Table For One....
I invited a most important guest out for lunch today...me! I and me dined at leisure at a local Italian restaurant up here on the mountain. The restaurant, "Brunelli's" boasts magnificent views across the valley below to the mountain range in the west. The weather, although a little inclement, didn't intrude on my interlude. I prefer sitting outside when dining in restaurants. This I did today. The intermittent showers favoured me and held off for the duration of my lunch.
Looking around at the other tables, I found I was the only diner dining alone. I'm used to that as wherever I go there are couples and then just me. This is a society of 'couples'. Does that mean I'm not part of society? Often over the years, I've wondered why this is so, that I'm never 'one of a couple'...the easy answer is...I've not found a soul mate here with whom I can share my delightful, effervescent, sparkling, intelligent, humourous company! ;) Maybe I'm far too particular and my expectations are beyond reach. To some that may appear unrealistic, however, I'm not prepared to compromise and settle for second best. It's my cross to bear and bear it alone I do! I don't need to share my king-size bed with anyone just for the sake of having someone there beside me! Anyway, there's hardly enough room left as it is with my two cats and me battling for rights of ownership!
Why am I so unrealistic? Who knows! Perhaps I was wooed by too many heroes in books and movies. The mold was thrown away after Gregory Peck made his appearance!
There is a special someone whom I hold dear in my heart but land, sea and air distance, amongst other things, are annoying, insurmountable hurdles and obstacles...but I hold on tightly to the memories. It is long since we said our farewells, me with a tear-streaked face, at an airport, and then an even more tearful trip home! A bottle of scotch when I reached my destination did help slightly in alleviating my heartache, though only temporarily!
I find, over the past couple or so years, I'm withdrawing more and more from people. There are a few with whom I still feel at ease. I am becoming more and more reclusive...some may say, eccentric. I don't mind being thought of as being 'eccentric'. Actually, it makes me feel good. At least, I've achieved something!
Throughout the years when I was single (as I am again now) and also in my teen years, I've never been one to enjoy 'dating'. I suppose it's too late for me to change my ways now! I don't want to change, anyway. I am who I am! In some eyes maybe it's a strange way to be. I am the greatest romantic of all but I am unable to find someone who shares my ideas of romance!
So there I was, sitting alone at my table near the railings on the deck of the restaurant, lost within my own fantasy world, imagining what it would be like to be sharing my oddly intimate lunch with my 'phantom'. Shaking away the sadness, the picture in my mind brought a smile to my face. A stranger smiled back. His lady friend turned to see who the recipient of his smile was . I nodded in their direction, hoping it would go no further, sipped on my wine, lowered my eyes and returned to my private reverie....secret thoughts that were mine alone. Thoughts I didn't want to share or be interrupted.
My luncheon soiree, although minus of company and conversation other than me and me...and a pleasant few words exchanged with the waiter and chef...turned out to be a delightful, spontaneous decision and one I'm glad I made. However, as always, it was a pleasure to walk back into my cabin...my sanctuary and haven.