit.  I didn’t go on to tertiary level, having left my childhood behind in the early stages of secondary school to become a legal secretary.   

Tsk! Tsk!  It’s too late now, I suppose, for me to become a mature-age student.  No doubt, the main requirement is...one has to be mature.  On that point alone, I’d fail. So be it! 

The other day I read a newspaper article about Christmas hams, pork etc., and the safe storage of leftovers – of what to do.  A self-professed nutritionist and dietician/dietitian – a specialist in dietetics - who shall remain nameless for obvious reasons...not only for her protection, but my own...utilised her well-educated, learned wisdom when she advised: “Freeze your sliced ham or turkey in your freezer.” 

Where else, I ask, in my uneducated ignorance, would you freeze your leftover ham or turkey, if not in the freezer...perhaps in the oven, or in a kitchen cupboard?

No wonder mine goes off so quickly.  I’ve been keeping my leftover ham, turkey, chicken, pork, etc., in the oven. I store containers of excess homemade Bolognese sauce, soups, and stews in a cupboard for future use.

As for my Connoisseur ice creams, they melt in a moment...which is my excuse for eating them all in one go.

Now I have the answer to why my freezer is always empty!  I’ll put a sign on my freezer – instructions how to use it...what I should put in it.

  

Oh! Woe is me!  Obviously, my ignorance has no limits!

Wonders will never cease....

Cheese & Spinach Rolls:  Trim off large stems of 1 bunch spinach. Rinse leaves well; place in saucepan over medium heat, cook until leaves are wilted. Remove from heat; drain spinach, cool slightly; press firmly to remove excess liquid. Chop finely. Add 1 large, finely chopped onion to a heated, greased frypan; stir until onion is soft. Stir in chopped spinach; cook until liquid has evaporated. Add 250g ricotta. Continue stirring over heat until spinach and ricotta are combined.  Transfer to bowl; cool slightly. Stir in 1/c grated parmesan; season with salt and pepper.  Using 3 sheets of partially thawed puff pastry, cuts sheets in half.  Spoon 1/2c spinach mixture along one long edge of pastry strip. Brush other long edge of pastry with beaten egg.  Roll up to enclose filling, and form rolls.  Place rolls seam-side down on clean bench or chopping board; brush tops with beaten egg; sprinkle with a little extra grated parmesan cheese, if desired.  Cut each roll diagonally into 4 pieces.  Place on greased baking tray; bake, 20-25mins in 200C oven, until golden.

Cranberry Glazed Ham & Pears: Cover leg of ham with foil; roast at 170C, 2 to 2-1/2hrs, until tender.  Sauce: heat 1tsp oil over a med-heat; add 1 finely chopped shallot, cook 3mins to soften; season; stir in 3tbs balsamic and 200ml port. Simmer 10mins until reduced by a third; add 100g cranberry sauce. Simmer 5mins; then set aside. Preheat oven 190°C.  Drain ham; cool 10mins; slice off rind and most of the fat, leaving behind 1cm layer. Score a cross-hatch diamond pattern into fat; put in a roasting pan with 3 halved pears.  Glaze; blitz 100g cranberry sauce and 3tbs brown sugar to puree; mix with 1tbs wholegrain mustard; brush all over ham and pears. Press whole cloves into scores on fat. Cover with foil; roast 45 mins, or until the glaze has caramelised.

Apple Glazed Ham: Score ham to diamond pattern. Preheat oven 175C. Slice 2 Granny Smith apples; place in bottom of roasting pan. Melt 1/3c apple jelly; stir in 2tbs butter until melted; stir in 2tbs Dijon mustard. Brush half over ham. Pour 1c dry white wine or apple juice in bottom of pan. Bake 3.5 to 5kg ham, uncovered, about 2hrs, commonsense will prevail. Halfway through cooking time, baste with remaining glaze. Rest ham 15mins; pour pan juices over slices.

Melting Moments: Preheat oven 160°C. Line 2 baking trays with baking paper. Beat 250g softened butter, 2/3^rd cup sifted pure icing sugar and 1tsp vanilla extract until fluffy.  Sift 2c plain flour and 1/3^rd cup custard powder over butter mixture. Stir with wooden spoon until soft dough forms. Roll level tablespoons of dough into 32 balls. Place on prepared trays; leave room to spread. Using a fork dipped in flour, lightly flatten each biscuit until 1cm thick. Bake 15-20mins until light golden. Cool on tray 10mins.  Cool completely on wire rack. Filling; beat 60g softened butter, 1c sifted pure icing sugar and 1tbs finely grated lemon rind until light and creamy. Spread flat side of 1 biscuit with 2tsps filling; sandwich with 1 biscuit; repeat process.